Personal Statement help needed

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"It is not how much you do but how much love you put in the doing" - Mother Theresa.

Love is what drives me in the nursing profession. The opportunity to inspire individuals to achieve health and wellness is rewarding. It was difficult to grasp the concept "do what you love". But, after my first year as a Registered Nurse, I look back and realize the excitement I get before starting my twelve-hour shift. It is the moments when you can put a smile on someone's face or help reach the unreachable. Over the last five years, my sincere interest in nursing has evolved. My various work experiences has allowed met o mature as a caring, goal-oriented professional. Nursing has been a demanding and an ever-changing role in the past few decades, but has inspired me to extend my nursing leadership and attend graduate school to attain my Master of Science in Nursing for Family Nurse Practitioner.

How I entered the nursing field stem back to my family. Throughout my life, caretakers surrounded me. Since, I can recall my grandmother lived with my family till the age of nine years old when she suffered a series of stroke. My mother took on the role to be her provider and caretaker, while working a full-time job. My father served our country in the Navy for twenty years as a Medical Technologist and worked part-time at a pediatrician clinic. Their families immigrated to the United States from the Philippines with nothing, except a dream to succeed. Hard work and positivity brought them where they are today. I admire their qualities of comfort, motivation, and dedication to family and to their career goals. My parents shaped my morals and values that I carry in life today. They embodied the filial duty in their culture that I want to return to them one day. Hence, I continued to work towards a medical career.

I come from a family of generations of nurses. The realities of entering a profession in nursing materialized when I began college at the University of Iowa. It is an honor to be the first generation in the U.S. from my family to hold a B.S.N. degree from the nationally ranked University of Iowa School of Nursing. Currently, I am employed at a nationally ranked number one Metropolitan hospital, Northwestern Memorial Hospital. Working at a teaching facility with diverse populations has inspired me culturally to reach out to vulnerable/underserved populations. Providing or vulnerable populations began when I developed "Let's Talk About Sex" campaign for rural communities in Iowa and the freshman population of the University of Iowa. I particularly reached out to communities who lacked education and preventative care. It is my goal to provide preventative care and education to all populations.

My current practice that I admire the most is maternal-newborn. As a postpartum nurse, I am exposed to many elements of the lifespan. Education is a major part in postpartum. Many patients have had little or no exposure to medicine or newborns. Developing an approach to communicate to different population takes good skill that I hold. There is always a constant change in medicine. New discoveries and clinical practices are made. To help educate my patients and I, I attended this past year's March of Dimes conference and earned a certification as a breastfeeding counselor. Evidence-based practice and continuing education has always been a part of my practice and will continue with my future in nursing.

Research is not a common practice for many nurses; however, I started to develop a love for research during my last year of nursing school. For my senior internship, I worked at a Surgical Oncology unit. Majority of the patients were elders. My responsibilities were to take on the care of four patients each day. There was one patient who was there everyday during my entire 225 hours at the unit. His treatment extended from medication administration to palliative care. He became a research study in his last weeks of life. His signs and symptoms of illness did not correlate to any form of cancer, but a two-week discovery of a rare tumor in the brain that quickly deteriorated his body functions. After my clinical experience with this patient, I realize there is a need in research.

In my last year of undergraduate study I was given the opportunity in research. I developed an honors independent study with Pediatric Nurse Practitioners (PNPs) at the newborn and neonatal intensive unit (NICU). We created a partnership to observe various newborns that are at least 35 gestational weeks. The focus was to see the trends in why neonates transition and why they transfer to the NICU. There was no organization between the Newborn Nursery and NICU. All information on the patients was distributed to different personnel and units. To help create an organized data system, I developed a 21- entry database that could be accessed in one computer network by the Newborn Nursery and NICU. This brought high hopes to the PNPs on the units because of a potential evidence-based project. The hospital lacked a definitive protocol for NICU transfer based on gestational age. Currently, the database is in the process in getting connected with the hospital's network.

Research has continued in my nursing practice. This past year I was a member of Define-Measure-Analyze-Improve-Control (DMAIC) at Northwestern Memorial Hospital, which is an active committee in process improvement. Many employees each year were having back injuries due to heavy soiled utility bags. I partnered with many DMAIC members to help improve the safety of the employees. Smaller soiled utility bags were created to help minimize bag overload. Also, smaller wastebaskets called "Midgets" were developed. I volunteered at the Safety Fair at Northwestern Memorial Hospital to explain the changes to all employees. They were able to visualize the comparison from the larger soiled utility bags to the smaller ones. The new bags and wastebaskets are in-use hospital-wide and have reduced back injuries. Currently, I am a Falls Expert representative for my unit. We meet quarterly to discuss the barriers to falls plan and present current evidence-based practices from various hospitals nationwide to help decrease our hospital's falls. The process of learning to critically review hospitals' practices is very stimulating, broadening my exposure to research.

I would love to continue to be involved in research as I further my nursing practice. It is my goal to develop and or assist in research studies in reputable facilities, such as UCLA. I am particularly interested in publications by Dr. Angela Hudson and Dr. Deborah Koniak-Griffin. The opportunity to study under faculty with expertise in my primary areas of interest, maternity-newborn nursing and women's health is exciting. Research pertaining to health promotion and primary interventions for at-risk groups has been a huge interest of mine. I believe the academic support of UCLA would allow my nursing research to expand.

Community service continues to be an activity I enjoy. I have focused on Dance Marathon organization, which involves year-round work to support families and children diagnosed with cancer. My participation increased to the Family Representative group, becoming directly involved with supporting a specific family before the main event. As a Registered Nurse, I have utilized my skills and license to serve community events in need for medical volunteers, such as the Rock 'n' Roll Marathon Series.

University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) mission to prepare nurses in this ever-changing profession through academic excellence and innovative facility with strong networks is the best fit for me. Holding reputations in research and clinical practice will broaden my nursing experience and allow me to reach my ultimate goal to be a Family Nurse Practitioner.

Being the first generation in my family to graduate from college in the United States has always motivated me to follow my dreams. I am passionate about and dedicated in pursuing a career as a Family Nurse Practitioner. I am prepared to take on a rigorous Masters program. Through my observations I am aware of the high expectations at the UCLA. I am fully committed and confident that I will continue to improve academically and receive quality education at a nationally ranked school, UCLA.

Did they provide a prompt for the personal statement? Sometimes this prompt will tell you how they want you to structure the statement. You certainly have an interesting background; the challenge is to organize that into a statement that convinces the committee that you're definitely qualified and committed.

Watch your grammar, specifically the subject-verb agreement. A plural subject (experiences) needs a plural verb (have). Many of these things should be easy to eliminate by running a grammar check in Microsoft Word. You don't want to submit an essay with grammar issues.

Be careful about the overuse of very general or self-evident statements, like the fact that medicine is ever-changing. Don't leave those sentences by themselves. Only use them if you can specifically tie them into a point about how you have distinguished yourself as an applicant.

I would stay away from the quote at the very beginning. You want to stand out. Quotes are a common way to begin these statements. You are much more than a common applicant. :)

You have many, many qualifications that are going to serve you well in the application process. Think about this as an opportunity to sell your strengths. One way to organize it, unless they have given you other instructions: In the opening paragraph, I would tell them maybe four strengths that will lead you to success in their program. Then in each paragraph, you can expand on one strength, showing - specifically - how your personal and professional experiences provide evidence of that strength.

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