any OB nurse worked with a gay nurse who has started to transtion into a female nurse

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

I know this a weird question to ask but I have been gay all my life and in the last few months I have come to find my true self and I'm going to start hormones soon and start living as " Amber " that mean dressing as her full time at work and my everyday life I have let everyone on my unit know what's going on and I have had a few of the girls on the unit go to my NM and say they will not work beside me... I love being a OB nurse but I'm sacred no one will work with me and worried that once I start work as "Amber" I'm going to be forced outta my job. Need some advice any one out there can help?

Up Vote Up Vote ×

While only a student nurse (but have worked professionally in other fields for twenty years), I can say wholeheartedly that I would have no problem working with you as long as you knew your stuff. Your personal choice to enrich your happiness bears no weight on my working relationship with you.

While nothing even remotely similar, I've received the "look" when I tell people I'm becoming a nurse as a guy. I always found it puzzling what actually gender played in a professional experience (male, female, or any transition thereof). There are competent people of both sexes...

As for the other girls on your unit -- there are always going to be haters and people that just want to fit other people into their little "box". I say shrug 'em off and don't let them get you down!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Leadership, Psych, HomeCare, Amb. Care.

Hi Amber,

You're working in a setting where loose fitting gender neutral scrubs are the norm. After starting your transition, other than the name change, physical changes will not be immediately visible to your co-workers.

I'd suggest working with your therapist to develop a timetable both at work, and in your personal life, regarding using your new name, makeup, jewelry, etc

In terms of discrimination, you'd be legally protected if you were in Chicago, but I don't know what the law is in NM. Much of the opposition will come from ignorance. Is there an advocacy group you can contact that can assist you in providing education on both a unit, and on an institutional level?

Good luck in your journey

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I don't have any advice, but I did want to say you are very courageous, Amber, and I wish you nothing but good luck on your journey! **hugs**

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Case Management, ICU, Telemetry.

You have no control over how the other nurses will treat you.

All that you can do is find solidarity within yourself, love yourself and love others, even the ones who hate you. Ignore them.

Forgive them and love them not because they deserve it but because you deserve peace. :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pedi.

IMO, it's up to the NM to tell them they don't have a choice. In my state, you'd also be protected.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

What you're doing is very courageous, so I know you'll have the fortitude to deal with those who would disrespect you. Remember, how your colleagues treat you says much more about THEM than it does about YOU.

Personally, I don't care about your gender or sexual preferences as long as you're comfortable with yourself and happy with your choices. But if you and I were working night shifts together, I'd love to hear all about your journey. Decide how much you're comfortable sharing, and figure out a tactful way to say when you're not comfortable sharing.

Of course you'll behave professionally at all times, both with your patients and with your colleagues. I'm guessing that your job is safe and your colleagues will come around. There may be some who cannot deal with your transition, but again, that's more about them than about you.

I wish you the best of luck!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pediatrics, High-Risk L&D, Antepartum, L.

They won't work beside you? I hope the NM directs them to the resignation policy!

I recently left L&D and I don't care what gender are or were or working on becoming...work hard and do a good job and that's what matters.

I hope you have the support you deserve from your NM.

Best of luck to you...Amber!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pain, critical care, administration, med.

about 10 yea ago I worked with a nurse who was in your situation. The issue was the hospital received complaints from patients who actually questioned the true sex of the nurse. They released them from their contract stating that the nurses license said one thing and they were representing the self another way. I think in the general floors there are less issues then in a area that is generally female. As a nurse I don't care but the issue could be the patient. I wish you the best!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thank you everyone I have started crying I can't believe that all of you support me as a nurse thank you thank you very much I'm so speechless right now ty ty

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pediatrics, High-Risk L&D, Antepartum, L.
Thank you everyone I have started crying I can't believe that all of you support me as a nurse thank you thank you very much I'm so speechless right now ty ty

I just hope you get this support at work...you deserve it. Good luck to you and I hope that your transition is an easy one.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

My sister is a mental health therapist that works with TG clients. The one thing that stands out from everything that she has said that applies to you is this: If they are looking for a way to can you, they will use the conflict between the name you represent yourself as vs. the name on your ID and technical/professional license. Get everything in writing, sign a sworn affadavit that "A Gay Male Nurse" is one and the same as "Amber" and keep the BON informed. Change your nursing license the same day you change your driver's license.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment