Nursing for Intimate care for men

**CommunityRNBSN, BSN, RN** · Mar 28, 2020

I graduated nursing school last year. There were 50 in my graduating class. 46 females, 4 males. I’m pretty sure “discrimination” is not the primary reason that hospital nursing staffs are overwhelmingly female. We can’t produce male nurses out of thin air.

BettyGirard, BSN · Apr 1, 2020

On 3/28/2020 at 9:03 AM, CommunityRNBSN said:
46 females, 4 males.

Well, there's still a lot of cultural prejudice there (men are doctors, women are nurses). It will take a lot more time and effort to eliminate that. When our school was hiring an LPN for the front office we had a few male applicants. The AP wanted me to ask them if they'd be comfortable doing things like placing catheters on female students. I asked if we shouldn't also ask the female applicants if they would be comfortable doing so with the male students. He then asked me if I felt uncomfortable doing it. I told him he wasn't getting the point.

And yes, we asked and they all said they were fine. The top applicant still ended up being female.

MarkMyWords · Apr 1, 2020

You mean they were all willing to undress and inspected by a student of opposite sex? This does not bother them? Does it encourage flirting or socializing outside class? If every female student needs to practice catheterizing a male, then a small number of men gets 30 or something women into him.

Secondly, isn't some of the female hiring due to affirmative action within the hospital or corporation that owns it? There is no affirmative action for men when the field is dominated by women. Same issue in other such fields, such as librarians. It's not always fair but that's the law and men are silent about it--except anonymously, it seems.

Thirdly, regarding intimate treatment, females are perceived as more sensitive and vulnerable in society, easily taken advantage of and men hardly at all. Always has been this way. Men are supposed to take it, be tough, not oppose the rules. Or as a medical assistant once told me"take it like a man."

Personally, I don't like men touching me, except the doctor. Especially intimate areas. I would rather have an inexperienced medical female assistant (and I have to ask for them) than the experienced male urology or cardiology nurse. Some patients need to put their foot down and insist on what they want now. Also, I am curious, do nurses prefer same gender or opposite gender patients, young or old--it is not supposed to matter, I know.

One last question. Is it all right for a patient to insist on a say, a female nurse or medical assistant to help with the procedure when it is unnecessary because the doctor will do the task? Such as a cystoscopy?

BettyGirard, BSN · Apr 2, 2020

If that question was aimed at me, I'm not talking about nursing school, but the high school that was hiring.

Emergent, RN · Apr 2, 2020

I think the main things men are concerned or sensitive about are a) size and b) homosexuality related to having another male touch them there.

I've had a few patients apologize for their small member, it was obviously a personal worry of theirs. Usually it looked pretty much average to me.

I think the issue of requesting the same gender to provide any care like this is quite different with men or women. Many women have been molested or raped. 99.9 of perpetrators are male. Men have different fears. Many don't want to be perceived as homosexuals. Heterosexual men are not going to feel threatened by a woman, more often than not.

Just my 2 cents.

Older Male LPN, LPN · Apr 2, 2020

I don't think that the point of an all-male staff was suggested but simply a more balance staff - where a male would be available if needed. a lifetime ago on my OBGYN rotation, all patients were asked if they "minded a male nurse" Several did - I was asked if I wanted to be an OBGYN Nurse (I did not) and my clinical was conducted accordingly -- maybe it's different now.

Older Male LPN, LPN · Apr 2, 2020

When I taught special ED in Schools I remember that female staff would teach toileting to both male and female students. Male staff worked with the boys taking them into the locker room where the female staff was not welcome and other such duties. Females have considered appropriate for either sex male staff was not. while it would never be said out loud the point was women could be trusted with Children and Men could not. The following years would be peppered with reports of female teachers having sexual relationships with their teenage students

guest966516 · Apr 2, 2020

Very interesting thread. I definitely feel it is tougher for men in this profession. Pants down...er..I mean, Hands down.

I have watched women run in and out of a "well endowed" unconscious patient's room, taking good looks at his "assets". I had to chase them like the little school girls that they were. No backlash or outrage there.

I then watched these same women line up and form a barricade to a super model's room who was admitted to my hospital, who had her shirt slightly unbuttoned, and a few of my male friends, who were fans, wanted to take a tiny peek. "Oh my gosh, those males were so nasty! Fire them at once!" they said. LOL!

What is fair here? LOL! We all know the double standard.

I think men have it tough all around. I sympathize with women. But this field is not one of them. Women get the most respect here. Try as we like it or not.

Men BETTER not complain if a female wants to touch their genitalia. They should like it too.

Go on, do a breast "exam" when you should be doing a sternal rub. Do you wanna die bro? LOL!

Heck, be QUALIFIED, and still yet, touch that woman's breast for ONE second too long, and youre done.

Men want and need privacy too. They just cant complain, or theyre being difficult.

Whereas, women get whole HOSPITALS for themselves. Go figure.

Maybe I should use my MBA to open a MALES only hospital and rake in the damn dough.

JadedCPN, BSN, RN · Apr 2, 2020

33 minutes ago, SleykRN said:
Very interesting thread. I definitely feel it is tougher for men in this profession. Pants down...er..I mean, Hands down.
I have watched women run in and out of a "well endowed" unconscious patient's room, taking good looks at his "assets". I had to chase them like the little school girls that they were. No backlash or outrage there.
I then watched these same women line up and form a barricade to a super model's room who was admitted to my hospital, who had her shirt slightly unbuttoned, and a few of my male friends, who were fans, wanted to take a tiny peek. "Oh my gosh, those males were so nasty! Fire them at once!" they said. LOL!
What is fair here? LOL! We all know the double standard.
I think men have it tough all around. I sympathize with women. But this field is not one of them. Women get the most respect here. Try as we like it or not.
Men BETTER not complain if a female wants to touch their genitalia. They should like it too.

I was with you in agreement up until the bolded statement. That's being too dramatic and theatrical; nobody expects men to not speak up if they aren't comfortable with a female caregiver, and certainly nobody expects them to "like it."

MarkMyWords · Apr 2, 2020

I agree with Emergent. (Are you m or f?) Gayness and size are what men think about. The fear of the Other's perception. Size is discussed on other forums I know, very frankly. Especially patients past a certain age when blood does not flow as much in member so it appears weak, small. It might not be though. Anyway, nurses use plastic gloves, so what's the big deal. Everyone is supposed to act as if none of this matters but it definitely does. I spoke about this candidly to a female nurse, she understood. I still remember one nurse grinning as she examined my butt. No joke..

.I am curious where about you nurses work--generally. I am from Illinois where the Covid 19 is rampant.

guest966516 · Apr 3, 2020

14 hours ago, JadedCPN said:
I was with you in agreement up until the bolded statement. That's being too dramatic and theatrical; nobody expects men to not speak up if they aren't comfortable with a female caregiver, and certainly nobody expects them to "like it."

I see your point, indeed I do. But try as we might, it IS true. It is certainly not being too dramatic. I have seen Directors of Nursing, male and female, look at male patients who complain, and brush them off. These people should know better, but alas, the stigma remains.

You're a guy? The double standard dictates that you "should" love any and all female touch. You just aren't being realistic to say that this stigma doesn't still pervade our society today.

I don't say you can't speak up, my point is that it is still VERY MUCH seen that you should somewhat like it, or deep down, "appreciate" the fact that some female is willing to coddle your junk. Lets be real here.

Most men will vary on this depending on their mood. Some will point out the old "where was she, when I was in high school", and some will be able to accurately point out the double standard.

Heck, I do both at times myself. I have seen men complain and I was like "look at that chick, what the hell are you complaining about sir"

And I have also felt that men should, and need and deserve more privacy, and that not enough care is taken to give it.

Most times we do both.

But the stigma and double standard still exists.

It is not at all being over-dramatic. What you do there is another male tactic that ultimately hurts us. We DOWNPLAY too much s***.

trytounderstand · Apr 3, 2020

1 hour ago, SleykRN said:
I have seen Directors of Nursing, male and female, look at male patients who complain, and brush them off.

Have witnessed this situation personally. Have seen supposed female healthcare professionals become very offended and sarcastic because a male patient requested his dignity be preserved. Also have witnessed female healthcare professionals saying and making suggestive comments to male patient that if it had been a male healthcare professional saying it to a female patient the females would have been up in arms.