Patients and medical terminology....What the heck?!?!

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Ever have patients that try to tell you whats "going on" with them and then have to get a translation of the terms they use.....These are soooo fun to try to decipher!!.....Examples...

What the patient said...."I've gotta catch in my gettalong!"

What he really meant....."I need some of that Viagra"

Said......"I'm all stove up!"

meant...."Wow I've gotta BAD cold!!"

Said......."I think I've got arthriTIES!" (Not to be confused with arthriTIS!)

meant...."Wow, my knee really hurts"

Said......."I need a refill on my MUCOUS"

meant ....."I need some more MUCOMYST"

Said........"I've got red PUMPS allover!!" (not to be confused with shoes)

meant......"I've got chicken pox!"

I could go on and on here, but these things crack me up in a daily basis!!......What other good ones have you guys heard??:roll

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Here are a few I have heard:

* I am nearly blind, you know I have that imaculate degeneration.

*My baby's nose is constipated.

* I didn't take may latex today. (meaning lasix)

* What do ya mean I have keystones in my urine?

(meaning ketones)

*I had my monogram done last month.

(meaning mamogram)

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Tele, ER, Psych.

Chicken PoPs always amuses me.

I need you to give me a scription for pheregen and call it in to WalMark.

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Our favorite in OB is

"Can I have my EPIDERMAL?"

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Tele, ER, Psych.

I just don't think I could work with those 'psychic' patients all day!

Do you think the patients already know that and are thankful?

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Specializes in tele, stepdown/PCU, med/surg.

What's really funny is I know an RN who works on a telemetry floor and she was talking about her patient's "Myocardial Infraction!" :)

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My grandmother called her MDs office and tried to schedule her masectomy (sp) - she meant her mamogram. :eek:

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I know how she feels!!!....I never did well with fractions, math has never been my strong point.....heeehhehehheheheh!!!

Originally posted by zacarias

What's really funny is I know an RN who works on a telemetry floor and she was talking about her patient's "Myocardial Infraction!" :)

:roll :chuckle ;)

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

In North Carolina and I'm sure elsewhere in the South, I've heard "I've got sugar"....meaning "I've got diabeties..."

Also in NC they say "I'm coughing up cold" meaning "I've got a productive cough".

And "water" means urine. "making water" means urinating.

:)

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Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.
Originally posted by 3rdShiftGuy

In North Carolina and I'm sure elsewhere in the South, I've heard "I've got sugar"....meaning "I've got diabeties..."

Also in NC they say "I'm coughing up cold" meaning "I've got a productive cough".

And "water" means urine. "making water" means urinating.

:)

Oh yes ! Most of our patients have that ol' "sugar"...;) (along with that arthriTIES) ...

And one of my coworkers always asks our newer patients if they are still "making water" ... I always thought she was just too "nicey" to say the word URINATING to the patient, or if she thought they might not understand the word "void" or "urinate".

I had no idea this was a regional thing.. I always thought it was just her... and it always BUGGED me when she said it ! :chuckle

See? I've judged prematurely. I hang my head in shame. :imbar

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When they say they've got a problem with their prostrate

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Heard many times, and not as a joke: "My mother/father has old-timers." (alzheimers)

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