is nursing school harming your relationship too?

[j772]

I just started an accelerated nursing program and already my boyfriend is complaining that all I do is focus on nursing school. We had been living together for 1.5 yrs and I recently had to move about 1.5 hrs away for school. I thought I was trying to ask him about his life and make sure I was there if he needed me. I was so hurt when he told me I had "tunnel vision" and was self absorbed with school. He knows how important school is for me & I have explained that my life involves school, study, & sleeping so forgive me for not having much else to talk about. At this point I am wondering if we should stay together or end it now. I love him very much & hope I wouldn't do this to him if the roles were reversed. I just needed a place to vent with people who understand what this is like since my friends have no idea what this is like....

[goodstudentnowRN]

Nursing college put a huge dent in my marriage but life has to go on...at least I will be graduating in 12 days and I have a career where I will always be independent. I am not worried, what must be will be!

[Ciale]

Thank you all for such great advice & support. I have spoken with my boyfriend & he says he is still committed to making us work. Although I don't think he has any idea what this will mean, I love him & will do what I can to make it work. Good luck to you all as well. It is really nice to have a forum like this where we can vent & get support.

Haha. You're right, he doesn't know...but he's about to find out! I broke up with my boyfriend twice last semester...caused me to flunk one test. After that, it was a wake-up call for me. I broke it down to him...said if you want to have a life together, you're going to do whatever it takes to support me (not turning on the tv when I'm trying to study, making dinner most nights, giving back rubs, ...etc). While this is a dream of mine, it's also going to be part of our income as a couple. If you have to cut ties until you're done with school, it's not the end of the world. Maybe you guys can work when he stops being immature and selfish. Good luck! You deserve someone who is going to do anything to support you

[dannyc12]

I was so hurt when he told me I had "tunnel vision" and was self absorbed with school.

I swear guys are such freaking babies.

At least women have the decency to just leave you and find someone else when they can't deal with the lack of attention.

[roma4204, BSN, RN]

You need to get a boyfriend that understands what hard work is and supports what you're doing. This is temporary and if he is complaining about something that he knows will pass he has a real maturity problem. Don't let someone hold you back or stress you out about what you're doing!!!

[sophie<3]

i think that nursing school may be the true test to a relationship. nursing school not only affects you..it affects your friends, family, and boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/kids/etc. i do not think that relationships are doomed if someone chooses nursing as their major, just make sure you have a solid foundation in your relationship so that while you are stressed, your relationship is not adding more stress to it. i have been with my boyfriend almost 2 years and we have felt the stress of school on our relationship and all we can do is recognize the problems and both put forth effort to fix it. you can come to a mutual agreement that you will try to give him more attention if he allows you to focus when you need to. i think your boyfriend needs to be more understanding of what you are going through, but you may also need to tell him what he can expect. don't make life all work and no play, make time for him when time permits. if he is not up to the challenge, or if you aren't..it is best to say goodbye now.

[werkinit]

I'm starting nursing school this semester! I've heard nursing school is a tremendous relationship strain so I've been working to get prepared:

For a while now I've been warning my boyfriend that he's going to become a "nursing school widow" ...I've also been warning all his friends, and telling them to take him out & keep him company a bunch.

My boyfriend's sister (who is already an RN) and I split the cost on an Xbox for him for Christmas. He's a videogame junky, but never had a system of his own...that should keep him busy for HOURS.

Lastly, we remodeled our living space and made our office an "entertainment room" with the Xbox/TV and any music equipment. We cleared out a corner in our bedroom to become my "study space." Basically one room is for loud stuff, the other is for quiet...and I invested in some earplugs.

We'll see how it goes...

[Pyrai]

If this is your first time being in a long distance relationship then yes, they are hard, you have obviously noticed that. But it doesn't mean they are impossible. If he loves you, and you love him, you two will work it out together and maybe set at least an hour a week or 10 minutes a day to catch up. I have been any where from 1 1/2 to 4 hours away from my boyfriend for two years now while we both go through school, we've been dating for four years. It's possible you just have to be strong and make sacrifices if you truly want to be together.