Our Own Misconceptions

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Guys, please bear with me. Normally, I'd find the thread about public misconceptions pretty funny. I might even have my own additions. But this morning, I am just a bit bristly, and I find it really offensive. That's not your fault, it's mine. Like I said, my emotions are a bit raw this morning. See, we are taking my mother home from a rehab hospital (s/p fall with femur fracture), taking her off all of her meds (a list as long as my right arm, including lasix and digoxin) to allow her to pass peacefully. We will of course, put her back on her pain medicine (a story unto itself, I'll get there). This morning, I am a bit angry with the whole medical profession. OK if I vent?

First, my mother. 87 years old, severe short term memory impairment, hypertensive, hx of CHF, severe, painful osteoporosis, hx of lung cancer with lobectomy, recurrent lung cancer with metz. (Actually, there's lots more, that's just the worst of it.) And before I forget, chronic, severe pain for which she has been taking both oxycontin and percocet long term. Late last week, she fell and fractured her femur. My brother, who she lives with, called the ambulance. Seen at the hospital by an orthopod, who told my family that fractured femur repair was "resident surgery" and that mom would come through it "just fine!" (Know what two orthopods studying an EKG is called? A double blind and stupid study.) I asked prior to the surgery if anyone planned to discuss the surgery with anesthesia. "No, the surgeon said it would be OK, and I wouldn't know what to ask anyway!" (This from a brother with is a clinical Psychologist, married to a family practice DO who specializes in geriatric patients. In fact, that little brother, who happens to be a CRNA, would even have the cheek to ask is pretty annoying.) Of course, orthopedics gave my family the option of "taking mom home and letting her die of a broken leg," along the way not mentioning that she could be made comfortable, allowed to pass peacefully without surgical intervention that would likely as not kill her. But then, how could an orthopedic surgeon bill for that? "What's in it for me?"

She gets through the surgery, but upon emergence from anesthesia, is essentially unresponsive. This has been her pattern with surgery in the last few years, and it takes her several days to get over. Two days after surgery, she is discharged from the hospital, and sent to a rehab hospital. Day one at the rehab hospital, a physical therapist comes in to work with her. During the session, her sats drop (surprise!!). Let's get a chest x-ray!. Oooh, look! Spots on the lung! Is that metz, atelectisis, or maybe pneumonia? Don't know! Wonder if there is another CXR to compare it to? Maybe at the hospital?? Well, gee. We can't have anyone with spots on their x-ray at the rehab hospital!! But, that night, my sister the veterinarian finds mom pretty alert. The next morning (yesterday), she is alarmed to find mom far less alert, but far more agitated. A little investigation reveals why. The nurses at the rehab hospital, following protocol (orders?) took my mom off ALL her pain medications, and replaced them all (MS IV and IM, oxycontin, percocet) with Tylenol. Why? Well, that's what we do at the rehab hospital! (What, rehab ignores history and makes patients suffer because they can't be bothered with understanding chronic pain? They can't treat patients unless they patients can come off all pain meds?)

So, after this tragedy of errors and arrogance, after going through surgery, transfers, hideous pain, a lack of caring, and plain, blind stupidity, we are finally going to take my mom home to let her "go in peace." We could have done this a week ago, and saved her so much suffering. The thought of it brings tears back to my eyes.

And believe me, there is plenty of anger for my family as well. Since I am "just a nurse," I can't possibly know as much as my brilliant SIL who is a doctor. I can't be as smart as my genius brother, who is a psychologist I couldn't even be as knowledgeable as my pretty bright sister, who is a veterinarian. I'm "just a nurse." Nevermind that I've worked in ICU's. Nevermind that I am now a CRNA. I am just a servant of physicians, and couldn't possibly have any real knowledge.

So, maybe try to put yourself in the patient's shoes. Sure, some are a PIA. But others are not. Maybe that lady on the vent banging on her bed rail trying to get your attention is in pain. Or maybe she's frightened and just needs a little TLC. Maybe that patient you figure is just drug seeking really is in pain, and needs those meds to function on a day to day basis.

Sorry, this is rambling and venting. I know that. I also know you all to be pretty compassionate. We all need to vent about patients sometimes. This is just my turn to vent about how some people in the profession treat patients. Again, I apologize if I stepped on any toes. Thanks for listening, I really needed to vent. I'll be back after mom's funeral.

Kevin McHugh

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Kevin - so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent hurts even as an adult! You must take some comfort in knowing that her passing was peaceful.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Just got home last night. Mom passed away peacefully in her sleep on May 27th at 1:30 in the afternoon. She was under the care of hospice, and in no pain. I made it home in time to see her and spend a little time talking with her before she died. She was foggy and in and out for the last few days, but was able to remind us all of her love for us. She also kept her wonderful sense of humor to the end. On my arrival, she could no longer focus her eyes very well, so I had to tell her I was there, and who I was. She responded "Oh, my baby son. I always loved telling people you were my baby son!" (I'm 6'3" +) She even asked for (and got, I might add) a small gin and tonic the day before she died. She was never much of a drinker, but man she sure loved an occasional "G&T."

All my kids also made it to KC in time to see her before she passed, and her last words to my oldest daughter were perhaps the most telling of her character. Beckie (daughter) told my mother "I love you Grandma" to which my mother responded "I love you too, Beckie. You can never say that enough."

While her experiences with the rehab hospital can serve as a reminder to us all about remembering that patients are individuals with differing needs, I am satisfied that her passing was peaceful, without pain, and that she was surrounded by love. Thank you all for your kind words of support. They mean more to me than you could possibly know.

*************************************************

My sincere condolences on your loss to you and your family, Kevin. I am truly sorry. :o

Guys, please bear with me. Normally, I'd find the thread about public misconceptions pretty funny. I might even have my own additions. But this morning, I am just a bit bristly, and I find it really offensive. That's not your fault, it's mine. Like I said, my emotions are a bit raw this morning. See, we are taking my mother home from a rehab hospital (s/p fall with femur fracture), taking her off all of her meds (a list as long as my right arm, including lasix and digoxin) to allow her to pass peacefully. We will of course, put her back on her pain medicine (a story unto itself, I'll get there). This morning, I am a bit angry with the whole medical profession. OK if I vent?

First, my mother. 87 years old, severe short term memory impairment, hypertensive, hx of CHF, severe, painful osteoporosis, hx of lung cancer with lobectomy, recurrent lung cancer with metz. (Actually, there's lots more, that's just the worst of it.) And before I forget, chronic, severe pain for which she has been taking both oxycontin and percocet long term. Late last week, she fell and fractured her femur. My brother, who she lives with, called the ambulance. Seen at the hospital by an orthopod, who told my family that fractured femur repair was "resident surgery" and that mom would come through it "just fine!" (Know what two orthopods studying an EKG is called? A double blind and stupid study.) I asked prior to the surgery if anyone planned to discuss the surgery with anesthesia. "No, the surgeon said it would be OK, and I wouldn't know what to ask anyway!" (This from a brother with is a clinical Psychologist, married to a family practice DO who specializes in geriatric patients. In fact, that little brother, who happens to be a CRNA, would even have the cheek to ask is pretty annoying.) Of course, orthopedics gave my family the option of "taking mom home and letting her die of a broken leg," along the way not mentioning that she could be made comfortable, allowed to pass peacefully without surgical intervention that would likely as not kill her. But then, how could an orthopedic surgeon bill for that? "What's in it for me?"

She gets through the surgery, but upon emergence from anesthesia, is essentially unresponsive. This has been her pattern with surgery in the last few years, and it takes her several days to get over. Two days after surgery, she is discharged from the hospital, and sent to a rehab hospital. Day one at the rehab hospital, a physical therapist comes in to work with her. During the session, her sats drop (surprise!!). Let's get a chest x-ray!. Oooh, look! Spots on the lung! Is that metz, atelectisis, or maybe pneumonia? Don't know! Wonder if there is another CXR to compare it to? Maybe at the hospital?? Well, gee. We can't have anyone with spots on their x-ray at the rehab hospital!! But, that night, my sister the veterinarian finds mom pretty alert. The next morning (yesterday), she is alarmed to find mom far less alert, but far more agitated. A little investigation reveals why. The nurses at the rehab hospital, following protocol (orders?) took my mom off ALL her pain medications, and replaced them all (MS IV and IM, oxycontin, percocet) with Tylenol. Why? Well, that's what we do at the rehab hospital! (What, rehab ignores history and makes patients suffer because they can't be bothered with understanding chronic pain? They can't treat patients unless they patients can come off all pain meds?)

So, after this tragedy of errors and arrogance, after going through surgery, transfers, hideous pain, a lack of caring, and plain, blind stupidity, we are finally going to take my mom home to let her "go in peace." We could have done this a week ago, and saved her so much suffering. The thought of it brings tears back to my eyes.

And believe me, there is plenty of anger for my family as well. Since I am "just a nurse," I can't possibly know as much as my brilliant SIL who is a doctor. I can't be as smart as my genius brother, who is a psychologist I couldn't even be as knowledgeable as my pretty bright sister, who is a veterinarian. I'm "just a nurse." Nevermind that I've worked in ICU's. Nevermind that I am now a CRNA. I am just a servant of physicians, and couldn't possibly have any real knowledge.

So, maybe try to put yourself in the patient's shoes. Sure, some are a PIA. But others are not. Maybe that lady on the vent banging on her bed rail trying to get your attention is in pain. Or maybe she's frightened and just needs a little TLC. Maybe that patient you figure is just drug seeking really is in pain, and needs those meds to function on a day to day basis.

Sorry, this is rambling and venting. I know that. I also know you all to be pretty compassionate. We all need to vent about patients sometimes. This is just my turn to vent about how some people in the profession treat patients. Again, I apologize if I stepped on any toes. Thanks for listening, I really needed to vent. I'll be back after mom's funeral.

Kevin McHugh

I am so sorry to hear about your ordeal Kevin. It certainly brings it home when it is a family member that is suffering. I still have an absolute disbelief that the medical profession have such an inadequate ( I am generalising of course) knowledge of pain relief and lack of common sense!! I couldnt tell you how many times i have done battle with a doctor over sufficient pain relief and palliative care issues. What is the matter with these guys? Are they scared that pain relief will relax the patient so much they will die???? I believe that there should be a pain management/palliative care component added to their Doctors degree and make it a large part!!!

I find this issue to be a very emotional one and something that desperately needs to be addressed!!

Take care Kevin and loveto you and your mum

((((kevin))))

today is the 1st time i've read this thread.

what a nightmare you experienced in the hospital/rehab.

unfortunately i've heard md's talk about dcing all pain meds r/t risk of falling.

they don't see the patient or the big picture, but merely the liability.

when my mom was dx'd w/aml, she opted for in-pt.chemo treatment in spite of a poor prognosis.

i was in va w/her when on the 5th day of tx,she started c/o severe abd pain.

and just the opposite occured: they gave her mso4.

i questioned the doctor, asking if she needed a ct scan/ultrasound/xray.

he dismissed it as a se from the chemo.

i persisted and on the 7th day, she got an abd ultrasound which showed mass inflammation of her sm and lg bowel.

with her wbc under 10, her intestines were massively infected, had peritonitis, bil pneumonia and was intubated.

her pain was poorly managed in the icu- they feared her bp would bottom out (she was on a dopamine drip) and it would depress her respirations (she was on a ventilator for crying out loud!!!!)

so i fought tooth and nail to get her pain under control and they met me half-way by applying a fentanyl patch w/prn iv ativan.

when i gave her mouth care (she was unconscioius), her eyebrows would knit together-she still wasn't comfortable.

then she took a turn for the worse: temp 104 and massive third spacing with her vasculature completely collapsing.

i told my mom's dh it was time to stop all treatments.

since mom's biggest fear in life was dying, in the event she awoke and learned she was dying, i knew it was time.

the oncs disagreed with me and wanted to wait and see what happened.

i very abrasively told the both of them "wait and see what???? to see if she wakes up and learns she only has a matter of days???" one of the oncs agreed as he admitted it was very unlikely she would pull out of this. the other onc rudely stated i was not the poa and had no say. my stepdad was overly distraught and authorized me to make the medical decisions; me, just a nurse. i discussed it w/my siblings and explained everything in layman's words so they could understand my decision.

my stepdad agreed w/me and authorized all treatments stopped.

then they finally started a mso4 drip, extubated her and stopped all other txs, and she peacefully died in under an hour. this was in december.

i'll never regret my decision as you should never regret yours.

don't ever be afraid to fight for what you believe in.

as many of us understand these losses, i warmly extend my heartfelt condolences to you and yours.

with peace,

leslie

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