To All Party Girls....signs that it's time to go home.

1. To All the Party Girls
   Signs It's Time to Go Home
   
   1. You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.
   
   2. You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the ladies room.
   
   3. You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's ass.
   
   4. In your last trip to "pee" you realize you now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago.
   
   5. You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating.
   
   6. You start crying.
   
   7. There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.
   
   8. You've found a deeper side to the office nerd.
   
   9. The man you're flirting with used to be your fifth grade teacher.
   
   10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.
   
   11. You've forgotten where you live.
   
   12. You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the cigarettes you've smoked, because (as you've mentioned like ten times by now) you only smoke when you drink.
   
   13. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving you just tonic, but that's just because you can no longer taste the gin or vodka.
   
   14. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like pizza.
   
   15. You start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the wrong way but..."
   
   16. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.
   
   17. Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
   
   18. You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!).
   
   19. You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really want to.
2. 

   About Mary Dover

   Joined: Feb '02; Posts: 366; Likes: 34
   RN in cold but beautiful place
   Specialty: Psych, hospice, family practice

   24 Comments

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3. 
   Jun 8, '02

   Occupation: CNA; baby nurse (not a real nurse yet of course, but midnight feedings, and nanny for babies." Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 28

   I hate to say it-in my party days, I think I have done every one of those...I have to say though...It was fun!!
4. 
   Jun 8, '02

   Occupation: Deputy Ward Manager Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 523; Likes: 7

   Did it last weekend STILL paying for it
   j:imbar
5. 
   Jun 8, '02

   Occupation: Student Nurse Joined: Jan '02; Posts: 54; Likes: 17

   It's that feeling that you've had enough to drink, but what the hell you have another bottle of wine anyway! Why does the ill feeling start immediately (and not one minute before) you lie down in bed??????
6. 
   Jun 8, '02

   Joined: Jun '02; Posts: 14,826; Likes: 8,031

   I like the list. It's so close to the modern day stressors at work.
7. 
   Jun 8, '02

   Joined: Oct '00; Posts: 10,236; Likes: 64

   Originally posted by Mary Dover
   
   19. You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really want to.

   Can't you?
   
   Heather
8. 
   Jun 9, '02

   From: US ; Joined: Oct '01; Posts: 6,238; Likes: 1,829

   Originally posted by OBNURSEHEATHER
   
   
   Can't you?
   
   Heather

   
   When I was 4 I used to embarrass the he!! out of my big sister (16 yrs older) by challenging the nieighborhood boys to see who could pee the farthest...and will.
   
   
   Don't remember the last time I tried it...hey husband...wheres that bottle of Jagar?...
9. 
   Jun 9, '02

   Occupation: a just a nurse contemplating the nature of my career..... Joined: Oct '01; Posts: 2,344; Likes: 21

   When the line to the woman's bathroom is way back to the door...but the mens is free, so what the hey!!!!!
   
   oh, those were the days my friends.......
   nah, na, nah, nah, na, na, na!!!!!!
   we'd sing and dance forever and a day.....
   
   and why can't a female pee standing upright.........
   and you suddenly decide you want to kick somebody's a..
   
   too funny.........
10. 
    Jun 9, '02

    Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 38,750; Likes: 16,271

    i pee standing over the toilet in a public restroom.....who wants all the gobbydegook on their butts by sitting DOWN???? ...rofl, TMI i know! had to add it tho....
11. 
    Jun 9, '02

    Joined: Jul '01; Posts: 2,151; Likes: 86

    Just in case anyone's curious, here is a web site that can help to teach you how to master the finer points.
    
    http://www.restrooms.org/standing.html
    
    It's a skill, that's for sure. ;>P
12. 
    Jun 9, '02

    Occupation: ED staff nurse From: US ; Joined: Nov '01; Posts: 1,150; Likes: 232

    OMG Kristi that is too funny. I cut and pasted the email addy and sent it to all the women on my email list!!!
13. 
    Jun 9, '02

    Occupation: MDS Coordinator, CWS Joined: Mar '02; Posts: 325; Likes: 3

    I agree liligirl.....too funny.
    
    "Hangovers hurt more than they used to"
    
    
14. 
    Jun 9, '02

    Occupation: RN, Inpatient Hospice Specialty: 17 year(s) of experience in Hospice, Critical Care ; From: US ; Joined: Oct '00; Posts: 1,664; Likes: 177

    Going on the bulletin board at work!! Along with Pee Standing Up Instructions!!!! Too good!

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