Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 45

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

  1. by   Indy
    Quote from NurseRoRo
    <HR style="COLOR: #e4e6eb" SIZE=1><!-- / icon and title --><!-- message -->
    A new grad was working with us on nightshift and wasn't aware that one of our docs is, uh, high maintenance. He gave the nurse some telephone orders and asked that she page him at 4:30am for his wake up call.

    Yup. The order went on to read, "Call MD at 4:30am to wake him up."

    Now with my luck that'd be some (insert all the bad words here) who doesn't answer his pager, won't answer the phone and won't answer the door when you've gotten the police to go knock on his front door, thus making us wonder if he's even alive.

    Yeah, I'm still steamed about that one. And when he called me, after I'd woken up every other doc in a 10 mile radius including the medical director, his question was, "are you nurses crazy?" Yes. That must be it.
  2. by   cursenurse
    This was not so much funny as it was irritating. The doctor actually (in the ER) wrote an order for a glass of water to be provided to the patient so that she could take her home pill. I'm like "What!" the doctor walks past the water fountain and the cups to log on to the computer and ask the RN to provide water to the pt? I found that to be extremely irritating and lazy.
  3. by   JaredCNA
    When I was unit secretary the other night, I transcribed an order that read, "Pt may go downstairs to smoke as often as he chooses."

    The patient was POD#1 s/p right lobectomy and with a hx of emphysema, chronic bronchitis and Lung CA.

    Then of course, working nights, there's one order you have to laugh at that I see from time to time "Please do not wake pt until 0700 hrs." But then they schedule vitals or IV abx q2h or for 0400.
  4. by   alcrab01
    As a nursing student on my first med/surg clinicals, I was reading a patient's history and saw "T&A." I pondered this abbreviation for a long time and could only think of one thing that T&A stands for. I finally asked, "Does this mean breast augmentation and liposuction or something?" The nurses NEVER let me live it down!
  5. by   peridotgirl
    hope i didn't spoil the fun, but what does s/p and t&a mean... ??

    keep em' coming please. d:chuckle
  6. by   Jamesdotter
    Quote from peridotgirl
    hope i didn't spoil the fun, but what does s/p and t&a mean... ??

    keep em' coming please. d:chuckle
    t&a tonsilectomy and adnoidectomy
    s/p i don't see at a quick glance where that one comes from, but it's probably "status post"--like post-op
  7. by   ElvishDNP
    s/p = status post
  8. by   NiteNurz
    24 hour urine collection on a anuric pt. I just laughed.:chuckle
  9. by   NiteNurz
    oh i forgot my favorite.

    give 50 gallons of golytely bowel prep tonight
  10. by   peridotgirl
    thank you jamesdotter and elvish. i really appreciate it. actually, the funny thnig is when i went to get my pt's chart today for past surgical hx, "s/p" was on there. :chuckle so, now i know what it means. :d:chuckle
  11. by   JenTheRN
    We have an arrogant Anesthesiologist who like to think he's God and must think that the nurses are dumb.

    He has extensive orders for epidurals including: "Perform standard measures for fetal distress". Oh really? I couldn't figure that out on my own, and I didn't realize you were an OB doc. Next he'll be writing "Call Code for cardiac arrest" or "Apply Kleenex to nasal drainage".
  12. by   elizabells
    Quote from NiteNurz
    24 hour urine collection on a anuric pt. I just laughed.:chuckle
    At least it wouldn't take a lot of time. Or effort.
  13. by   alcrab01
    I worked with a resident in PICU that was.. challenged. She has failed the Peds rotation several times, but her husband was high up in the coporate level in the hospital so she was allowed to repeat it.

    On her THIRD ROTATION through the PICU I saw her order:
    Tylenol 325mg IV push

    Another night, I had a patient with D5 0.45NS with 30 mEq KCl and her potassium was rising and the resident said, "Do I need to order a whole new bag to make it D5 0.45NS with 10 mEq KCl or can you just pull off the extra potassium?"

    I was like, "Uhhh sure let me go get my magic partical separator syringe."

    What an idiot.