Please for the love of God.............

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Specializes in Emergency Medicine.

1. If you are on a zillion medications, write them all down on a piece of paper and give the triage nurse the list instead of sitting there trying to remember what all you take. And no, "this little white pill" does not help, or "it is a medicine for hight blood pressure".

2. Know what your allergic too. Telling me "some antibiotic" is not a good answer.

3. Telling me you are allergic to tylenol, ibuprofen, ultram, toradol, all NSAIDS, and telling me only dilaudid works for your hangnail pain will not fly with me. Or the doctor.

4. If you think your cough you had for three weeks is now an emergency at 2am, PLEASE leave your 5 kids at home so they are not ripping and tearing through all the cupboards and playing in the garbage cans.

5. If you come to the ED with any complaint pertaining to your lady parts ex: itchy, discharge, rash, lumps, bleeding etc, or c/o abd pain PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE WASH THAT THING! Is it to much to ask to put a little soap on a wash cloth and clean down there!

6. If when I ask you in my primary nursing exam "any illicit drug use"? Be honest. Because if you tell me "no" and your UDS lights up like a christmas tree I am going to be really Pi&&ed. Just be honest. I will find out the truth anyhow.

7. If when I ask you "do you take any medications?" or "did you take anything for pain?" and you reply "No" and the UDS comes back positive for oxycodone and or opiates, I am going to be pi$$ed you lied to me. Just tell me.

8. Please for the sake of everyone around you, get a shower! I understand we all don't feel like dressing up in our Sunday's best when we are sick but for goodness sake when the bottoms of your feet are so crusty black from DIRT and there is lice the size of cotton balls jumping around in your hair and I am sure your skin hasn't had contact with a bar of soap in MONTHS make me want to barf.

9. If your motives are clearly to score narcotics for the simple fact to get high, at least be smart about it. If you are going to prick your finger with a safety pin to drip blood in your ua to make it positive for blood to help your kidney stone act, please at least make sure your finger is done bleeding before you hand me the cup with your tampered specimen.

10. Please don't lie to me when I ask you if you drove before medicating you with narcotics. Then when you lie to me and say "my friend dropped me off" don't get mad when I call the police and have them sit in your driveway and wait for you after you pulled your iv out and sneaked out of the er, into your car and leave after you got what you were looking for. I was outside smoking and saw you. And I got your license plate number.

Ok, thanks for letting me vent. I feel better. :)

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LOL:p:hug:

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Specializes in Med/Surg, DSU, Ortho, Onc, Psych.

Yes the smelly nether regions REALLY get to me.

I nursed a woman who had stuff crawling around in hers, and she smelled SO BAD, that I swear to god her lady parts was rotting - the smell was the most appalling thing I've ever encountered. and how hard is it to buy a 2 bars of soap for a dollar?

Not good!

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Yes the smelly nether regions REALLY get to me.

I nursed a woman who had stuff crawling around in hers, and she smelled SO BAD, that I swear to god her lady parts was rotting - the smell was the most appalling thing I've ever encountered. and how hard is it to buy a 2 bars of soap for a dollar?

Not good!

When I lived in Texas, we called that "has nearly 10# of 'get-back' holed up in there" :D

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Specializes in Peds Medical Floor.

Bad day at work? :p:p

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Specializes in ER.

gee...SOMEBODY worked the weekend in an ED...On Haloween weekend,lol. Hang in there!

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Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.

We get soldiers in from the field who haven't showered in days, or weeks ... funky! But they can't help it. However, the rest of them can!! I like to say as part of discharge instructions, "And let's make hygiene a priority this year." :D I've learned the valuable skill of putting nice-smelling hand sanitizer in a nebulizer with a little water to make a nice misting scent to de-funk a room after a patient is discharged...

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Oh my....I just put ER down as one of my preceptorship requests. LOL What have I gotten myself into?! Guess I'll get to experience lots of interesting things if I get my request.

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Specializes in icu, recovery room.

Thanks for the laugh. I loved it. I work in a recovery room. Most of the surgeries are scheduled. However, majority are scheduled surgeries. One would think that one would shower. I guess no food or drink means no water for showering.

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LOL I remember those days!

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I wonder how many interesting patients go to ER during halloween, and How funny their stories are :)

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Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.
I wonder how many interesting patients go to ER during halloween, and How funny their stories are :)

I remember one Halloween I had a patient who had altered mental status due to an acute onset of a disease process, and wow did I feel sorry for him ... Raggedy Ann put a Foley in him, his doctor was one of the Seven Dwarves, a guy dressed in prison garb put in his IV, and his nurse (me) was dressed in a bellydance costume .... I'm sure this did NOTHING for his tenuous grasp of reality! How bizarre.

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