Nursing School - 30 - Starting a family HELP

Deredain · Mar 16, 2012

I would look at the job market in your area before you quit your current job. How many jobs are available? How many are available for new grads (less I'm sure) and how much do they pay? In this economy, I would be hard pressed to quit a 90k a year job.

I am working full time and doing nursing school at night. I'm preparing for nursing as my second career, but I plan on retiring from my job with early retirement so my salary would be higher as a nurse + pension than just my current job.

No one can tell you which way to go in this decision. You and your husband have to set priorities. What is more important? Nursing degree, children or making the 90k you make now?

Best of Luck!

Hello all:
I am newly married, working in San Francisco sitting behind a desk, pushing papers, and make 90k annually. I am bored to death with my job and have been working in the same profession for 10 years.
I already have my college degree in Liberal Studies and made the decision to go back to school to become a nurse about a year and a half ago. Working 8 - 5 Monday through Friday and taking night science classes has been tough. Now the time has come where I am on the cusp of being accepted into an accelerated one (1) year BSN program. I know that private colleges are sometimes frowned upon due to the amount of money spend on an education, but here is my dilemma:
I plan on starting a family AFTER nursing school. I am 30 right now and I will be turning 31 over the summer. I feel like if I do a 2 year program that will a) make me 33 when I am just trying to start a family and who knows how long it will take me to get pregnant, and b) it is already going to be hard enough giving up my income for one year, let alone two years. Also, I am starting to freak out right now giving up my decent paying job for a large debt to go to school. What I DO know is that I want to be a nurse and I do not want to sit behind my desk for the rest of my life!!
HELP!! Can anyone offer advice or insight into my dilemma? It is times like this where I wish there was a guide book to LIFE.

ilovecoffee81 · Mar 16, 2012

Thanks for much for your reply deredain! Good luck to you in your studies, it is tough to work and go to school at night!

Yes, it will be hard to leave an 90k job, but I don't want to wake up at 40 and look back and wish I would have gone to nursing school... you know? I've always wanted to be in a "helping" profession and right now, although the money is good, I feel like I am wasting away, sitting behind this desk. My husband would like me to wait another year to go, because we just bought a house, but I look at that as pushing back have children, and I don't want to wait longer, I'm not sure how long it will take and I know risks increase after the age of 35.

Katie71275 · Mar 17, 2012

It is completely doable! I am also a second career nursing student. I am close to 30 and my husband and I have 4 children. I quit a well paying job with great benefits to go to nursing school. It's a risk but my husband and I chose to take it b/c I needed a change and it was my passion. That risk is paying off. I still have a little over a year off but I am so excited about my career path.

I would advise going for it! Everything will work out!

ericaej · Mar 17, 2012

Can you go part time? Does your work offer tuition reimbursement? Are you healthy now? Just some thoughts.

maccheese · Mar 18, 2012

Are you making 90K for real? If so, can you save up enough to support you during nursing school? This way you can minimize debt.

Can you go part time? Does your work offer tuition reimbursement? Are you healthy now? Just some thoughts.

MN-Nurse, ASN, RN · Mar 18, 2012

It is times like this where I wish there was a guide book to LIFE.

If there was a guide book, it would advise you to start to start your family after you finish nursing school.

wcbembe · Mar 18, 2012

Hi,

My humble advice? Stay in the 90K job for another year (or two) and bank away cash to go toward a nursing program in a STATE school (not a private school). Meanwhile, get all of your prerequisites out of the way through online/evening classes.

I know it sounds like 1-2 years is too far away. And it sounds like you're bored to death in your job. And it also sounds like you think that turning 32 or 33 is going to shut down your possibilities of creating a family. But that's just not true.

I'm a 44 year-old male nursing student. I've already had one great career and am looking forward to my future career in nursing. I'm almost done and will be an RN in December. I used to worrry about my age and not meeting the expected benchmarks we associate with "growing up." But I got over it. So will you. And, in my nursing program there are tons of women (and men) who have kids and even work full time.

I guess that my bottom-line advice is to take a deep breath and slow yourself down a bit. Yes, you CAN have it all -- family, nursing school, and a job.

Best regards.

number41 · Mar 18, 2012

I can tell you, as someone else who is 30 and worked in a previous career making the same salary as you, that it is entirely doable because I did it :) I had my BA in English and worked in online advertising. I left and began this in Spring 2010, and I have one year left of my ADN to get my RN. Factor in that you will most likely, depending upon your undergrad courses, spend a semester on prereq's such as AP I, AP2, Bio, Micro, etc.

I plan on getting a job as a nurse, hopefully, once I pass the NCLEX and continuing to a Masters right away.

So yes, you can do it.. I know it sounds insane to leave behind the salary but only you know what you can swing financially. You can't put a price on happiness. Make sure you meet with the school to determine what you'd need in its entirety so you know exactly how long and have no surprises. I was told 2 year program but not that I'd have to take the science prereq's prior to the 2 years in nursingg. If you can swing it, I'd say go for it! :) Good luck! Feel free to message me if you have any questions.

gottagetmyrn · Mar 19, 2012

I just want to say go for it, find a way to make it happen! I completely understand where you are coming from. I am hoping to get into nursing school next year. I have 2 kids, and I am really wanting to try for 1 more at some point.... I have been a stay at home mom for 3 years now. I took a job working from home for the past 3 years because I do not have a degree that pays me well enough to go back to work and afford child care. Plus I really wanted to be home with my children! My point is, I HATE the job I have been doing so badly!! I am not one who likes to sit behind a desk either...boring!!! I want to be a nurse so bad I can't stand it, and I hope that if and when I finish, I can work part-time or even possibly full time, and still be a good mom and have a career that I am proud of and passionate about! I can somewhat relate to your situation because I stressed for a long time about having another baby, or going back to school...and I was afraid of putting off having the baby! But, after much consideration I made the decision to try and go back to school first! (I would be 31ish when I graduated) Anyway, I do not have a lot of advice for you as far as schooling, but I just wanted to let yo know you are not alone girl! As far as the cost, if it were me, I would go try for a community college and get your ADN so the expense is less. Then you can bridge to BSN if you want that, once you have worked a little while. If you HAVE to have some sort of income, and your current job won't work with your schedule, get certified as a CNA and get a job at a hospital. They will most likely work with your schooling, and you will really get a lot of good experience. If you can go with out working...DO IT! Anyway, Sorry for the long post, and I wish you the absolute best of luck! Cheers to having careers we love! LOL!

allnurses Guide · Mar 19, 2012

Brand new marriage, buying a house, decreasing income, "must get pregnant NOW because of my age!" AND starting nursing school to pursue a new career in which work is hard to come by on top of hubbie not 100% on board just yet? Sounds like a divorce waiting to happen. That is a LOT of stressful life events to try to pack them in all in a row like this. I would think all of these decisions through very carefully and prioritize TOGETHER on what you pursue first and on what timetable. Your husband absolutely deserves to have a say in any one of these decisions and certainly a huge say if you plan to pursue all of them at the same time.

Here is my suggestion, for what it is worth as a stranger on the Internet....You may wish to keep your well paying job, settle into your new marriage and new home, start your family, settle into that new role and lifestyle and THEN start nursing school when your children start school. The other factor you are not considering is how having a baby may make you feel about leaving that baby for 12 hour shifts or even leaving that baby at all. And if you are truly concerned about trying to get pregnant after the age of 35, the one factor here that can wait is nursing school. I graduated nursing school at 41. Trust me, there's plenty of life still left in my career and my body, not to mention my level of fulfillment.

You don't have to have it all, all at once. You are young. I am presuming you are healthy. It sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself and on your spouse. Do this together.

ilovecoffee81 · Mar 19, 2012

Hi everyone, I am overwhelmed with all of your responses. Thank you so much!!! To answer some of your questions, I am healthy. I have thought about doing a 2 year state OR ADN program, and that is another thing I keep going back and forth on... That would be 2 years with no income instead of just one year with no income. Also, the 2012 class has already been picked, so that pushes me back to starting in 2013, which makes me 32, then 2 years of school, I will be 34, looking for a job, then having my first baby at 35 IF I get pregnant right away. If I do the one year program, I would be done in May 2013, I'd be 31 and having my first baby at 32.

I am making 90k right now, but I do not want to stay at this job and save... I know that is bad and the right thing would be to save, but it's like, I have been working so hard on this... The last year and a half, I have been going to school to finish prereqs every night, and working all day. It has been really tough. I've been working so hard on this, only to sit back and wait another year.. I just don't think I could handle it!!

To those who suggested starting a family and THEN going back to school when the kids are in school a) I will have to worry about childcare and b) by then my prereqs will have expired and then I'd have to retake them all again. That would be painful!

I would never make an important decision like this w/out my husband... I am going to have a serious conversation with him tonight weighing the pros and cons... I'll keep you all posted.

Thanks again!