Funny things you have said but wish you didn't - page 16

A few years ago, I was on the phone with a person from the local lumber company. having in mind to ask if they had any tar paper. But instead, toilet paper slipped out. That remark started the... Read More

  1. by   prmenrs
    My dad used to answer the phone: "Curly's Bar and Grill, Curly's not here." He got laughs even if it was the Admiral calling.
  2. by   lionkore
    [font=Lucida Sans Unicode][font=Lucida Sans Unicode]my sister, "Kristy," (not her real name), is a unit clerk on the med-surg floor of the hospital where I work. she's used to answering the phone with excellent customer service: "med-surg, this is Kristy, can I help you?"
    [font=Lucida Sans Unicode]
    [font=Lucida Sans Unicode]well one frazzled day, lots of admits, transfers, lost paperwork, missing dietary trays, she picks up the phone to answer an outside caller (a pt's family member), and shows her true feelings: "med-surg, this is Kristy, can you help me?"
    [font=Lucida Sans Unicode]
  3. by   leopold
    one time when I was working as a cna I was going over the bath sheets with the nurse and she said did this patient get a bath? And I said...Whoa! Hold on a second -- someone next door to me just had a very loud orgasm... :roll anyway, I said, yes I gave X a bath. She looked at me funny and said what? And I said I gave X a bath. Then I realized that X was the name of one of my fellow cnas. After that whenever he was around she would just look at me and smirk.
  4. by   lady_jezebel
    Quote from Rapheal
    My McDonalds story. I was waiting in the drive thru a very long time. Had my neices in the car with me. I was trying to be in a pleasant mood and when we pulled up to get our food I said " A little short handed today?" The man at the window just looked at me without responding. He starts to hand me our food. He has a deformity where both his arms basically in stubs. I was mortified.

    Dead silence in the car as we pull out. My neice says "Good going Auntie". The other neices break out in laughter. I will never forget it.
    Oh, my goodness. What dumb luck. How mortifying for you. I can't believe I just laughed my a-- off, for that's sad really. I'm ashamed of myself...
  5. by   lady_jezebel
    Quote from msonurse
    I was getting report from a nurse I did not know and she told me my patient had had a bilateral lobectomy and I looked at her and said "Oh my gosh! Both ears?!!!!!!!!" She did not think it was funny.
    too, too funny
  6. by   TreetopAngel_RN
    When I was nine my mother became pregnant. Being the inquisitive type I wanted to know all about the pregnancy and what was going on with my new sister or brother. Dad went out and got the Time Life Book on pregnancy and childbirth. I knew to ask questions if I got stuck on words I did not know.

    We had been hoping for a baby boy as there were three of us girls. One night at dinner, before my brother was born, I burst out crying. Mom and Dad were concerned as I tried to explain why I was so upset.

    I told them I decided I didn't want a baby brother, because I didn't want him to be criticised. Mom and Dad looked very confused so I explained further, "Baby boys are born with a flap of skin on their forehead that gets cut off. I don't want him to have a scar and be criticised."

    Mom looked puzzled and Dad burst out laughing. It took him a while to calm down and explain that I had read the words wrong. Circumcision and foreskin were the words I had failed to look up as my 9 y/o brain had equated them with criticize and forehead.

    I still hear about this brother will be 35 in a week.
  7. by   TDub
    So... DID your little brother get criticized?:chuckle
  8. by   elizabells
    Quote from TDub
    So... DID your little brother get criticized?:chuckle
    Well, I do know a lot of women who prefer an uncut penis . . .
  9. by   prmenrs
    Treetop--I'm sure you had an embarrassing story w/which to torture HIM!!! Right?
  10. by   TreetopAngel_RN
    Quote from TDub
    So... DID your little brother get criticized?:chuckle
    As a matter of fact, yes. A few years later he did manage to gain a scar on his forehead, also! He was goofing off as only a 3 y/o can do and fell against the coffee table, cutting his forehead and eyelid open.

    He is now in his second year of nursing school, he plans on being a trauma nurse.
  11. by   TreetopAngel_RN
    Quote from prmenrs
    Treetop--I'm sure you had an embarrassing story w/which to torture HIM!!! Right?
    He was a master mangler of the English language. We, the family, still call eyeballs...eyebulbs, in honor of him.

    There are many other things with which to torture him, most are not suitable for a public forum. Besides, if I started on him, he may start spilling the beans on me! :stone
  12. by   HeatherB,CST
    This is kind of an old thread, but I'm bringing it back...there are some great stories on here!

    I had just started a new job and was standing near a group of coworkers who were talking and laughing...I wasn't really listening to their conversation and I didn't know what they were talking about, but I over heard the word "Volvo". So I chimed in and said "Volvo? I have a Volvo, I love it!!! It's red!"

    Everyone just stared at me, then started hysterically laughing...I had no idea what was so funny...until one girl said they were discussing something regarding VULVA. And I had just said I have one, I love it, and it's red.

    And so the ice was broken LOL
  13. by   EmmaG

    That is priceless