I spent 12 hours with the preceptor from hell last week, and I'm dreading going back to work tomorrow.
A little background: I completed my 7th week of orientation at a new facility, having 3 years experience. I will be critical care float pool for a pediatric hospital, and am about halfway done with my orientation. I've had 10 preceptors so far with positive feedback from all of them, and am becoming increasingly confident in my transition from peds med surg to critical care. This patient was an intubated toddler, on propofol, with a planned extubation the next day. I was placed with this new preceptor because mine had a schedule change.
This shift did not start off positively. I approached my patient's room and the nurse at the desk introduced herself, I realized she was going to be my preceptor and introduced myself as well. I then peaked through the window into the room, and said, Well I am ready to start report, but I don't see the day nurse.†My preceptor snaps at me, clearly irritated, I'm the nurse. I came in at 3. You can come in at 3 and still work a night shift. It's called a double.†I'm a little taken aback, but just mumble okay great†and follow her into the room for report. I do tell her that I'm not very familiar with propofol, I had only been exposed to it twice on patients that were extubated quite early in the morning.
The shift continues, but does not go well. My preceptor criticizes my every move. How I put eye drops in, how I reposition the patient, how slow I complete oral cares, that I don't know how to bolus the propofol properly (I wasn't sure how to program the pump), etc. She would even pop her head into the room to chew me out for not charting something, when I was still in the middle of my charting.
She laughed at my questions when I dared ask them. She even gave me the wrong answer when I asked if a certain lab needed to be on ice (the policy said to put it on ice if it would not be run in 30 minutes. Turns out, they run ICU labs immediately and it does not need to be on ice, so I just did useless busy work).
She also let me know she was willing to throw me under the bus. She was describing how I would need to assist the patient during the xray, you need to watch that tube. Because they aren't watching it, and they are gonna say it's fine. But if it comes out, it won't be me that's in trouble. It will be you.†When Xray did come, she did not help me position the patient.
If this was the worst of it, I could handle that. But, she even found a way to criticize me for something that happened on a previous shift, while simultaneously making me paranoid that the whole unit hates me. In the middle of criticizing my charting, she says, people have been talking about you, you know. Last night, you know you shadowed the admit? Well, you said something to the family. You were supposed to be a fly on the wall, not saying or doing anything except maybe asking the nurse questions if they have time. You were way out of line. If that had been me, I would have thrown you out of the room and chewed you out. But (nurse's name)'s a newer nurse. She's not as salty as some of us. Yeah, I thought I'd let you know cause if it were me, and I did something wrong, I'd want to know.†Sadly, I know this means people have been talking about me, because she was not there that night. I also do not know what I may have said to the family, because nobody brought it up to me at the time.
I understand that ICU's are full of nurses with strong personalities†and that there may even be some hazing of new nurses. However, this seemed too aggressive for that. I have a meeting with my educator to discuss what happened, partially because I am nervous this nurse will report me for incompetence, and partially because I feel like I should report her for being so unprofessional.
Any advice would be appreciated!! I am very nervous to say something to management and have it come back to her, especially if people on the floor already have a low opinion of me. I've really liked this job so far, but now I'm dreading going back.
