Parent/camera nearby...can u read?

Specialties Private Duty

Published

There's downtime with GB kids where I would have liked to check my phone, read a book etc. They could be napping, feeding, standing in stander etc. I normally try to talk and sing to my pts all day even though they are all cognitively impaired, nonverbal and non responsive. But sometimes i do need a break and just let them feed or whatever. but one of the moms is always sitting a few feet away and i feel bad about reading/doing something not work related since she can see and hear everything ( theres no door to the room, its open to where she sits all day in the dining room). If theres no pcg there, I worry they are watching me on camera. Am I being paranoid...? Do you all talk and sing to the pt all day or also take time off for yourself when there's nothing to do?

Can't you just have a nice conversation with the parents? Our nurses had access to our wi-fi and there was a cable television in the bedroom. They could read/study, knit, watch TV/movies (nothing R-rated) as long as everything was done and kiddo was happy.

In your case, if the child is in the stander, he/she might need some distractions through singing or reading books. But a sleeping, content child should give you plenty of time to chart, read your own book, whatever.

Ventmommy, the thing with "as long as everythings done and the kid is happy" is that there are 2 perspectives on that. In my view , after competing all my feedings/ meds/ shower/ diaper changes etc etc for that hour, and after singing and engaging with the child all day, if the child is happy playing with toys on the floor mat, or ( if lower functioning) hanging out in the wc clean and fed listening to nursery rhymes on his iPad, then I would like to take a peek at my phone, or read a magazine, or eat in peace without having to sing the itsy bitsy spider or Mary had a little lamb. PCG however wants me there on the mat engaging with the child during that time... Why? Every child needs his play time, by himself. I'm sure shes not with him there every minute when I'm not there. Why do I have to constantly entertain for 9 hours on top of all the nursing care? I feel like I do above and beyond. On top of providing compassionate skilled nursing care, Im a preschool teacher with him, a nanny, an entertainer, everything. I need a break too. And im not comfortable going to the parents to ask permission to text on my phone ....or read a little, just cannot picture having that conversation. that is why I'm asking you all.

Exactly Alex!!!! That's exactly how I feel. If Jr hasn't responded his whole life than surely I can stop singing for 30 minutes to text my daughter or read a magazine. But some parents expectations are rediculous. They want u engaging with their child hands on all the time. And of course they dont do it themselves. Even when there's no nursing care to be provided for the next hour, you can't go silent, take a break or do your own thing. Big brother is always watching whether by camera or hovering in person and they make you feel like a slacker on the job if youre sitting on your chair and the child is unentertained at the moment, even if he has his tv on or ipad playing songs, its not enough for them. I sing and talk to these (non responsive) kids 9 hrs a day, every day, and need a break or two from old mcdonald had a farm and 5 little ducks went out one day over the hill and far away.

The point is that you should have had the conversation at the start of the case. Not necessary to ask permission every time, each and every day. If, or when, the parents renege on their initial requirements, and it gets to be too much, time to get another case. Don't allow unreasonable people to make your work life miserable, shift in and shift out.

You are right Calliotter. Unfortunately its too late now. I haven't thought of talking about this at the start of any of my cases. Maybe the agency could have mentioned that...One mom is an easygoing parent, lets you work and is busy with her stuff. the others are the ones with unrealistic expectations. They are also the ones that are always home. Lesson learned for next case.

Sometimes it is not so easy to find another case when times are hard. My area has not had a lot of work for a very long time. Nurses who have good cases keep them and nurses who have bad cases keep those too because they need the paycheck. But you really have to decide for yourself how much bs you are willing to tolerate and for how long.

Yes, you are right. Its true in this area too. Can take months to get a case that fits your days, times, distance. Finding a good fit is golden. I too would hold on to that, you're in a comfortable routine with the kid, everybody's happy with each other. So due to that i developed a high tolerance for BS theres just no other choice. And due to that I work for 3 different agencies. While working I try to exceed expectations but much prefer if those arent rediculous.

Why isn't your agency giving you the household info before you even go to the meet and greet? I had a comprehensive booklet with all of our expectations, requirements, rules, and responsibilities all laid out. It also explained our household composition so that you didn't waste my time if you hated dogs or were deathly allergic to cats. I also included things I was picky about (you needed to bring CLEAN slippers/crocs for use in the house),there was no pork of any kind allowed, and you needed to bring your own flatware if you were eating meat. It also listed the perks (cable TV with all movie channels, occasional fun outings, use of wifi, unlimited cat cuddles).

It's not too late to talk to the parents. If the parents are that unapproachable, then talk to your ADON or DON to get this worked out.

Right, of course not!! I too always feel self conscious if they are observing me. And yes even when charting. You are so right, it literally is "performing". Singing mary had a little lamb,the itsy bitsy spider and old mcdonalds has a farm all day long i feel like a preschool teacher. But worse, cause at least they get responses from the kids.

I've been struggling with this too. And absolutely..."performing" is the right word. I do it. All. Day. Long.

The easiest solution in my opinion?

Two words: Night Shift

Specializes in ICU, Agency, Travel, Pediatric Home Care, LTAC, Su.

I'm wondering how the kid is getting all the PDN hours if he has so much family around? In PA, we have to fight just to get hours covered while parents work and possibly while they sleep too. Just found out if 8 hours of daytime nursing is ordered M-F while mom is at work and mom is doing any thing but work and company bills it, it is fraud. Doesn't matter if mom is home sick or mom is out shopping, if it is ordered for when she is working. I've always seen it written that way, but I never thought about it in those terms til a recent inservice.

On 7/19/2018 at 7:07 PM, ventmommy said:

Why isn't your agency giving you the household info before you even go to the meet and greet? I had a comprehensive booklet with all of our expectations, requirements, rules, and responsibilities all laid out. It also explained our household composition so that you didn't waste my time if you hated dogs or were deathly allergic to cats. I also included things I was picky about (you needed to bring CLEAN slippers/crocs for use in the house),there was no pork of any kind allowed, and you needed to bring your own flatware if you were eating meat. It also listed the perks (cable TV with all movie channels, occasional fun outings, use of wifi, unlimited cat cuddles).

It's not too late to talk to the parents. If the parents are that unapproachable, then talk to your ADON or DON to get this worked out.

I want to work with you! The fact you KNOW what works for you and what doesn't and spell out those expectations is refreshing. Most parents don't do this. Even more don't really know what they expect or want until you do something they don't like. That's always difficult to deal with.

+ Add a Comment