PLEASE HELP, I am lost

I think it's harder to get hired as an LPN, not a BSN. I personally would try to attend a Cal State nursing program. They all have solid reputations and the cost is reasonable. I don't know what you mean about being picky with science and GE courses though...talk to the various nursing programs you are interested in and get firsthand information about what's required. Your local community college should offer all the courses you need. Just make sure to get very good grades.

Is it really true that BSN grads are less likely to get hired?

That part is definitely false. It by far easiest to find employment with a BSN; for most jobs (especially new grad positions), a BSN will either be a preferred qualification or it will be required.

As the PP said, it can be difficult to find LVN jobs, especially if you're inexperienced. It seems that LVNs are being phased out in many acute care hospital facilities, so you'd likely work in an assisted living facility or possibly an outpatient setting.

You could get your nursing associates degree (ADN) at a community college, then get a BSN through a bridge program. It's likely that your employer would pay for your BSN. It's also possible that through an RN-to-BSN bridge program, you wouldn't need any prerequisites other than your ADN degree and your RN licensure so it wouldn't matter if your science classes 'expired.' ADNs may have a slightly harder time finding work than BSNs (due to the 'BSN preferred' mentality), but it's definitely possible to find hospital work.

If you've already spent 5 years on this process, I'd skip the LVN and go straight to either an ADN or BSN. I'd also argue that the best way to get 'experience' is to work part-time as a nurse assistant (NA). That will make it easier to get into nursing school, and easier to get a job as a new grad. Plus, it's totally feasible to work part-time in an NA position during nursing school.