Please just stop...VENT

Corvette Guy · Jul 19, 2006

Never intended to strike any chords, but I take it I struck quite a few. Yes I was wrong for calling them chicks, and not being a smart butt at all but all of what you guys said is absolutely right, I should be supportive of the others because I know that they would support me. Yes I did have a bad day, a horrible one at that, but to be honest, I'm glad the 4 of you guys did make me see where I was wrong (especially with that sheep joke) now that I think of it, and actually read what I said instead of rambling, that was pretty stupid. In all seriousness Thanks and I hope nobody was really offended here at all. If so you have my apploigies.

Outstanding!

Hang in there my young soon to be male nurse colleague!

:balloons:

Corvette Guy · Jul 19, 2006

Speaking of whining... hmmmm....

Me thinks you did not read all of Irwin's replies.

weetziebat · Jul 19, 2006

Communication is the key to the universe for the male nurse in the art of survival among our female nurse colleagues.

:rotfl: You are a smart guy, Corvette Guy. Obviously married. 'Communication is the key to the universe for males in the art of survival among females' is another way of putting it.

Hang in there, Irwin. Just try your best to keep balance in your life, and a cool head at school. Getting along with everyone is not a bad goal - never know when you might need a friend - especially in nursing school. Good luck!

vamedic4, EMT-P · Jul 19, 2006

Keep those grades up Irwin...let us know when ya graduate. We're all here to support others - like yourself. Just keep plugging along and doing your best.

vamedic4

wanting to sleep...14 kids on tele...

Roy Fokker, BSN, RN · Jul 20, 2006

If I may post up a few comments.
This OP titled the Thread ... Vent. So, he just wants to vent. Now, he is very, very young. Yet, his heart is into nursing & patient care. Let us help him realize that the female nurses [20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, and 60 yr olds] are in the majority. Communication is the key to the universe for the male nurse in the art of survival among our female nurse colleagues.
Okay, I'll close now & read on.

Even "vents" have limits.

Can't title it "vent" and post as you please.

Hence the re-direct towards solving the reason/cause of said "vent" rather than focussing on "vent" itself.

'Venting' is ok - 'banging on entire sets of people' is not.

cheers,

tookewlandy · Jul 21, 2006

I think you should try to get along wit the people you are in school with. You are all going through something together and its a fact that sticking together only helps you in the long run.

When i started i felt a little weird cause everyone in my class is a woman, and yes they did talk about alot of stuff that i did not relate to. But i never shut anyone out and they accept me with open arms as a fellow student with the same goal as theirs. Now i gained some really good friends who will stick by me and vice versa for the next 2 years and some maybe for life. Yes they are older and some are younger then me, but we all get along and help each other out. i do not think i would want to go to school everyday and feel totally alone, you should try to just be part of the group and maybe that will make things easier for you to handle.

Andy

L.O.E.N. · Jul 24, 2006

I'm 28 now and am still one of the youngest people in my class.... I can definently relate to the difference in "culture", if you will, between us younger guys and the majority of older female nurses. There even seems to be more 40+ male nurses present than 20 to 30 y.o. around where I'm at. Sometimes the way I communicate things to other nurses isn't the way they're used to... I think sometimes we younger guys just relate amongst ourselves in a very different way than the "professional" or the female way of communicating and it comes across as.... i dunno, rude maybe, for lack of any other way of putting it. I can't go in as one of the guys at work like I did when I was military or construction working... it kinda bites, but it's necessary... I do understand where you're coming from though.

But it's easier to just let it ride and be friendly IMO.... friends are cool and definently make this profession easier... :lol2: ... chameleon skillz, bro, chameleon skillz. :monkeydance:

Darth Nightingale · Jul 28, 2006

the op touched on something that i think a lot of people either don't know or pretend isn't so, or like me sometimes forget. women are different than men.

women do complain more than men do. (except when it comes to being sick in bed) sometimes it is really frustrating for men to listen to whining. men think, "got a problem? fix it." it took me a looong time to finally realize that women are not always so matter of fact.

one of the gender differences is that women tend to "communicate to connect," whereas men tend to communicate to "pass on information." yes i'm generalizing, but, generally speaking it's true.

another thing that i had and still have a hard time with is when a woman... often my wife comes to me with a problem and spends 20 minutes on a 2 minute story. i offer my suggestions and the she gets mad at me. at some point, i stumbled on a show, probably "oprah" where they were talking about gender differences and this issue came up. they said, often times a female will relate a problem just to be understood. as men though, we like to fix things, offer suggestions, make the problem go away. our position is, "come to me with a problem, i give you a solution, it either works or doesn't and we move on." as a man i'm "assing on information." what i'm missing is that she is just wanting to connect, be understood or whatever. my wife understands me now and reminds me to just listen when i start to try to fix things, that's all she wants.

i also ran across a scholarly article talking about the benefits of gossip (another predominantly female trait that use to frustrate me at work) when i talked to some of my female co-workers about how the article said there were some upsides to gossip they looked at me like "no duh".

anyways the article talked about how gossiping forms a closer group, makes people feel like they are more bonded because they "know" something that others don't. they are on the "inside." allows them to feel like they've "shared" something when they start talking about other people... etc. all connection oriented stuff.

long story short. women are different and it's important to understand each other while not pigeon holing each other into specific gender roles. nursing is predominantly female and will continue to be for quite a while. my advice is to just accept them how they are. it's not like men don't do things that females don't understand (memorizing sports stats, competitive peeing contests, switching back and forth between the playboy channel and history channel and not being able to find the jar of pickles in the refrigerator etc.

i feel the op's frustration. hang in there.

just my $0.02 (sorry if it this post sounds sexist that isn't the intent)

SummerGarden, BSN, MSN, RN · Aug 2, 2006

furthermore the whining is not like what a patient would do, it's more about instructors, clinical rotations, and the like..they get beaten before they start with the typical female gossip "i heard they did this to make you not do this" i don't care what other people said negatively before, i'm just goin in there to do it, as best as i can, and have a rewarding job, i don't care for the horror stories of last semesters students

hey, irwin, i am a female and i am not insulted by what you just said, however i would like to put out that men do it too. back to your question... i drown whining out by listening to music with my pda. so, the ipod idea is not a bad one. if asked, i tell people i am studying and i need to review my notes... its the truth too.

by the way, not only don't i like whining, but i hate people discussing questions regarding an exam or quiz we are just about to take! so i do it for that reason as well.

there are times i am not able to put my music on because it would be rude or the class has started, so in that case i engage the whiner and inform him/her that he/she should look at the situation differently... i offer suggestions that usually contrast his/her point of view. this usually shuts the whiner or whiners up. people who whine want company. they do not want someone who makes them look like whiners. good luck.

runn40 · Aug 16, 2006

I was wondering how many of you guys out there, faced the same problem I have. Females whining about nearly almost everything?? I thought living with my mom and lil sister for 19 years, and my blonde girlfriend were bad, It makes it seem like heaven compared to school, also whats with those personally invasive questions? I have resorted to bringing an ipod to school, and listenin to music, so I don't have to be brought down and potentially scared by their whining and ranting, and seemingly its more with the older people (im only 20..so I mean like 30 yr old females and stuff) I get along great with the young chicks. I just told one, to quit asking me these questions, and to stop treating me like a kid (i have the highest gpa in the class) and she got all up in arms and offended...What did I do to deserve this? I think im gona prolly turn into either an avon sales man after nursing school, or a sheep lover...im only messing. But do any of you fellah's know what I mean?

This is coming from a female nursing student, AMEN BROTHER! I am experiencing the same thing in my classes. There are days when it takes all my strength to stay in my seat and not tell them all to SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE! I guess this is why I get along better with men in work/school environments. Don't get me wrong I'm not one of those women incapable of having female friends but I can't stand all the *****ing and whining. "professor so-n-so can't we move the test date b/c we have another test that day." "How do they expect us to do all this?" "blah, blah, complain, compain." You are also right that it does tend to come from the older women in class. This is equally as troubling for me b/c I am 29 and I feel like wearing a sign to class that says "I'm not one of them!"

runn40 · Aug 16, 2006

This is coming from a female nursing student, AMEN BROTHER! I am experiencing the same thing in my classes. There are days when it takes all my strength to stay in my seat and not tell them all to SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE! I guess this is why I get along better with men in work/school environments. Don't get me wrong I'm not one of those women incapable of having female friends but I can't stand all the bitching and whining. "professor so-n-so can't we move the test date b/c we have another test that day." "How do they expect us to do all this?" "blah, blah, complain, compain." You are also right that it does tend to come from the older women in class. This is equally as troubling for me b/c I am 29 and I feel like wearing a sign to class that says "I'm not one of them!"

:cheers: :cheers: :cheers: :cheers:

irwin · Aug 17, 2006

Thank you for all of the advice, and to the two ladies that have posted. A little update, now that we are into the meat of our nsg fundies book, 6 chapters a day, I found some really cool adults, just be open and give them a chance, they prolly whine because they are even more scared than we are, I mean, I still walk around the hospital looking like a deer in headlights, but seeing someone in my boat makes it all better. Ofcourse there is still the bad apples, they have formed a clique, and question every little thing the instructor says and start to argue with them, I believe the teacher knows better than any of us, therefore what she says is like bible to me, especially when it comes out of the nursing book that I am sure was not written by some student wanting to impress someone. Shine with your clinical skills, test scores, and bedside manner, not trying to correct someone that took it apon themselves to make the new breed of nurses to follow in their footsteps. Since I like sports, I think of my instructors as my coach, the staff we follow for clinicals the starters, and me the lowly freshmen as being the practice squad. I'm not out to prove anything like these people are except that I am competent enough to earn my license and get a dream job that will leave me with self satisfaction everyday when I punch the clock and head home, I'll question to clairify, not feed my ego, nursing school shattered that ego REAL QUICK! lol