how to be perfect in a world expecting you to be perfect..

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Specializes in ob/gyn med /surg.

this is just a vent.. i can't talk much about the incident because of HIPPA... but i was so busy today there was one thing that happened that could of been a very costly mistake .. the outcome was good ( Thank God) .. i am having a hard time trying to be on 100% all the time at work.. i get tired fatigued , hungry and have to pee sometimes.. but am so busy i can't think of myself.. i think i'm human.. but at work i know i have to be 100% on every pt and i just can't do it sometimes.. i have other pt's and many things to do in a 12 hour shift as you all know and 6 patients... .. ive been a nurse for 25 years and maybe feeling my age i'm in my middle 40's.. and work in a busy hospital and have been over 5 yearsnow at this hospital.. on a med/surg floor.. i own all mistakes even when they are made by transport and i didn't catch it right away.. i feel guilt , shame and feel like a horrible nurse if i'm not 100% on all the time and a mistake is made..... maybe i'm just getting old?? i sure feel it these days... does anyone think nursing ages you quickly? thank you all for listening...

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Specializes in home health, dialysis, others.

You say 'could have been' so that indicates that the mistake was averted, or really didn't amount to much. So why are you beating yourself up so much?

No one is perfect, no one will ever be perfect. We can only strive to do our best.

Take care of yourself, and best wishes.

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Specializes in ob/gyn med /surg.

i don't know why i beat myself up so much.. ive been doing it alot lately.. ijust feel at work i have to be 100% all the time and i feel horrible if i miss something or make a mistake... thank you for making me feel better.. yes the outcome was good and the mistake was caught and the pt is fine and hugged me .. she should be fine.. i just think what could of been and why did i miss this and i should of checked .. plus the dr's said it was my fault because i should of checked after the transporters.. but i had a man having trouble breathing and a poor man who was blind who needed me and lots of problems and missed this... i'll tell you all about it in 50 years when i'm 96 and all parties are long gone !! thank you mamamerlee..hugs to you !!

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Why are you setting yourself up to fail? Why are you not nurturing yourself? Is there something else going on in your life to push you beyond when your body is telling you to slow down?

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Specializes in ob/gyn med /surg.
Why are you setting yourself up to fail? Why are you not nurturing yourself? Is there something else going on in your life to push you beyond when your body is telling you to slow down?

you are right .. i have to take care of my elderly mother and i am exhausted and stressed worrying about her and think she is starting dementia.... i care for her on my days off.. and just is exhausted all the time... yes you are very right and i always feel i maynot do enough for her and must work ... i worry about her and have a hard time with her getting older ... i should be able to accept it is a apart of life to get older .. but it is hard for me ... i push myself all the time ... and just wish i could give 100% Of all i do ... i work tirelessly at work trying not to miss everything sand not miss a thing ... i think of pt's as my family and if i fail them .. i feel very guilty.... so you are right ... i do have other things going on in my life... hugs to you .. you made me feel better...

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Specializes in PACU, OR.

Sounds to me as if you need a holiday, but that's probably a pipe dream isn't it? Try and arrange a break, go and stay with family or friends, do something you've always wanted to do but never got around to...

You are setting yourself up for burnout and that is not going to help anyone, neither your patients nor your mother.

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People look up to you because you are a seasoned nurse, and of course you want to give 100% and never make a mistake, but if we never make mistakes, we would never learn anything. And no matter how long we have practiced or how good we are, we make mistakes. There was an incident on my floor where 2 very experienced nurses made mistakes in a short period of time, and it really made the upper management step back and evaluate what was going on that contributed to this happening. I don't know that much of anything changed, but still. Everyone recognized that it was not solely the nurses who were at fault, and that there were contributing factors. None of us are alone in our mistakes, and especially on a busy and chaotic floor, it's gonna happen. Sometimes, we're expected to do the impossible. It's downright frightening. You are not robot-nurse, you are human, dealing with a lot of stress both on and off the job. Hugs to you. One can hope that this incident of yours will lead to changes on your unit making such a thing less likely to happen.

you are right .. i have to take care of my elderly mother and i am exhausted and stressed worrying about her and think she is starting dementia.... i care for her on my days off.. and just is exhausted all the time... yes you are very right and i always feel i maynot do enough for her and must work ... i worry about her and have a hard time with her getting older ... i should be able to accept it is a apart of life to get older .. but it is hard for me ... i push myself all the time ... and just wish i could give 100% Of all i do ... i work tirelessly at work trying not to miss everything sand not miss a thing ... i think of pt's as my family and if i fail them .. i feel very guilty.... so you are right ... i do have other things going on in my life... hugs to you .. you made me feel better...
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I went to therapy to sort out how to fit "me" into MY life. It is instinctual for nurses to forget "me". My life was running me instead of the other way around. Life adjustments occur several times over the years. Remember, without YOU, where would your patients be? Without YOU, what are the options for your mom's care? Have you thought of respite care for your mom for a week or two? Your body can only take so much stress before bad things begin to happen. Relationships begin to suffer. The serenity prayer helps.

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After 14 years of nursing I STILL feel that 12 hour shifts are too long. The facilities I worked before had 8 hour shifts and it worked well. When those facilities moved up to 12 the med error rate increased, issues with falls, IV problems, etc also increased. When the facilities increased to 12 hour shifts, they also cut back on staff. So not only are we working longer shifts, we are caring for more patients. Add to that the lack of support staff, more charting, etc. and it's a recipe for overworked, stressed, and worn out nurses.

Don't beat yourself up, dearie. You are a normal, hardworking nurse. You need a break to re-energize yourself and recharge. Good Luck!

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I am an aide who a couple of years ago tried taking care of my mom, full time parent, going to school full time and being a care giver. I got to the point where I could not take on all three anymore so I told my mom that she would have to hire a home health agency to come in and help you. I felt bad but it actually ended up working out great. My mom made friends with her care giver and my mom felt that she had her dignity back.

I think that in your care I would take some time off from both jobs. As you know it is important to take care of yourself.

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Specializes in ob/gyn med /surg.

thank you all for your kind words .. you made me feel human again... i need to find 8 hour shifts.. the 12 hour shifts are long .. i wish i could tell you more about the incident but i don't dare at this time... but i should of checked after the transporters dropped off the pt and i should of caught by the s/s what was going on... and i own this mistake... thank Goodness the outcome was good and hopefully she is back to normal again...

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Specializes in ob/gyn med /surg.

thank you rosey i am going to look into that...

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