Stupid Stupid Man

  1. Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror, complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.

    Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he
    uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion: "If you want your breaststo grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it betweenyour
    breasts for a few seconds."

    Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in
    frontof the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.

    "How long will this take?" I
    ask. "They will grow larger over a period of years," he replies.
    I stop."Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"

    Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

    He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again.

    Stupid, stupid man.
  2. Visit Tweety profile page

    About Tweety, BSN

    Joined: Oct '02; Posts: 60,450; Likes: 16,880


  3. by   nursebedlam
    goodone 3rdShiftGuy
  4. by   chris_at_lucas_RN
    Got this in my email this morning. Forwarded it to the DH, but I doubt he will see anything familiar.... :chuckle


    From a housewife* (*obvious problem #1, she's apparently married to a house!):

    When the power mower broke and wouldn't run, I kept hinting to my husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the message never sank in. Finally I thought of a clever way to make my point. When my husband arrived home that day, he found me seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

    He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. He was gone only a few moments when he came out again. He handed me a toothbrush. "When you finish cutting the grass," he said, "you might as well sweep the sidewalks."

    The doctors say he will probably live, but it will be quite awhile before the casts come off.
  5. by   sandypinktruck
    Are we bashing today, or just enjoying our differences?
  6. by   chris_at_lucas_RN
    Nah, this isn't male bashing, male bashing is mean. This is funny.

    And I always enjoy the differences....
  7. by   Kaelie
  8. by   Energizer Bunny
    ROFLMBO!!! Thanks Tweety!
  9. by   minnielynn
    This is just too funny!!!!LOL
  10. by   jnette
    Yep... it's recycled again... but continues to be one of the funniest ones I've ever heard !

    Thanx for the reminder, Tweets!

    on second thought........................................... ... :stone
    Not a bit funny.
  11. by   Nitengale326
    I am at work and lmbo and everyone is wondering what is going on... I will share but have to quit laffing first....thanks for them all!!!