Patients and medical terminology....What the heck?!?!

[Big Bab's]

Ever have patients that try to tell you whats "going on" with them and then have to get a translation of the terms they use.....These are soooo fun to try to decipher!!.....Examples...

What the patient said...."I've gotta catch in my gettalong!"

What he really meant....."I need some of that Viagra"

Said......"I'm all stove up!"

meant...."Wow I've gotta BAD cold!!"

Said......."I think I've got arthriTIES!" (Not to be confused with arthriTIS!)

meant...."Wow, my knee really hurts"

Said......."I need a refill on my MUCOUS"

meant ....."I need some more MUCOMYST"

Said........"I've got red PUMPS allover!!" (not to be confused with shoes)

meant......"I've got chicken pox!"

I could go on and on here, but these things crack me up in a daily basis!!......What other good ones have you guys heard??:roll

[Trixxy, LPN]

"They dee-cee-did the heparin she was taking"

meaning "They d/c'd her heparin."

"Corn-fused" instead of "confused".

"Olt-timers" instead of "Alzheimers".

[Havin' A Party!, ASN, RN]

Originally posted by RN~in~CT

When they say they've got a problem with their prostrate

Yep, hear that often.

Also, ladies worried about their mammiogram.

[ScarlettRN]

Let's not forget the patient who had the MI. Told by the doctor he had a massive infarct, the patient told his wife later that he had a Massive Internal Fart