Overweight!

[guest1163268]

I worked a 2nd shift recently and a pretty depressed female patient who tends to isolate was forced to come out of her room and she chose to sit in the dining room all by herself. The Dr is well monitored so I sat with her and she said something really illuminating to me. 

"Do they think that my image of myself is as a fat woman?" She said she isolated because of the way people looked at her and she knew that they were judging her. 

When you think about it, no one sees themselves as fat, just as a person. The body is just the vessel. Your mind doesn't grow fat to reflect the body, so what she said makes a lot of sense re how we should interact with overweight people. Interact with their mind and not their body. 

It's none of our business anyway if they are overweight! I have to think of an appropriate response to her, for when I next work there. 

[Davey Do]

On 5/6/2021 at 4:29 PM, Curious1997 said:

"Do they think that my image of myself is as a fat woman?"

I have to think of an appropriate response to her, for when I next work there. 

People make statements because they want to elicit positive reinforcement from another; external gratifaction.

Everybody likes to talk about themselves, so the best response is always to turn the conversation back to them: "What (or how) do you think of yourself?"

This allows the other individual to have control of the situation; it gives them a feeling of power.

The very best we can do in therapeutic conversation is to act as a verbal listener and as a guide. The very best therapists with whom I have worked guided the other to to find the answers within themselves, which is a type of internal gratifaction.

Most of us really don't want another to give us the answer. We want to know the answer. If we guide another to the answer which they already know, it's a win/win situation.

[guest1163268]

49 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

People make statements because they want to elicit positive reinforcement from another; external gratifaction.

Everybody likes to talk about themselves, so the best response is always to turn the conversation back to them: "What (or how) do you think of yourself?"

This allows the other individual to have control of the situation; it gives them a feeling of power.

The very best we can do in therapeutic conversation is to act as a verbal listener and as a guide. The very best therapists with whom I have worked guided the other to to find the answers within themselves, which is a type of internal gratifaction.

Most of us really don't want another to give us the answer. We want to know the answer. If we guide another to the answer which they already know, it's a win/win situation.

I just sat with her and listened and just mirrored her responses. I wasn't going to offer any advice or placations. 

She's so right though. I've heard many older people say that they feel about 30 or 40 in their minds when of course chronologically they are much older. Why couldn't she be a thin person in her mind? And treated as a person instead of someone overweight! 

It's pretty much the same thing with racism, sexism, ageism and obviously fat shaming. We are judging books by the cover instead of content. 

[londonflo]

On 5/6/2021 at 4:29 PM, Curious1997 said:

The Dr is well monitored so I sat with her and she said something really illuminating to me. 

OK I am old..old before the monitoring cameras. I am not criticizing but only wonder if the interaction with the patients and nurses has to where there are cameras, open Dining Room and Activity area. I do undrstand why there would be a limit on talking in their  private room. Just fill me in. please

[guest1163268]

27 minutes ago, londonflo said:

OK I am old..old before the monitoring cameras. I am not criticizing but only wonder if the interaction with the patients and nurses has to where there are cameras, open Dining Room and Activity area. I do undrstand why there would be a limit on talking in their  private room. Just fill me in. please

Terrified of being accused of improprieties so I always interact with female patients in a well observed area or with a witness present. Unfortunately, it's the price of doing business these days. 

[caliotter3]

39 minutes ago, Curious1997 said:

Terrified of being accused of improprieties so I always interact with female patients in a well observed area or with a witness present. Unfortunately, it's the price of doing business these days. 

I find it sad that male healthcare workers have to work under this circumstance.

[guest1163268]

44 minutes ago, caliotter3 said:

I find it sad that male healthcare workers have to work under this circumstance.

Unfortunately we have to. You have to be careful. Borderline females are very dangerous. As dangerous as sociopathic males, But at least with them I can deal with the violence. 

[caliotter3]

I would always try to ease the concerns of the LOL at the LTC facilities where I worked, vouching for the male CNA.  I told them the female assistant could not do all the work by herself and it would take longer for her to get there, but some of the ladies would not budge.  Can't say that I blame them, but it certainly made things difficult.

[Davey Do]

5 hours ago, Curious1997 said:

I just sat with her and listened and just mirrored her responses. I wasn't going to offer any advice or placations. 

Excellent, Curious.

5 hours ago, Curious1997 said:

She's so right though. I've heard many older people say that they feel about 30 or 40 in their minds when of course chronologically they are much older. Why couldn't she be a thin person in her mind? And treated as a person instead of someone overweight! 

In my mind, I'm 25  years old, punchy with gangly arms and legs when in reality, I'm not, on all accounts.

A few years ago at Wrongway, I watched a video replay of an intervention with an acting out patient security and I took down. I was surprised at the my upper body size in comparison with the youngbloods.

It's how we see ourselves which is ingrained in our consciousness, as I went on to believe myself as scrawny. Then, some time ago, I was going to make a humorous meme, pasting a tat on my arm, so I took a selfie.

Again, I was surprised.

As Minnie Pearl once said, "A pretty girl will look in the mirror and think how pretty she is. But a homely girl will look into the mirror and think how pretty she is".

Self image is a difficult thing to change, especially when we are our own worst critics.

 

[guest1163268]

Jeez, Davey, you have bigger guns than I have ???? and I am not backwards in that Dept. 

[Davey Do]

1 hour ago, Curious1997 said:

Jeez, Davey, you have bigger guns than I have

A couple of years ago, I was passing meds one night, leaned over the half door and a female tech sitting in the hall said, "nice guns". I just smiled and nodded.

Later, I asked my brother-in-arms, psych tech Rooty Payne, what she meant by that.

Rooty replied, "Dave, she was complimenting your biceps".

Oh. Gee. *blush* *blush*

[guest1163268]

1 hour ago, Davey Do said:

A couple of years ago, I was passing meds one night, leaned over the half door and a female tech sitting in the hall said, "nice guns". I just smiled and nodded.

Later, I asked my brother-in-arms, psych tech Rooty Payne, what she meant by that.

Rooty replied, "Dave, she was complimenting your biceps".

Oh. Gee. *blush* *blush*

Naughty Rooty, what was he doing admiring your guns ??????