Funny OB things people say - page 6

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I'm sure we all have stories about patients requesting their "epidermal" and the likes of that, let's share some here. Now, while I never encourage laughing at or making fun of patients, this is a... Read More

Jul 5, '08
Occupation: Peri-Operative RN Specialty: 10 year(s) of experience in PERI OPERATIVE ; From: US ; Joined: Aug '04; Posts: 215; Likes: 226

I was doing pericare for a fresh c-section the other day and she turns to me and asked if her "toot" was clean.

:chuckle
Jul 5, '08
Joined: May '08; Posts: 7; Likes: 1

:chuckleI had a father of a baby who was very concerned about how his unborn child was going to breath after the membranes were ruptured....he said " well like when a fish is out of water they can't breath"...I couldn't help but giggle and ask him where his baby's gills were located...
Jul 6, '08
Joined: Nov '07; Posts: 108; Likes: 182

Quote from gemininurse71

Several pts/SO/family members wonder how the baby will come out if the foley cath is inserted. I guess many people don't realize there are more than one opening.

Alison, RN L&D

I could not convince my old roommate that they were separate openings! She said she was sure hers were all the same hole. :rofl The funny thing is, I heard that she's a nurse now. Hopefully she's got it all straight now!
Jul 8, '08
Occupation: Cardiac RN, BSN Specialty: 1 year(s) of experience in OB, Cardiac ; From: US ; Joined: Feb '05; Posts: 378; Likes: 24

on ob yesterday, I had my pt sit in a wheelchair to be taken to her car. I put the baby on her lap & she began fumbling around....she asked where the seat belt was.....lol!
Aug 25, '08
Joined: May '08; Posts: 19; Likes: 17

What? I hear this all the time!
Aug 25, '08
Occupation: L&D Joined: Aug '08; Posts: 38; Likes: 17

you know, i was actually watching one of those "baby" shows on discovery health and the narrator referred to an induction as an "inducement!"
Aug 27, '08
Specialty: obstetrics(high risk antepartum, L/D,etc ; Joined: Mar '02; Posts: 241; Likes: 62

As an OB nurse who is retired for MANY--TOO MANY years, thank you for all the laughs.

I would like to add "upper dermal" to the list. I'm sure there are many others I could add, but my memory is not what it used to be. :chuckle:chuckle
Aug 28, '08
Joined: Nov '07; Posts: 10; Likes: 1

Another nurses' pt noted, after a non-epidural delivery, that "my monkey (vaginal area) ain't never hurt like that!!!"

Pt in active labor having variable decels after AROM and FSE placement , pt's SO stated "open your legs and let the baby breathe!!!"

Pt comes in for induction and stated she's "here to be castrated."

Antepartal pt notes that she has been doing her "fecal movement counts."

And, of course, the cocaine addict who asks if an epidural will "hurt my baby.":chuckle
Sep 1, '08
Occupation: Labor and Delivery RNC Specialty: L&D, OR, Med/Surg ; Joined: Aug '08; Posts: 18; Likes: 33

I always ask my patients if they have any special requests (like does dad want to cut the cord, etc). The day before yesterday I had a patients husband say "we just don't want you to use your triceps". I looked at the patient and looked at her husband and said excuse me? I was clueless, so then he said "we have read a lot of bad things about triceps, you know those things the doctor uses to pull the baby out."

Duh...he meant forceps!
Sep 14, '08
Occupation: L&D Nurse Specialty: L & D nurse! ; Joined: Mar '06; Posts: 104; Likes: 10

I work in L&D and I had a 19 yo pt say the following when the doctor walked up to her bed to do a SVE (Sterile Vaginal Exam). She looked at me and asked "what is he going to do?" I said "he is going to examine you". She said "ooohhh, but his fingers are sooo big".

I almost died! I had to turn away to laugh silently. I was thinking to myself "What was in there in the first place to get you pregnant?". hahahahahaha :chuckle
Sep 14, '08
Occupation: L&D Nurse Specialty: L & D nurse! ; Joined: Mar '06; Posts: 104; Likes: 10

I was in the L&D Triage the other day. I asked the pt what brought her there. She said " I have VIOLENT hiccups every 2 minutes". I don't know how I didn't laugh in her face. :chuckle
Sep 15, '08
Joined: Jun '08; Posts: 23; Likes: 6

We had a couple that delivered a few days ago; when the nurse put the hat on the dad immediately pulled it up so it wasn't covering baby's ears. She adjusted it again to cover the ears. He very innocently said "don't cover up his ears like that he can't breathe!" To think of this guy raising a baby.....

In a different delivery I was in the pt wanted to see her progress pushing in the mirror. When I wheeled the mirror in she says "wow! that's an ugly crotch!" i laughed and said "they all are, that's why they're not in a place for everyone to see" Her family then started adding in...."could you imagine if it was like on the side of your face"....."or on your forearm" (as she extends her hand and says 'nice to meet you'..... We were laughing so hard I was crying as the baby is crowning.

Times like this keep me going....
Sep 19, '08
Occupation: RN Specialty: 6 year(s) of experience in Open Heart ICU ; From: US ; Joined: Jan '08; Posts: 94; Likes: 91

I am a cardiac nurse, but we had a rather large young lady - (probably 25?) came in with "chest pain"- imagine when they figured out she was in labor- the best part was- that when they were examining her- which i haven't seen in quite a while- so i decide to take a look see- she had a tattoo of a skittles that went over her pubic area that read---get this

"TASTE THE RAINBOW" above it!!

heehee- had to laugh

Last edit by **LaurelRN on Sep 19, '08

Funny OB things people say - page 6

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