ChristyE

I am just overwhelmed by the your responses. I keep reading them over and over. Thank you. I just wanted someone in authority (my OB, a nurse) to validate my experience, and you all have done that. These two births have left me feeling so defeated, like I didn't have the strength that I should have. Although my husband has been very supportive, I wanted someone who KNOWS to say, "Wow. Well done. Yes, that was REALLY hard. You did a good job." SmilingBluEyes, thank you for the link. One thing good thing about reading their stories is that it makes me remember that things could have been worse for me. Maybe I'll think about posting there for some additional moral support. Thank you all too for your thoughts about the nurse not wanting to hold my hand. I did think about the possibility of her not wanting to get hurt (my husband's hand was scratched terribly afterwards). I guess it was just the way she and the other nurses treated me in general that made me feel so badly. Not one word of encouragement (I am not exaggerating); just the laughing about my refusal of IV drugs and their indifferent manner. My husband said, "Maybe they just get jaded after seeing so many women in pain." I know that's possible. I guess if I hadn't already had the difficult delivery with my third child, I might have been able to handle it better. Mother/Baby Rn...I only wish I could have had you as my nurse! Sounds like heaven! And I would never judge all OB nurses by this. I know that I just had a bit of bad luck. I cannot thank you all enough for taking the time to comfort a stranger. Your kindness brings tears to my eyes. I wish I could have had any one of you at my deliveries, but it helps immensely now to hear that I wasn't imagining how painful it was. I am printing out all your messages and will return to them when I need encouragement. For the first time in two years, I feel like I might be able to put all this sadness and self-doubt behind me. Thank you so very much. Sincerely, Christy

Since I am not a nurse, I ask you to forgive my intrusion onto your board, but this is not something I feel like I can discuss with my OB or anyone. No one seems to understand. A month ago, I gave birth to my fourth child. My last two babies have been born straight OP (the third baby with an epidural, the fourth with no medication). Even though I did deliver my second child without medication, I can't seem to get over the memories of the pain I felt with these last two births. In my third birth, I had an epidural and yet I still experienced excruciating pain in my bottom (no one knew baby was OP yet). I kept telling the nurse that I was hurting more than I ever did with my natural second birth, and all she did was keep treating me like I was weak of character, saying things like "an epidural doesn't always take away ALL the pain" and "an epidural doesn't help with the nerves in that area". Once I was complete, the nurse had me push and then began to chide me for pushing ineffectively (even though I had pushed two babies out before with no problem!). After thirty minutes, she brought in another nurse and they started discussing the possibility of an OP presentation. Fortunately my OB came in at that time and said, "Leave her alone. An OP baby needs to come down on its own." Twenty minutes later, the baby did just that and was quickly born. When the baby emerged straight OP, everyone in the room went, "Ah ha! No wonder you were hurting so badly!" I felt like hitting all of them. With this last birth, the baby was born 45 minutes from the time I arrived at the hospital, leaving no time for an epidural. The nurses laughed at me among themselves when I refused IV drugs (I just don't like feeling dopey.). During one contraction, my husband couldn't hold my hand because he was phoning his parents and I reached for the nurse for support. She wouldn't hold my hand--she recoiled as if I had leprosy--and only allowed me hold on to her jacket. I was hurting desperately, and they again made me feel like I just wasn't handling it well. When my daughter was then born (to everyone's surprise) straight OP, everyone got that same look on their face, almost like, "Oh. I guess she really was hurting." During both of these labors, I felt like I kept good control of myself physically and emotionally. In other words, it was clear that I was hurting, but I didn't climb the walls and I wasn't what I consider whiny or "difficult". I suppose my questions are: 1) Are OP babies especially painful? 2) Why didn't the nurses support me? Why did they make me feel like I was making a big deal out of nothing? Thanks so much for your help. Maybe I just needed to vent about this. I know that childbirth is supposed to be painful. I wasn't looking for some "romantic" childbirth experience--just some compassion and help through the pain. I don't know why I can't seem to get over this. Sincerely, Christy