Other nurse moms how am i going to do this? My heart hurts!

Ashes172, BSN, RN · Jul 12, 2013

I know your little one is the center of your world, just be cautious of only working weekends and never getting time to spend with your husband and with both your husband and your daughter together. You may need to get child care 2 days a week. But make your husband a priority too, not going to do you or your daughter much good if the relationship with your husband isn't given some priority.

RNperdiem, RN · Jul 12, 2013

Nursing is a female dominated profession, and it is full of mothers, so you have plenty of company.

Try to focus on what you will gain. Work full-time for a year and you will gain skills, confidence, good money to support your family(especially if you have weekend and night shift differentials) and a kind of social currency our society gives to people who work in interesting jobs.

If your dream job is in OB, you are now in a better position to make connections to get you there.

PaxRN · Jul 12, 2013

I feel your pain. I was a SAHM for 12 yrs before I started working full time as an RN. Two yrs prior were spent in nursing school, but I was still present for all the "big things." My kids are all in school, but I still have some guilt about not being there for everything. What makes me feel better is knowing that what I am doing is worthwhile and I am making some sort of positive contribution. Also, I really like getting an identity other than "Mom." Try to look at the upside to your situation: experience, money, adult relationships. You need acute care experience before you do prn safely so maybe give yourself a timeline to make it less permanent in your mind.

And when your home with your kid, love the snot right outta her! Good luck to you!

nrsang97, BSN, RN · Jul 12, 2013

I did the weekend thing and it was rough. Never being able to go to family functions or enjoy time off and spend with friends who only work M-F 9-5. I work nights now and work at least 2 in a row then a few days off and one on. Some would rather do their three in a row. It all depends on how you do with nights. I have done 3 in a row and working Sunday, Monday, and Friday nights. It worked out better for child care for me that way.

Stacey30 · Jul 12, 2013

If this is your first RN job in the hospital then it's unlikely that they'll let you do weekends only at first, as you lack the critical thinking skills necessary for the job. Traumas are most likely to occur on off-shifts, so it can be difficult for a preceptor to focus on a critically ill or injured patient while trying to teach you at the same time. My employer requires you to work for a full year before becoming eligible for the weekend program, you need to develop those critical thinking skills and be able to work with little to no supervision.

RN&mom · Jul 12, 2013

I have to agree with ashes172. Being an RN is a stressful job and you want to make sure you make time for your marriage (alone time and family time). It will be hard at first working nights, it was for me, but I loved the freedom it gave me to go to any and all functions with my kids/husband and I would schedule my sleep around those. I agree with your statement about dinner time together, its great you will still have that!

I think three 12 hr shifts in a row for now would probably be too much, remember you are asking your body to completely redo its sleep/wake cycle on top of learning a lot of new stuff. ER is a whole different world, especially at night... I'd stick with two on then 1 more later in the week. It's not worth being miserable or worse, being so tired you make a mistake. Good luck to you! I don't miss nights :)

allnurses Guide · Jul 12, 2013

I feel your pain.

Being a stay at home mom is not easy but it is such a valuable thing to your children!

The lack of sleep (because even though the kids are napping doesn't mean you get to!) and hard work of maintaining a household (because that is your job while your spouse brings home the bacon) is stressful, but soooo worth it so that you can be at home with the kids-- teaching them, leading by example and nurturing them.

But when times get rough, you do what you gotta do.

I was still a CNA at the time, so my situation was a bit different, but I was able to avoid long hours and holidays by working for myself, setting my own price and hours as a personal caregiver to clients who were in nursing homes, but needed extra attention.

Question: does your job have to be in a hospital?

Maybe you have other options you haven't considered?

What about school nursing?

Can striving for your dream job wait a bit?

I don't really have the best advice, but I wish you luck in balancing work and being a mother.

It gets better when the kids are older...

You already set a solid foundation in their upbringing and they understand why you have to work.

I'm sure you'll work it out.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Jul 12, 2013

Oh honey....I know your pain...when my kids were little I worked nights.....they never knew Mommy left the house and came home. They knew I was a nurse but it never made real sense to them because I was always there for them. Take the job...you also need to let your daughter see that you can be a Mommy AND have a fulfilling career. Weekends are good but I will tell you 3 12 hour shifts in a row are TOUGH...you eat and sleep period. I liked to break them up I would work Sunday, Wednesday, Friday or Monday, Thursday, Saturday. Your hubby will HAVE to be on board and understand that he will have to pitch in. Now that they are teenagers.....I still worked nights becasue leaving 2 teens home with a pool and friends is a recipe for disaster....get in the door get your feet wet.

Good Luck!

kguill975, MSN, APRN, NP · Jul 12, 2013

It's not that bad. I would recommend breaking up the 3 days, though. Little ones need patience, and it's too hard to have that special time, when you're exhausted. I do recommend a MDO 2 days a week for your baby, she'll love the socialization, and you'll have time to get a massage or mani/pedi. Having a full-time nursing position is stressful, so be good to yourself. Also, look into getting someone to help around the house, I pay $75 a week, and it is TOTALLY worth it. The most I do is cook and clean the dishes daily, and wash 1-2 times a week. My little lady vacuums, cleans the entire house, and washes all laundry, including linen, on the one afternoon a week, that she's here. Like I said, it's worth it! You may find that you like the additional income, and continue full-time in your OB spot. Good Luck!

mommynurse25 · Jul 13, 2013

Thank you for the feed back. I really appreciate it. Im a night owl I stay up all night anyways idk why lol I know it will be more exhausting since id be doing physical and mental work. ive talked to my husband about all this and trying to figure out a schedule and he thinks weekends would work best for our family right now.. im trying to think this is TEMPORARY. :) but it is every other weekend anyways my husband works nights throughout the week hes off on the weekends...childcare. I don't like it myself but gotta do what we gotta do for now. if im not able to do just weekends idk like which days to pick out because I don't want to work like 5 days in a row or anything lol I was trying to think of different ways to do it. I don't have many options hard to get a job even lol so I figure if I do this awhile then I can do whatever I want with the ER on my resume.