OP babies=more pain?

AmberL&D/RN · Nov 16, 2003

I am sorry about you r experience. When I had my son I pushed with for 3 hours being OP. He was definately not coming. After a manual rotation he was born 30 minutes later. In the process I broke my tailbone. (all without an epidural). I remember telling my nurse if the pain in my back would just ease up I would be OK. I too was told I wasn't pushing effectively. Since that is my only birth I couldn't tell you if it is more painful, I just know it hurt like hell.

As for the nurse not allowing you to hold her hand, I don't know. Many times I have allowed a patient to hold my hand during a contraction only to find them with a death grip feeling like she was about to break all my fingers and not letting go. I have literally been brought to my knees by a patient squeezing so hard. Maybe she didn't want to expose herself to the possibility of that. I know I think twice before I give a patient my hand to squeeze. I encourage other forms of expression of pain. Squeezing doesn't make the pain of the contraction any better and IT HURTS whoever is one the other side of that squeeze.

Hope this gives alittle insight into her unwillingness to let you squeeze her fingers. It probbly wasn't that she was trying to be unsupportive, she maybe just likes the use of her hands! LOL

SmilingBluEyes · Nov 16, 2003

I am sorry for your painful experience. My answer as a NURSE and MOTHER is: YES I think OP presentations in labor and delivery can be excrutiating. It's definately harder to deliver a baby in such position...for mom and infant.

I am an L and D nurse AND mom who had a son delivered OP after 3 hours of pushing and several applications of forceps to FINALLY get him out. I wanted to scream, it took so long. OUCH yes it hurt. But you can imagine why: the baby's boniest part of his/her head (forehead), is banging over and over again against the bony and unforgiving pubic bone of your pelvis. The head does NOT accomodate to birth in this position, unlike in the more favorable OA positions.

YES IT HURTS HURTS HURTS......and often OP babies also cause miserable BACK pain in labor. I know this first hand and from several years' experience as a nurse, seeing my patients endure this. As for myself, I sustained a 3rd degree extension beyond my episiotomy to add to the pain. I could barely walk for about 2 days after delivery. It hurt to pee. It hurt to touch. It just plain hurt. And my BACK oh my, I can't even tell you how that hurt after having my son. I felt like someone had beaten me UP from head to toe. Yes it was truly much more painful than delivery of my daughter, who was a csection delivery....breech. Surgical deliveries are PAINFUL as heck, but THE OP ONE WAS BY FAR WORSE TO ME. Seems NEITHER of my kids wanted to come out the "right" way...lol....anyhow....

I have to say I am appalled and ashamed at what appears to be a horrendous lack of sympathy and kindness you experienced at the hands of your nurses. But, please, let me put another spin on it, if I may: It could be, too, that you were VERY sensitive due to the difficult experience of this birth. Pain can really change our perceptions and people who are being "professional and efficient" as nurses can be perceived as VERY rude and disrespectful to their vulnerable patients. I work with such nurses and was in the care of some, too, who seemed VERY indifferent and gruff. Oh yes, Having been "on both sides of the sheets", I can see where you are coming from. MY hospitalization experiences have truly made me MUCH more empathetic and kind toward those women who depend on me to deliver safe, kind and compassionate care. I try to focus on those who DID well by me and emulate their care when working as a nurse myself. Please let me say I am IN NO WAY belittling your feelings and perceptions. I am just offering another way to look at it. COULD be your nurses WERE mean and indifferent as you say. THAT is NOT unheard-of, everyone knows.

Yes, you are ENTITLED to your feelings and have the RIGHT to be angry. But I am grateful all seems to be OK with you now and I hope you and your baby are HEALTHY and HAPPY. Try to remember the positives regarding each of your birth experiences, if you can. It can mitigate some of the bad memories and help you cope better with how you feel. I wish you the best! Vent to me anytime! :kiss

SmilingBluEyes · Nov 16, 2003

Here is somewhere you can go to vent your frustrations at your negative birth experience: (I am NOT saying you are not welcome to here, just offering you another place where people have had similar difficult situations and express their disappointment and anger):

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppnegbirth

This really is a SAFE place you can go and learn you are NOT alone nor are your feelings invalid. I hope it helps you. Take care and again, I am sorry.

AlaskaKat · Nov 17, 2003

ABSOLUTELY! OP babies are far more painful, in my experience as a L&D nurse and a mom who had one OP and one not...

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Nov 17, 2003

I was told in nursing school not to give a laboring mother your hand because she WILL break your fingers without realising it. That's never happened to me but I have been pulled down on the bed by the scruff of my neck :) It's rough trying to watch the moniter, IV pumps, and the doc with your head shoved in the pillow as you can well imagine. I also wonder that since you delivered in 45 minutes if possibly she was doing something that had to be done before the baby came out and didn't mean to brush you off. If it was a brush off it was extremely rude and inexcusable.

When a woman is pushing I often give her feedback when I see the baby's head move down and when I don't. Usually she gets to know what type of push is working for her and what is wasting energy. But always we let her know that she is working hard and doing a good job- even if the baby doesn't budge. I've heard lots of OB staff refer to "ineffective pushing" when the baby head isn't moving, but not meant to indicate that mom isn't working. I've never heard about not pushing and letting the baby move down with OP presentations, but obviously it worked. OB/GYNs get the big bucks because they know that stuff.

I hope this gives you some idea as to the possibilities. We often say and do things in the hospital that make perfect sense to us, but the family sees something totally different. But uncaring nurses and doctors do exist. It's too bad you got bad experiences when labor is supposed to be joyful. Have you thought about changing practitioners or going to a different hospital?

sbic56, BSN, RN · Nov 17, 2003

ChristyE

Wow...that site link SBE gave you looks like a great resource. I had a horrendous birth experience with my first child as he was OP, back labor like crazy; I went nuts. I still have unresolved anger and blamed the nurses, as well as the doctor for my pain. I am an OB nurse now and perhaps am more empathetic toward extreme pain, than I might have been, having gone through it myself. Still, I occasionally sense that the laboring mom did not appreciate my presence. It makes me realize that there is not always a connection between the patient and the nurse. Are you mourning what you thought was going to be a different experience? There is alot to understanding these memories!

The bright side is I knowing you can endure anything now! A labor like you experienced, is probably the hardest thing you'll ever go through. (At least that's how my labor made me feel.):kiss

dawngloves, BSN, RN · Nov 17, 2003

(((ChristyE))) That must have been hard! What an ordeal!

Just wanted to chime in and give a thumbs up the the board at I Village. I got great support there after I had a negative birth expereince.

BETSRN · Nov 17, 2003

I am sorry for your unpleasant experience. YES, OP babies are far more painful and usually take a lot longer to come on down because of their position. They are pushing against your coccyx in a way that a baby in the anterior position does not.The nurses were also correct about epidural medication not usually taking away that pelvic and perineal pressure. As to why the nurse did not help you.......well it sounds to me as if she has little to no labor support skills and that she is used to working with women who are pretty comfortable with epidurals. A nurse has to work much harder to do labor support on an unmedicated woman. She doesn't sound like a very sensitive or empathetic nurse. Sadly, there are a lot of nurses out there in many disciplines that are that way. I am not excusing her: just stating a fact. If I were you, I would make sure you fill out and return your patient satisfaction survey and site the lack of skill on the nurses's part. Both that nurse and her manager have to be accountable (ibn part) for the experiences that you had.

Betsy RNC (LDRP)

CT

mother/babyRN, RN · Nov 17, 2003

I am so sorry for your horrific experience....Really sad and upset too....As far as holding of the hands go, there is certainly a way to do it that won't cause broken bones or trauma..Thumb to thumb....And YES YES YES it hurts more.. Sounds like the people who "Cared " for you did nothing to validate your feelings. I apologize on behalf of them...Come see me...I give warmed massages to back, hands and feet and HONOR all you do! Again, I am so sorry for that experience... Hope you won't judge all of us by that...

ChristyE · Nov 17, 2003

I am just overwhelmed by the your responses. I keep reading them over and over. Thank you.

I just wanted someone in authority (my OB, a nurse) to validate my experience, and you all have done that. These two births have left me feeling so defeated, like I didn't have the strength that I should have. Although my husband has been very supportive, I wanted someone who KNOWS to say, "Wow. Well done. Yes, that was REALLY hard. You did a good job."

SmilingBluEyes, thank you for the link. One thing good thing about reading their stories is that it makes me remember that things could have been worse for me. Maybe I'll think about posting there for some additional moral support.

Thank you all too for your thoughts about the nurse not wanting to hold my hand. I did think about the possibility of her not wanting to get hurt (my husband's hand was scratched terribly afterwards). I guess it was just the way she and the other nurses treated me in general that made me feel so badly. Not one word of encouragement (I am not exaggerating); just the laughing about my refusal of IV drugs and their indifferent manner. My husband said, "Maybe they just get jaded after seeing so many women in pain." I know that's possible. I guess if I hadn't already had the difficult delivery with my third child, I might have been able to handle it better.

Mother/Baby Rn...I only wish I could have had you as my nurse! Sounds like heaven! And I would never judge all OB nurses by this. I know that I just had a bit of bad luck.

I cannot thank you all enough for taking the time to comfort a stranger. Your kindness brings tears to my eyes. I wish I could have had any one of you at my deliveries, but it helps immensely now to hear that I wasn't imagining how painful it was.

I am printing out all your messages and will return to them when I need encouragement. For the first time in two years, I feel like I might be able to put all this sadness and self-doubt behind me.

Thank you so very much.

Sincerely,

Christy

mother/babyRN, RN · Nov 18, 2003

You're so welcome! Just remember that one 12 hour labor has the energy expendiature of two marathons and THEN we expect you to push! When you are direct OP it is that much more difficult...Just "talk" to us any time you need to...{{{}}}