Overwhelmed

Jasel, BSN, RN · May 9, 2012

Every situation is different. I know the unofficial rule always seems to be "stick it out for a year, it will get better" but if things were as bad as you say they were, they were affecting you THAT badly, AND they have a high turn over rate then you probably made the right decision. If you were simply felt overworked and overwhelmed because you were questioning your competency as a nurse I'd recommend sticking it out, but there are hospitals and healthcare facilities out there that just aren't great working environments period and that's a fact.

And just let this experience show that not everyone is supportive, even fellow nurses. Hell I'm in an RN program (am an LPN) and just had another student call me up and it was basically me spending an hour reassuring her that she wasn't going to fail out of the program this semester. She called ME because her mother, her husband, and her children just don't get it and can't really sympathize. But we've taken the same tests, had the same clinical site, and the same clinical instructor so she knew I could relate to how she was feeling. My mother's a nurse and my father's a doctor, but I wouldn't necessarily expect them to be able to relate to my experience where I used to work just because we're all healthcare professionals. I usually vented to friends I made at work who understood completely where I was coming from.

But good luck with getting a new job. I don't think you made a mistake leaving.

SoundofMusic · May 9, 2012

Don't beat yourself up over this. Forget what the family says -- they love you, but they're really not with you there at that job, in your shoes, dealing with what you had to deal with.

I myself started in a position in an ICU as a new grad and it was way over my head. I spent a MISERABLE, HORRIBLE three months there, totally incompetent, treated like garbage, etc. It went from bad to worse and I ended up sobbing in the mgr's office, begging to be let out of it.

Shortly after, I started on another floor in another hospital. It was a med surg type place, newer unit. They were rough, but I joined w/ a new grad cohort that was also new and learning. I still cried, still slogged it out, still had so many bad days ...but at this next unit, I could piddle around a bit more and make mistakes w/o being totally reamed out by ridiculously critical ICU types. I did well, graduated from the preceptorship, and went on to spend 3 pretty successful years on the 2nd unit, made lots of friends, learned a lot and became a competent nurse.

Now I'm in a masters program and doing well. I feel confident I could handle most nursing positions, but likely will just graduate now in a year and become an APN.

So, don't give up. Find another place where they'll be a bit more gentle and let you make the routine mistakes. You HAVE to do that to learn .... sometimes in lesser acuity type places, you can do that. Try even going to a LTC facility to learn, if that is what it takes. Some of our best acute care nurses come from those environments. Then you can move on to that next level.

Life is long -- you can grow in this career at your own pace. You are a normal, sensitive, rational and intelligent human being -- and THAT is why you are having a tough time w/ nursing ...because nursing is just, well, it's hideous at times and there is a VERY steep learning curve that takes time. If I had to do it again, I would have INGORED THE HELL out of those evil bastard young eating nurses that upset me so .....they are just SO inconsequential ..... just hang with your patients -- and do the BEST job you can every day. Put one foot in front of the other and somedays, it's all about just showing up the next day in spite of the crap you went through the day before. Good luck and DON'T give up.

MsHen49 · May 9, 2012

Dear Overwhelmed,

Your experiences sound exactly like mine upon entering the workforce post nsg school. Fortunately my family was supportive during that period though. It IS overwhelming t times, and if your place of employment has a very high turnover rate, you probably did the right thing. Your license is a precious and expensive investment, and if a facility is cutting back on staff to the point you don't feel safe working there, i applaud your decision. I have a back injury now due to that same type of mgt style.

On the other hand, its gonna take more than 3 months at a facility to get your organizational skills up to par. They don't teach you how hard others in the profession can be on new nurses, and i would guess family members also in nsg can be the hardest to deal with, because family should have your back.

I will end with this: DON'T GIVE UP! While nsg can and usually is a backbreaking, thankless career, hearing a persons scatchy voice after being extubated, or a smile on the face of a person with a terminal illness, is one of the best rewards you will ever receive. Good Luck, and, if you don't mind me saying, God Bless

kittan40 · May 9, 2012

I, too, left my first nursing job after only 2 1/2 months. I was a new grad, and it was my first job in the medical field. I accepted the job, sure I could perform the duties, and besides, would they hire me if they didnt think I could do it?? It was at sub-acute hospital, and not really knowing what that meant, I went for it. I had 4 shifts of training, then was let loose, the only RN, overnight, on the weekends, to manage 16-20 patients of my own, along with the RN duties that the LPN was not allowed to do. There was absolutely no support from the facility, and the attitude pretty much was "why cant you do this..WE all do". My husband tried to be encouraging, but he had no idea what I was going through. The rest of my family just had no idea what i was going through, and was not able to understand. I tried to stick it out, but, like you, I ended up a wreck. This all happened over 3 years ago, and I now have two wonderful jobs at two terrific facilities, and am now really starting to feel like a real nurse, and gaining confidence in my abilities. I still get flashbacks to that first job and still feel a little traumatized at times. I know you are not the only one that is going through this, and I am sure you will find your niche:):) I still work 15 hour days from time to time...there are just days like that! Good luck to you!!

mikea1969 · May 9, 2012

No-one knows how it made you feel, other than yourself Butterfly - the job can be hard at the best of times. Experienced nurses can feel the pressure especially on the crappest of shifts. I struggled through my grad program and then moved into another facility where i went from being a junior RN to one of the most senior and struggled big time. I lasted 5 weeks and if i hadnt left i would have stressed myself into the ground. I got a job at a more supportive facility and feel much more confident and knowledgable now.

It takes a lot of strength to walk away from a job but it sounds like you did the right thing for you and thats all that matters. And youve said that youre the 4th person whos left - that says more about the facility than you personally.

Unfortunately there'll be people who wont support you and its a real shame they happen to be your family but DO NOT under any circumstance feel ashamed of looking after your health. Whats more important: a job that makes you feel the way you do or walking away and keeping your health and possibly even your life?

Keep looking and trying and you'll hopefully find something to suit and now youve had some experience to put on your CV. When you get an interview tell them the positives that you got out of that facility, there will be some if you look deep enough! Good Luck :)

butterfly_kisses9188 · May 9, 2012

You all have no idea how much you've helped me. I just wish I would've worked with nurses like you all!

anotherone, BSN, RN · May 9, 2012

I wanted to post on this board because I don't really feel like I am getting a lot of support or understanding in the non-nursing world. I recently quit my job at the hospital I worked at. I am technically a new grad and had only been working there for 3 months. I am getting a lot of criticism from some family members (one who is a nurse) about not hanging in there and about not trying hard enough. I was beyond miserable,overwhelmed,depressed,stressed,crying most nights and at home becuase of where I worked. There was a huge turnover rate & not ever enough nurses or help of any kind. I felt like I was stuck in a nightmare. Even though I know at times we all have to stay and catch up, it was becoming a pattern for me to be working 15 hour "nights" and I felt if I stayed my sanity would not be intact right now. I am the 4th person that I graduated with who left this particular hospital. Although I am feeling better, I am now looking for another job,which is stressful as well. Has anyone else ever had the problem of family not understanding what you go through as a nurse?I felt so ashamed of leaving and feeling like I wasn't tough enough or headstrong. Any replies would be appreciated.

Yes all the time. No one I know who is not a nurse understands. I do not have any nursing friends either, except for 1 person I talk to RARELY since school, and 1-2 nurses I get along with enough at work to complain/vent since we all started together. I didn't stay 15-16 hour nights unless I was mandated, which was often enough in the beginning. I do not know how you usually react to stress etc but I dealt with the crying everynight, couldn't sleep, dreading work, the first month I lost 10lbs from not eating because I was always nauseous/ too stressed out to eat, all i could think about was how we would be short, not have aides, not have a unit clerk, pts who should be in ICU or step down, discharges and admits, a couple of post ops with a ton of orders, pts who had q1 vitals, etc.... This lasted for a few months and it did get better because I adapted to the stress and because staffing actually impoved. Also I learned a lot and got faster at everything we usually do on our floor. Family and friends do not get it unless they are nurses or maybe PAs/DRs who work in a hospital.Or have very stressful jobs also. Forget it otherwise. People think nursing is handing out pills and flirting with the hot drs just like on tv.No clue what the responsibility of having 6 pts is like without an aide and most are incontient, dementia, etc.... Or worse a friend will have been admitted overnight for a simple surgery and was a 100% walkie talkie while there and thinks all pts are just like he/she was. Good luck..Oh and for good measure I relocted hours and hours away for this job and had no family or friends in the area, did not even know a single person. so that made everything even more isolating/stressful

sunspunk · May 9, 2012

I wanted to post on this board because I don't really feel like I am getting a lot of support or understanding in the non-nursing world. I recently quit my job at the hospital I worked at. I am technically a new grad and had only been working there for 3 months. I am getting a lot of criticism from some family members (one who is a nurse) about not hanging in there and about not trying hard enough. I was beyond miserable,overwhelmed,depressed,stressed,crying most nights and at home becuase of where I worked. There was a huge turnover rate & not ever enough nurses or help of any kind. I felt like I was stuck in a nightmare. Even though I know at times we all have to stay and catch up, it was becoming a pattern for me to be working 15 hour "nights" and I felt if I stayed my sanity would not be intact right now. I am the 4th person that I graduated with who left this particular hospital. Although I am feeling better, I am now looking for another job,which is stressful as well. Has anyone else ever had the problem of family not understanding what you go through as a nurse?I felt so ashamed of leaving and feeling like I wasn't tough enough or headstrong. Any replies would be appreciated.

I understand totally. I have been a nurse for 32 yrs bedside. I guess I DO love what I do, being that I am still in nursing. However, as far as what you are feeling and what the reality is.... it doesn't get better, only worse. Its just the sign of the times. Healing is a politically ravaged business/money making entity. And that reality may have been existing for eons, however, I was naive enough not notice. Medicine/Nursing is not what it used to be, and at the time, not what it was supposed to evolve into. The only happy people are the hospital CEO's who are making $$$ big time and, have never worked a day doing what nurses or residents do. How I wish that UNDERCOVER BOSS would happen!

imintrouble, BSN, RN · May 9, 2012

First of all, you did what you needed to do. You took care of you.

You placed yourself first. When your mental health was suffering you eliminated the source of your anxiety. Your job.

Now. Look at the above from the perspective of your family. It appears self centered. Selfish. Maybe even a little childish from the perspective of a parent.

I'm sure your husband sacrificed while you were in school. If you're like most of us, there just wasn't much money to go around for those years school consumed at least half your time. Your husband endured those lean times with you. With the goal of a nursing degree and job at the end of the rainbow. While YOU went to school, studied, and graduated, there were those who invested part of their life so that you could achieve your dream. As a parent of a grown child, I can assure you your parents wanted whatever you wanted more than you. I wonder if in their eyes you dropped the ball. After all those years of school, you finally reached the end. And then decided it wasn't what you wanted. Consider that from the viewpoint of your parents and your husband.

We live in a culture that for the most part expects us to sublimate our personal feelings for the good of the whole.

Anyway, I totally, totally understand what you did. It was the healthy thing to do...for you. Your family will come around. Just cut them some slack. Give them some time.`Be as understanding towards them, as you expect them to be towards you.

mindlor · May 9, 2012

I am an odd duck I reckon in that I don't give a rats patootie what anyone else thinks about me.

At the end of the day you made the choice that you felt was right for you.

Would they rather you stay in an unsafe environment and lose your license?

I for one commend you for jumping out of the pot of boiling water.....

Good Morning, Gil · May 9, 2012

I hear you. Unfortunately, there are places that are great to work, and there are places that are not as great to work. My first nursing job I only had 3 weeks of orientation, had never even done an admission in that time, maybe once or twice, and then got thrown into the shift that takes most of the admissions lol. It was really tough for me at first, and I cried sometimes going home, as well, b/c I was staying late, and didn't have 2 consecutive days off most of the time. I ended up sticking it out, doing well, and getting along with my coworkers well (but wasn't really part of "the crew" at first).

Moral of the story: I'm not saying that you shouldn't have quit b/c I really don't know the extent of your work environment, etc, but a first nursing job can be difficult if you're not in an ideal environment because nursing is tough. I will say, though, that I am a much more adaptable person and don't get stressed by much anymore. It was a lower acuity nursing job, but that comes with higher patient ratios, and I worked charge a lot (was actually charge nurse my first week off orientation with full load), so it was a valuable experience. I now work in an ICU, and had an excellent orientation, am not expected to work charge (since I am not at that level t be able to lead others yet), get to really know my patients (as far as labs, hx, etc), and so I really appreciate this job now even more than I would have if I walked right into it out of school.

My advice for your next job: stick it out regardless of how bad you think it is (unless it is unsafe). Even if the nurses you work with hate you or are not kind, stick it out (for at least a year past orientation). Then, you'll know if it's the job you really don't like or that you were just a "nervous new nurse." Otherwise, you will be looked at as a "job hopper."

Also, advice for new job: find one with a good orientation program and is supportive of new grads. You will know this when you interview. If you can't find a job that has that, well, then just get a decent job, make the best of it, and in no time, your job will be routine and you'll feel comfortable.

Also, you can do it. Nursing's tough, and no family member that's not a nurse will understand why you had to leave your other job.

barbbam · May 9, 2012

I wanted to post on this board because I don't really feel like I am getting a lot of support or understanding in the non-nursing world. I recently quit my job at the hospital I worked at. I am technically a new grad and had only been working there for 3 months. I am getting a lot of criticism from some family members (one who is a nurse) about not hanging in there and about not trying hard enough. I was beyond miserable,overwhelmed,depressed,stressed,crying most nights and at home becuase of where I worked. There was a huge turnover rate & not ever enough nurses or help of any kind. I felt like I was stuck in a nightmare. Even though I know at times we all have to stay and catch up, it was becoming a pattern for me to be working 15 hour "nights" and I felt if I stayed my sanity would not be intact right now. I am the 4th person that I graduated with who left this particular hospital. Although I am feeling better, I am now looking for another job,which is stressful as well. Has anyone else ever had the problem of family not understanding what you go through as a nurse?I felt so ashamed of leaving and feeling like I wasn't tough enough or headstrong. Any replies would be appreciated.

I suggest you try working in long term care to get experience and confidence before going back to the hospital. I also started out on a med surg unit for a year and I was overwhelemd every day but made it through. At the time i never considered a nursing home. Back then nursing homes were considered just for old people. Try to work on a skilled nursing unit and you will get the acute care experience with lots of IV'S, tube feedings, etc. and you build your nursing skills by having to be the eyes and ears for the Doctors. In the hospital the Doctors are always there and you just call them to come see the patient,but in a nursing home you are the one who has to assess whats going on with the patient and YOU inform the Doctor and most of them ask YOU what you need or want. Patients are admitted from the hopital just days after surgery to rehabilitate and need alot of nursing care. We see Lots of ortho but also open heart surgery. I loved working in the TCU and was always involved in 911 calls and codes. I did EKG'S and full head to toe patiend assessments daily for Medicare charting. It was a great experience and I loved it so much I never went back to the hospital. I been in LTC now for over 25 years. I ended up working as a RCM (resident care manager) and now I am a MDS Coordinator. I decided after about 15 years in the SNF unit to move to the long term care where the patients are more stable and less activity with admits and discharges. Hospital nursing isnt for every nurse. Just a suggestion. Hope it all works out for you.