Funny things you have said but wish you didn't - page 15

A few years ago, I was on the phone with a person from the local lumber company. having in mind to ask if they had any tar paper. But instead, toilet paper slipped out. That remark started the... Read More

  1. by   greenivy
    I had taken my children, a boy and a girl to McD's for a happy meal lunch and after finding a table and getting the lunches out, I realised the counterperson had given me two girl toys. So I went back to the counter to ask for a boytoy, please.
  2. by   Nurseferatu
    We had a patient named Mr. Bulalac, which in filipino is "Flower".

    One of my co-workers kept on referring to him as Mr. Bulbulac.

    Guess what, in filipino, "bulbul" is pubic hair and "bulac" is cotton.

    Well Hello Mr. Cotton-Pubic hair!
  3. by   AKAKatydid
    I work in an office in the back of a big warehouse. Out on the floor there are some low-life people there, so they really watch what kinds of "weapons" could be around. Because of this, all the tools in the building are strictly accounted for.

    Anyway, so here I am at my desk in the office, and the ARM of my chair just falls off. There were 2 screws holding this arm on, and both of them gave out. So I call the maintenance supervisor to come by and fix the chair.

    He comes to the office and starts picking on me, just teasing that a silly chair is not important... So I tell him: "Mike, C'mon and help me here. I'd screw it myself, but I lack the proper equipment!" ... It wasn't until he turned beet red that I realized what the heck I said!

    It broke once more since then, and I decided I'd just put a whole bunch of packing tape on it!

  4. by   nurse96
    One day a man who had had a TURP called me into his room. He was concerned regarding the size of his testicles. I stated, "Don't worry, I've seen bigger", it was only after I left the room did I think about what I had said. Luckily I don't think the pt thought about it!
  5. by   kwagner_51
    I am a student in my last rotation Psychsocial Nursing. It was our first clinical and we had toured the unit. We were back in the conference room discussing the patients. The instructor was explaining how to read the patient admission list and said,"this on is here on a criminal charge." We were all kinda scared and she then said, "remember the really short patient in the hallway?" We nodded and she said, "well that is the one in for assault."

    I said, "What did the patient do? Punch someone in the knee!?!"

    We all rolled!! I don't usually say things like that, but we were all under pressure and it just slipped out!!

    After clinical, we were still laughing one of the SN's said she was going to wear knee pads to the hospital the next day to protect her knees. I told her she would need to wear them backwards so she could protect the backs of her knees!!!

    I still can NOT believe I said that!!


    In His Grace,


    Failure is NOT an option!!
  6. by   MIA-RN1
    I love this thread! I know its old but it reminds me of when I was about 10 or 11. I had just had my hair cut and styled in a fancy salon. it was crowded and my mom was there chit-chatting with some of the other girls there...well, the guy who did my hair turned off the hairdryer and proudly showed me my new 'do in the mirror to which I replied
    "Wow! I guess I just got a great blow job, huh mom?"
  7. by   Trixiebell
    i used to work as a photographer and had spent a whole day photographing babies that kept spitting up on me and handeling parents who would just hand me a child and walk off while i tried to convince an 8 week old baby to smile for me. i was meeting friends for dinner and was really late...
    i walked in, sat down and someone asked me how work was, to which i replied 'ahhh nothing but babies, if i see another baby i will just scream, i can't stand a whole day with babies' and my friend then told me that she had asked me to come to dinner to tell me she was pregnant...
    i just kept waiting for that hole to open up in the floor and let me escape... :stone
  8. by   marimar12
    My ex-husband and I were collecting Toy Story characters that were in the Burger King kids meals (years ago). The only character that was missing was the little cowboy. He and I decided to meet for lunch one day and wound up going to, where else, Burger King. He started placing our order "Can I get a Whopper Meal, she wants a fish sandwich meal." We wait for our food and when it arrives he asks the food server "Hey Guy, you got a Woody?"
  9. by   merry nurse
    I once had a colonoscopy by a DR. Auger..... My girlfriend breaks up with her boyfriend. Next day I go on and on about how she really is lucky to be rid of him, that he is homely, etc. He was standing in the corner of the room listening. They had made up..... I was preaching to some c.n.a.s about how we were derived from a one cell organism, and said (orgasm). oops.
  10. by   mtymom
    Quote from nekhismom
    Fran, I often answer my phone, "house of beauty, this is cutie!" I usually get loud laughs. :chuckle
    My name is Jennifer, sometimes I answer my phone "Jen's mule barn, head mule speaking. I get a lot of laughs from that one.
  11. by   student4ever
    Quote from msdolfinn
    to this day i can't say outback steakhouse properly on the first try. it always comes out 'outhouse steakback'. my friends have taken to asking me to "meet them in the outhouse for a quickie...dinner that is." :smackingf
    when we're at work, the girls and i frequently reverse the beginnings of words so we can "safely" use swear words (ie it's a mell of a hess in here!) - folks don't try this at home!!

    one day i was wearing a lace bra, which i knew i shouldn't have worn because it would itch!!! i was trying to say, i can't wait to get out of this itchy "bucking fra," but since i was used to saying "bucking fra" and was thinking i needed to "spoonerize it," i ended up saying loudly enough for the whole ed, waiting room included that "i can't wait to get out of this itchy ****ing bra!!!!" i'm still surprised that the waiting room full of conservative little old folks (we have a lot of mennonites in our area) didn't suddenly all develop chest pain and diaphoresis!
    i usually only open my mouth to switch feet!
    [font=book antiqua][font=book antiqua]xxx
  12. by   TDub
    When I was about 10, my mother told me I looked like the wrath of God. (Hair uncombed, sleep wrinkles on face, etc.) I looked all confused and asked, "Who's Aratha Gopp?"

    Forever after, it's been 'Aratha Gopp' in my family if you look like hell.
  13. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from mtymom
    My name is Jennifer, sometimes I answer my phone "Jen's mule barn, head mule speaking. I get a lot of laughs from that one.
    When I'm in my silly mood, I sometimes answer the phone with, "Fearless Fanny's House of Pleasure. How may I help you today?" After I say that, there's usually silence on the other end.
    Last edit by FranEMTnurse on Oct 4, '07