Stupid things coworkers say

Nurses Humor

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Now, this isn't meant to be mean or downing anyone, but sometimes the people you work with say some really dumb things that are worth sharing.

We had a patient that was being dismissed after being admitted as a 23 hour observation. The nurse that was dismissing the patient turned to me and said, now she can't leave until 5 right? (It was 9 am) I said five?? She said "Well she was admitted at 6 and 5 would be 23 hours duh!!!". After I explained to her that 23 hours was the maximum time, and tried to be very calm and professional, all the while having visions of her telling this poor lady that even though she was dismissed by the doc, that her time wasn't up, so she couldn't go. I had to lock myself in the bathroom to laugh, she was soooo serious!!!!!!

Okay, now you all no bashing---be nice.

Specializes in LTC , SDC and MDS certified (3.0).

I was working LTC and a resident had passed, I asked the Dr who was making rounds if he could pronounce her His reply"Can it wait?"

(om no she might come back)

I always love when I come on shift at 7 am and, while getting report from the night nurse, ask a question and the nurse looks at me and says, "I don't know, I just picked him up at 11 pm." One of these days I will be brave enough to inform the nurse that they have had that patient for 8 hours. It is unbelievable how many times I hear that.

You guys are kinda entertaining

I will have to add some myself

oh man

Specializes in Peds Cardiology,Peds Neuro,Pedi ER,PICU, IV Jedi.

Just the other night one of my nurse coworkers was attempting to rearrange her schedule so that she and 3 other nurses could all go overseas together. She came to the nurse's station and blurts out:

Felicia, I think I'm going to need you and Val to help me get off"...

and my mind went STRAIGHT to the gutter.... She immediately realized how that sounded and turned a bright red color.

i have a hard time when other nurses mix up "bathe" and "bath". sometimes i'll get report and they'll say "oh, and i bathed your patient" and i'll reply "oh, you BATHED them? Thanks!". something about incorrect grammar just irks me something fierce!!!

i am not following this, maybe it is something that would be obvious in speaking?

Specializes in Geriatrics, Pediatrics, Home Health.

She bath-ed [short vowel sound ah] instead of bathe-d [long vowel sound A]

Hope this helps!!

Specializes in PICU, surgical post-op.
i have a hard time when other nurses mix up "bathe" and "bath". sometimes i'll get report and they'll say "oh, and i bathed your patient" and i'll reply "oh, you BATHED them? Thanks!". something about incorrect grammar just irks me something fierce!!!

Don't come hang out with me then :mad:... I always say it with the short A. It's something I picked up while in Africa and haven't been able to shake it yet. My co-workers just laugh at me.

I am forever saying stupid things, one of my best:

I was working on an Indian reservation as a home health nurse. One of my patients was very end stage liver disease and when I went to see her she was Kussmaul breathing. The family was very upset and I knew she was at the very end of life and she was a no - code and wanted to die at home.

At that time I went to get a doctor (small reservation and sweet family doc that wanted to comfort the family). I was leary of bringing him because I am almost never right about who is going to die and I've brought him out only for the patient to end up being fine.

We enter the patients bedroom and sure enough she is no longer Kussmaul breating but quite quiet. I say to the faimily, oh she's breathing so much better! The physician goes over with a stethascope and says, ahhh Debra she's passed.

NO WAIT, that's not the dumb thing.........then I think, hey! I finally brought the doc out at the right time and say........oh good. I'm sure the family never forgot me. I was so embarassed I just about died.

Specializes in Med Surg, Post partum, peds, newborn nur.

I am a new nurse so not funny stuff from work yet, but knowing me it won't take long. lol

I have been a 911 dispatcher for the past 10 years and I have said many funny and strange things over the radio. Once I had sent the fire dept and ambulance service out on a call and we had to set up a helicopter landing zone on top of a dam. The copter was about to land and was radioing me for some updated patient information. I had tried marking the on scene units by number but no one was responding, so I tried again "Dispatch to any unit on the Dam landing zone." Needless to say as soon as the words left my mouth and went over the radio I realized how bad it sounded. lol.

Another time I had a police officer radioing me and every time I answered him he would not go ahead with his traffic, so I thought that there was either something wrong with my radio or his so I got the bright idea to see if anyone else could hear me so I said "dispatch to any unit; am I putting out" (I meant if my radio was being heard by anyone). One of the other officers marked up and said "I don't know about the dispatch but I can hear you." I have put my foot in my mouth so many times. I think the people in scanner land are going to miss me. lol

Specializes in ER, ER, ER.

Oh. My. God. This is great! I haven't laughed this much in years!

One time I floated from ICU to the L&D, NOT a good fit I must say! I told the nurses that I couldn't take patients since I was on the Code Team for the hospital. "That's Ok" piped up one perky but not-so-experienced nurse, "You can just give report and THEN go to the code" "Ummmm. Noooooo...... I really don't think the patient will wait for me." I said. "Why not?" She asked. About 3 us older nurses just looked at each other and said in, unison "All Righty Then!" and started to laugh. She realized what she had said and started to laugh with us! Took forever to get through that shift report! Total giggle-fest!

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