Patients whose gf/bf sleep with them in the hospital bed

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Today I went in to do an assessement of a patient. I knocked, didn't get a response, and peeked in. The room is completely dark and I ask to turn the light on. The patient turns the light on and he and his girlfriend are in the little narrow bed together, sleeping. I can't help but feel like I'm intruding:o

Now Ive seen this before but it was two teenagers so I kind of dismissed it, but two gray haired adults crammed in that narrow bed just seems so silly to me. Why not let patient recuperate and sleep in the pullout bed beside him?

gr8rnpjt said:
OMG!!!was she giving or receiving?

OMG, that is exactly what I was gonna say!!!!

steph

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Giving.

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fergus51 said:
Giving.

Ok that is just rude. It reminds me of my sister's husband, who insisted on sex every single day, even the day she gave birth.

Maybe I'm wrong but that just strikes me as very selfish on the part of the taker.

And receiving would be a rather messy deal . .

Ok - that enough of that . . . .:monkeydance: (another new smilie).

steph

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Specializes in Medical Surgical.
gr8rnpjt said:
OMG!!!was she giving or receiving?

I was dying to ask the same question!! Either way it's not a pretty sight! YIKES! LOL

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Specializes in Home Health, Case Management, OR.
porcelina22 said:
A few years ago, my best friend was about 32 weeks preg with her 2nd baby and went into Preterm Labor. She was on Mag and Terbutaline (Mag for sure, can't remember too well if she was also on Terb for the entire time), but she was terrified. Her husband had left her about 2 weeks after they found out she was pregnant and had no one with her...so I stayed the night, most of the time in bed with her so I could sit her up when she started getting nauseous. We were incredibly close, and I must say, the nurses were the best group of women ever. Never batted an eye at the sight of two 20-something girls curled up together in bed. They even offered me warm blankets and a breakfast tray...

Point being, you never know what is going to be best for a patient. If they want their SO (or friend, or whatever) curled up next to them, who are we to judge? It's still reasonable to ask them to move over so you can assess...

That is so sweet! Sounds like something my best friend and I would do for eachother in that situation!

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Specializes in Oncology, Med-Surg, Nursery.

I wouldn't have an issue with it. Whatever makes people feel better, right? Now I dunno about the L&D situation....yeah, just wow. :uhoh21:

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Specializes in 5th Semester - Graduation Dec '09!.

ah.. welcome to the world of BSN education.. These are the kind of things we get tested on. We learn to try to find another bed, join them together with the side rails down in the middle. Not very realistic, huh?

Never the less, I think it's a good thing--even the young ones. If it is safe for the pt and just like fergus51 said, "...if I can still do my assessment," it may be therapeutic.

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Specializes in Med/Surg. for now.

i think that if they are underage that is different, but for the most part, if no sexual stuff going on (there is a time and place and the hospital isn't one of them), getting together in the same bed doesn't bother me. i have even offered by saying "if this is something that is comfortable in your relationship, it is ok with me". on a side note...when my mother was actively dying i crawled in bed with her to hold her, and naturally stayed there for a bit after she died (she was a dnr). my aunt and husband were on the way to the hospital, and when he got there the chaplain met him at the door of a large medical center...(at 1 in the morning) and said "are you paula's husband...she really needs you"! the nurse knew that i worked in hospice at the time, but still she called the chaplain because she thought it was strange and weird to lay in bed with her and to continue to do so after she died...my hubby and i can actually laugh about this now, and about a year after this i was precepting a student in the hospital and she had heard this story a couple weeks before while in clinical...seems the nurse still told the story cause she thought it was bizarre on my part!!!!

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LoriAlabamaRN said:
I've had it happen before too. I just thought it was sweet. Now, what DID upset me was when the wife was the patient and the husband would only stay with her if he could have the bed and she slept on a chair... :angryfire

and she DID IT. Slept on a chair with a broken leg. Told me it was worth it because she didn't want to be alone.

Did he have anything to do with the leg getting broken in the first place? :angryfire:angryfire:angryfire:angryfire:angryfire:trout::trout::trout:

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LoriAlabamaRN said:
I've had it happen before too. I just thought it was sweet. Now, what DID upset me was when the wife was the patient and the husband would only stay with her if he could have the bed and she slept on a chair... :angryfire

and she DID IT. Slept on a chair with a broken leg. Told me it was worth it because she didn't want to be alone.

All he** no!! As long as I had the nurses to come in every 10 seconds and take my vitals, it would have been easy to strike up a conversation. That is not even right and shame on him!!

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