Mom Wants Me to Become an RN as Backup... But I Don't

[RyanThePianist]

Hi all,

My name is Ryan, I'm 22 years old, and I recently graduated college with a music major and biology minor. I completed the premed prereqs, but realized in the last year that I don't love medicine, and that I'd rather get a Master's degree in Classical Piano Performance so that I can potentially teach music at universities, K-12, perform around the city/churches, and start a home piano studio to take in students for lessons. Music has been my passion since before I was a teenager, and as a teacher currently, I absolutely love all the kids that I teach and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything else.

I have one dilemma: Since I quit premed, my dad has been ok with my decision, but my mom has been begging me to at least become a nurse as a backup degree... basically, she wants me to spend all this money, time, and energy to obtain a degree that I won't even use (unless I somehow quit music or if need the money). I get she wants me to have a stable backup plan since running a studio is basically running my own private business, which she isn't comfortable about as she thinks I'll be "crawling for money". In my view, yes you gotta hustle and persist to make money, but I'm fully aware of this and accepted that it's a life I want to live.

A career in music may mean that I have to pay for my own health insurance if I don't work at a school, and my income isn't salary based if I don't land a school job; however, I feel I can make it work like the many other successful music teachers/performers in my city who cobble a career together with multiple music-related jobs, and I feel as if going to nursing school would just be wasting my time and money that I could be using to obtain my Master's degree in music and start my business with zero debt. I feel like if I get a nursing degree, I'd be age 25 or so by then, and then I'd have to pay off that debt working in a job I don't enjoy, and then get my Master's in music, then find jobs and gigs while starting my studio.

Best case scenario: There's a teacher in my city who charges $65 per hour lesson, and she has 45 private students and a couple of other employees in her studio. She also accompanies musicians on the side for school. This is quite a lot of money, in my opinion. This is something I want to do one day.

Lastly, I don't care about being rich... as long as I make somewhere around 50-70k I think I'd be pretty satisfied, especially since I'm in my dream career.

I'm simply here to ask what other nurses or nursing students think about this situation. Is it worth it to go through the schooling just to have a fallback degree? Should I just go all in for music and go to nursing school if music isn't paying the bills (which I feel won't be the case since I'm so driven)?

Feel free to ask me any questions you have, especially about music since I'm sure that field isn't a common topic to many of you.

Thank you!

Ryan

[Ddestiny, BSN, RN]

I'd say the only thing bothering me right now is that my mom said she "can't die happy" knowing that I didn't become a nurse. She says she'd rather have me obey her parents like a good Filipino child would, get a nursing degree since my mom wants that stability, and then do music. She'll probably be anxious for years if I go into music first. While this is guilting me, I feel that I need to continue my path if I'm going to put in full effort to make music stable by obtaining a Master's, teaching, and doing side performances.

Just as you, as an adult, are responsible for your own future and financial security, your mother is responsible for managing her own emotions. Using guilt and nagging to get your way is manipulative, even if one means well. As you said, your mother is giving you advice on something about which she has no background. Getting a degree in nursing is useless unless you actively stay involved in healthcare. Even people that do want to be nurses and have work experience can have difficulty getting back into nursing if they take an extended break. Heck my boss literally just yesterday was talking about how she passed on an applicant that is STILL in nursing but had taken an extended transition into nursing management and hadn't worked at the bedside for a number of years. Bottom line, your mother's plan is not the safety net that she believes it to be.

It sounds like you have teaching as well as performance experience and you have a reasonable Plan A. You're not some kid saying they're going to be a star and make millions of dollars peddling their autotuned vocals. Just because your career path is not one that she understands or envisioned for you doesn't make it any less valid. It never hurts to have a backup plan and to at least know some other avenues for revenue in case something changes, but there are probably a number of options that are closer to your current experience, or at bare minimum are things you're actually interested in doing.

Good luck with your decision.

[Bumex, DNP, NP]

To elaborate on my previous comment, I'm a faculty member at a large private university and I see students making the decision to go into nursing when they aren't sure what else to do or need a backup plan. This ends in several ways; 1) they drop out because nursing school is a lot of work that they aren't committed to, 2) they quit nursing after a few years and end up in worse financial loss due to loans, 3) they continue working as nurses and hate their lives, or finally 4) a small fraction are content. If nursing is not what you feel strongly about, you'll most likely hate it and regret the decision.

[Chrispy11, ASN, RN]

Nursing can be a second career, but it can't be a back up career. Two totally different things. If you don' want to be a nurse (and people have many different reasons for wanting to be one), I believe your chances of successfully getting through school and passing NCLEX is minimal. My best to you.

Very true. I just finished my program in May. The program made my previous Masters degree seem easy. I've watched classmates pushed into the program by parents fail out at different points in the program. One who squeaked by failed the NCLEX. You have to really want it. There is a lot of work involved and you have no idea just how much till you're in the middle of it. Lecture, precept, clinical, lab practice, care plans... Best of luck, but considering the investment required, I'd have to agree with the majority of posters here.

[MykRTstudent]

If you truly don't feel called to nursing then don't go to nursing school. It's not worth the money, stress, and time. I went to nursing school for a year and realized it wasn't for me after the fact. I am still in the medical field, but I'm now going toward something that I truly enjoy and I'm still using all of my science pre-reqs that I had initially took for nursing (Respiratory).

Now to be honest with you, degrees in the arts typically don't have a lot of value when it comes to the job market. It's great that you have an idea of what you want to do in the long run, but to score a decent paying job in the arts usually takes some years of dedication and also some luck. Since you took pre-reqs for medical schoo, have you thought of alternatives in the medical field? There are plenty of other options out there where you can still apply most of those classes toward something as a meaningful back up plan. If you don't feel like doing anything in the medical field period, then there are odd jobs out there that will hire people just for having a bachelors degree in anything. Just trying to give you some suggestions as some backup income while you pursue your dream. Best of luck

[Leader25, ASN, BSN, RN]

You can do whatever you want as long as you do not expect mommy and daddy to pay for it.Find another option for backup career,a different instrument like the Harp?

[hmh0324]

Being a nursing major is not one of those majors where you can get into without having the passion for. If you are currently a teacher that could make everything harder because the curriculum is soo challenging it could consume your whole life and come in between you and your passion. If your passion is music then you should pursue what you want; if you are forced you will not be happy or might not even do your best. Theres many components such as clinicals, labwork, and lecture which is mandatory. So if you plan to pursue this be ready to turn your life over. I know many people who pursued nursing just for their family and pass but afterward continue to do what they like and actually end up despising the career. If you feel like you would consider it just mentally prepare yourself. The expenses do add up so save while you can