Please don't eat your young.

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as a nursing student i am having a hard time understanding why a good number of nurses are so nasty to nursing students. don't they realize that we are the people who will help fill the shortages in their facilities making their jobs easier? don't get me wrong, i have worked with some great nurses who have been very helpful to me during my clinical rotations. however, the nurses who "eat their young" should know that nursing students compare notes. we warn each other about facilities or units where the nurses have treated us poorly and do not apply for jobs in those places. if your facility has a staffing shortage, being nice to student nurses may help fill the gap later on.

But they're so tasty....

ROFL!:lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

Seriously though, I used to wonder the same thing as a student since the majority of nurses I worked with seemed less than thrilled to have a student. I've had students coming through the last few months and really got a birdseye view of what it's like to have a student after having a few assigned to me. They slow you down and when you're having a crazy, hectic shift it's hard to stop and teach. You are responsible for checking up on that student to make sure he/she is delivering safe care to your patients. When you're tired and all you want to do is go home your patience is not at it's peak. It's not the student's fault they are inquisative and eager to learn. I really try and stop and think about my own student experiances back in school when I'm wearing thin on patience. For instance, if a student is asking questions and I'm not able to answer at that moment I say "That's an excellant question, hold it with any other questions you have and when I'm done and can give you 100% of my attention we'll talk about it." It's intimidating being a student but the experiances they have molds their future, so I try and be the best role model I can with them. :)

Specializes in Geriatrics, Med-Surg..

It is too bad that nursing school doesn't come up with a manual for students and how to handle clinicals. I vote that this thread be printed for nursing students. I know I sure could have used the advice many times.

On another note, I had a student on the unit one day where I did my pre grad time and when she left, what a mess, towels, garbage everywhere. Not saying this is common but these are some of the little things that surely would drive the nurses crazy.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

We shall have to agree to disagree regarding having our heads in the sand.....I have been in nursing 10 years and I think I am pretty clear how it is, after all.

Nursing really is not so very different than most other career fields in this regard.

I have been a waitress, papercarrier, and also served in the military (talk about tough environment, being one of only 5 women in a shop of over 100 men!).-----did all these things prior to entering nursing. It was the same everywhere. You had your bad apples,but they were vastly outnumbered by the good people from whom I learned so much.. I am amazed by the emphasis we are placing on the bad ones and how hard it seems to be for some people to find the good. I had people attempt to chew me up early in my career, but they were certainly were not the majority. Self-assertion is a wonderful thing, no matter what your walk of life is. You really do teach others how to treat you.

Most of the nurses I have worked with, some of whom had more than 35 years' experience are compassionate and more than willing to teach and nurture new nurses. The sour ones, while there were some, were small in numbers, really. I always advise new nurses to find their "mentor" among coworkers, and try to emulate their best qualities and go to them when they have questions or problems. There is someone like this in virtually every unit and hospital there is. Find that person and learn all you can from him or her! And stop letting the crabby ones get to you; they will leave you alone when you show them they cannot get under your skin.

Here is another thought: How about the "young" try coming from a position of strength, and for a start, STOP thinking of themselves as our "young"? Another member said this in another thread, and she was right-on: this type of thinking really places newer nurses in a position of being infantile and helpless. And that is just not true! Really, we are all adults and quite responsible for our conduct and yes, also have some control of how we are treated in the work place, and in life.

Now, if anyone feels nursing is so overwhelmingly negative, maybe, nursing really is not for them. It is not for everyone, after all. And that does not make anyone a failure to admit it and try to find a better fit than nursing is.

For those who think nursing is unique in this way, and see no way out but to leave, I wish you the best and hope you do find a place/career that nurtures your needs more than nursing has. Good luck.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
if the catchphrase "nurses eat their young" had been in vogue when i was a new grad, i would have been convinced i was being eaten. i was a brand new bsn grad in a hospital that had it's own diploma program -- a mistake i didn't even realize i'd made until the "eating" commenced. from the start, i was made more than aware that i just didn't measure up to a diploma graduate. the charge nurses banded together and went to my head nurse (that's what we called them then) to demand that i be fired and that she hire a diploma grad in my stead.

although i didn't realize it at the time, i was making things much worse for myself than they needed to be. i was shy and didn't socialize with my co-workers from the start. i spoke when spoken to, or to ask questions. some of the questions i asked were dumb questions. if i'd kept my eyes open instead of being huddled into my misery, i would have seen the answers to those questions and not branded myself as being hopelessly dumb from the start. (once a group has that opinion of you, it's next to impossible to change it.) i didn't have a preceptor -- i was the first bsn grad this particular nursing unit had hired, and they had no idea what to do with me. my clinicals consisted of two hours in the evening to pick your patient and read up on them, and then four hours the next morning. that suited me just fine because i needed the afternoons for the three part time jobs i always had going to work my way through school! but i'd only inserted one iv, one ng tube, no foleys . . . you get the picture. i was totally inadequate. with a decent preceptor to coach me through it, it would have been ok.

with 20/20 hindsight, i can see what i contributed to my negative interactions with my co-workers. some of them were guilty of bullying, perhaps, but most were just flummoxed by a new orientee that didn't perform anywhere close to the new orientees they were used to -- those that had actually run charge for their last semester of school and who were used to staffing a unit on the night shift. i couldn't quit because i was supporting a husband and paying back my school loans. i was so miserable, i was walking around with a huge "kick me" sign on my back, and my co-workers obliged. after two years of misery, i was an ok nurse, but it took moving to a new city and a new job before i was ever viewed as competent . . . and there's another story of bullying. i didn't have to go through any of that.

so, in a roundabout way, i come to my point:

in these boards, it seems as if most posters see the problem as older, more experienced nurses not being nice enough to the poor, innocent newbie who has no contribution to all of these negative interactions inflicted upon them. rarely do i see a newbie saying that they've examined their own contributions to the problem and tried to alter their own behavior because of that examination; rarely to i see a poster suggest to the newbie that they do just that.

communication is a two way street. it's rare that one person is totally perfect and the other is a horrible, mean human being who is nasty to them for no good reason. yes, nancy nurse may be having a horrible day and she snapped at a newbie, but perhaps the reason she picked you to snap at instead of the other newbie standing right next to you is that you have been an annoying little weasel from the get-go while your compatriot there has been friendly, helpful and is seen to be genuinely trying while you look to be a self-entitled jerk looking out for number one and attempting to weasel out of work. (please understand that i'm not commenting on anyone personally -- i've never met any of you and don't know how charming or annoying you may or may not be.) maybe that older nurse you're quick to accuse of eating her young may just not like you for some reason that you have total control over. on the other hand, maybe it is her -- and you remind her of her husband's mistress or some such.

but please, please please take away from my rant here that if you feel you're being unfairly picked on, please spend some time honestly examining your own part in these interactions. perhaps with 20/20 hingsight, you'll realize that much of it really is your fault. certainly, part of it is your fault. with time spent in self-examination perhaps you can alter those behaviors of yours that are putting everyone's teeth on edge so that it won't take you two miserable years and a cross-country move to turn things around!

excellent post, bears repeating.

one more thought: for those that think asking the "young" to take stock and accountability for any contributions they make to miserable situations is akin to "blaming the victim", that is a wrong belief. rather, this is an attempt to empower victims of '"nurse-eating" to change untenable situations and take back some sense of control in their working environments/careers. nothing changes as long as you remain the victim, and this really is as much up to you as anyone else you can think of to change your status as victim to one as victor.

this is about empowerment, not blaming victims!

i think nursing schools need to add a block of self-assertion lessons to their curricula. seems so many of us lack this skill and that is a shame.

(I think it was this thread).... I posted earlier how scary these threads make me feel, but after reading many of the other responses... I do feel much better. I'm convinced that if I show up, do what I am suppose to do, keep my mouth shut unless necessary... I'll do just fine.

And everyone is correct... there is bullying out there in just about every other field. I worked for an insurance company prior to having children. After my first was born, my husband and I decided it would be best for me to be a SAHM. So I quit immediately after my maternity leave was completed. I did get paid for my time off and I did have all my hospital expenses covered.

Fast forward to baby #2.... It was 6 months after September 11th and my husbands job wasn't doing as well as he had done previously to 9/11. (he's a financial planner)... so I went back to my old position pregnant and all (the company knew this) and worked up until baby was born, (about 6 months) then took 10 weeks off for my materity leave (unpaid because I hadn't been there a full consecutive year yet) and worked until he was 10 months old and we got our feet back on the ground again. At that point it again made more sense for me to stay home with both kids and I quit my job.

You wouldn't believe the noise that was made around my department (behind my back of course) about how I "MILKED THE SYSTEM" by having kids and getting paid and quitting... etc. Which was a bunch of bull! I did get paid for 8 weeks of maternity leave after baby #1 but I had also been there for 2 years before I had her. But I didn't receive a dime for my maternity leave after baby #2 nor did I "need" the insurance money because my husband was fully covered. But the word got back to me (eventually) about what a rotten person I was and how I did this to my company. I called the individual who was responsible for this and gave her an earful.

This is a roundabout way of bullying... but it happened and it made me realize that no matter how nice someone is to your face and no matter how well you think you are doing (I was really a hard worker and liked by my supervisors) people are going to do mean things and say mean things because... well... that's what a lot of people do.

I think the difference with nursing is that training is a much different situation. You don't just take a 2 week training course and then get thrown into the position. And today with the shortage, so many nurses are so busy without the added stress of having to help someone else along, it just adds to an already stressful situation and we probably don't always see the best sides of everyone.

I can speak from volunteering with nurses that I can just see how overworked, overstressed and overfrustrated they are, and I'm not really that involved. I feel so badly for them but they do tend to take it out on each other a lot of the time.

Specializes in Psych, Informatics, Biostatistics.

It irritates me that I still see this happening after so many years in the nursing field.

Specializes in ER.

The main thing I see in students in the ER is "attitude". If you come as a student with the attitude what all can I learn and see in my limited time there you will do fine. But I have seen so many who have said Oh I don't need to start an IV I already did one! Why do I need to go check vitals isn't that the job of the CT? NO! Nurses, even students are ultimately responsible for their patients. In a busy ER see what you can do for your nurse. You will be surprised how much you can learn, whether it's improving your assessment skills or your clinical skills. Everyone pitches in for patient care in the ER. Come with a good attitude and you won't be lunch.

eating your young is not in your imagination. fear-based training is an acknowledged and permitted form of education that some schools continue to use. both a clinical instructor and a dean confirmed its use to me. an unsubtle example is having to get 100% on a quiz or a skills lab or `you're out of the program'. this is particularly true of the med-surg teachers, with whom, at my school, the rest of the instructors have a hard time. my personal opinion is that the individuals who consciously promote such training are filled with fear themselves and then engage in projection or transference of those fears towards those over whom they have power. same concept of a father beating the crap out of child to toughen them up. paternalism at its worst.

i believe that fear-based training is nothing less than abuse. and the hypocrisy of preaching compassion while simultaneously practicing abuse is one of the things that drives students away from programs, while wondering `am i crazy?'. and, in the nature of the harvard prison psychological test, individuals who are socially marginalized in the class will tend to get hit hardest. arbitrary application of such training allows the faculty to get rid of those who aren't, in their opinion, `socializing', which brings up other hypocrisies regarding honoring diversity... targets include older students, but not always minorities, because the latter would not be pc enough.

fear based training has very serious connotations nationally and worldwide as the shortage of nurses is resulting in people dying. we need to keep our nursing students, not drive them away because they have a low tolerance for unprofessional hypocrisy or abuse. fortunately, things are slowly changing and many instructors abhor these tactics.

It's hard to imagine how the OP thinks that nurses eat their young. Especially considering how so many of the people on this forum have been so supportive, by telling the OP that it's quite possibly her own fault that she's been treated unfairly, and that she surely has an attitude problem that the nurses are simply "responding" to, and asking her to examine her own behaviors, and her part of the conversation, and that she should "get over it." While there may be some truth to those responses, it appears the OP really struck a nerve. The truth hurts, doesn't it?

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Truth definately varies by perception, I would say. I don't see a lot of people blaming the victim here, so much as asking anyone in such a position to take some responsibility and become assertive in dealing with it. That is not "young eating" so much as sound advice that would help if taken.

Specializes in Med/Surg, Geri, Ortho, Telemetry, Psych.
Truth definately varies by perception, I would say. I don't see a lot of people blaming the victim here, so much as asking anyone in such a position to take some responsibility and become assertive in dealing with it. That is not "young eating" so much as sound advice that would help if taken.

Amen, sister. :yelclap:

Specializes in Telemetry, Nursery, Post-Partum.
Truth definately varies by perception, I would say. I don't see a lot of people blaming the victim here, so much as asking anyone in such a position to take some responsibility and become assertive in dealing with it. That is not "young eating" so much as sound advice that would help if taken.

I totally agree with you!

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