Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Nurses Humor

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To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

What I love when I'm in charge in the nursery is when the pediatricians come to me to ask, "Is this baby going home today?"

Ummm...well, Doc, that's kind of up to you. :cool:

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Specializes in ER/SICU/Med-Surg/Ortho/Trauma/Flight.

I work in ER and Sicu and had these the other day-

For a severely burned pt-

1. Order- Silvadene-30 GM-IV push q4h- Uh thats all this guy needs and uh no thank you.

2. this was in the physicians notes- CVC inserted into throat-ouch, he meant neck EJ.

Another pt-with severe lady partsl bleeding and infection who had a histerectomy-

-Pitocine 25 mg IV- Uh dont think so.

- And Dope-IV-titrate to an SBP>90-Oh yeah I guess "dope" will do that, it was supposed to be dopamine.

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Specializes in ER/SICU/Med-Surg/Ortho/Trauma/Flight.

When I worked in Peds. along time ago as an LPN- we had twins that were in the same room they had a stomach virus or infection or something I dont remember now, but they were about oh 8-9 y/o boys and they were hellcats, mean, oh mean, anyway the peds guy just about had with them, they spit on him, pulled his tie to choke him, called him some nasty names, anyways found in each of there charts on an order sheet was-

Orders-

1.) Tan childs behind-til red, prn bad behavior,- lol- all of us got a kick out of that one of course we didnt follow it, but the father did-lol.

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Specializes in ER.

The other night in the ER, I was going over some admit orders from an intern for a patient. There, buried amongst the normal AM labs, CXR, and PRN meds was a lone order that stated "Intubate". I mean, the patient was sorta sick...but not that bad!

We called this intern, woke her up...and asked her if that was a STAT order or did she want the patient tubed in the AM. :D

(She rushed right down and corrected the order sheet...)

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Specializes in onc, M/S, hospice, nursing informatics.
The other night in the ER, I was going over some admit orders from an intern for a patient. There, buried amongst the normal AM labs, CXR, and PRN meds was a lone order that stated "Intubate". I mean, the patient was sorta sick...but not that bad!

We called this intern, woke her up...and asked her if that was a STAT order or did she want the patient tubed in the AM. :D

(She rushed right down and corrected the order sheet...)

I love it when residents write really dumb or confusing orders. Since I work nights and we always get the patient in the middle of the night after the orders were written around 9pm, I get to call and wake them up at 0-dark-thirty! Like the order we got the other day: "NPO" with the next line "crush all meds". Well, which is it???:bugeyes:

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Specializes in LTC.

we had an md write an order for a resident at the ltc who she thought wasn't eating enough: 1 bowl of oatmeal qd at 1400

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Specializes in LTC.

Had a code a few years back, it was around 1 am. There was a bad storm, all lights in the facility went off. No back up generator. Called the Doc, the pt was full code. Doc gave order: " Get your beach towel and meet me at the front door!"

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Specializes in ICU/CVICU/CICU/MSICU/CathLab.

for a pt that had been intubated for over 2 months, extubated, and then self-D/Cd the NG tube, resident (bless her heart) ordered for pt to have Healthy Heart Diet. When we explained to her that the pt probably needed to have swallow test performed by Speech before he could eat (pt was c/o being hungry 2 hrs after extubation and NGT d/c). Resident quickly wrote new order and then jetted. My husband came over to me with orders (we are both RNs working the CVICU at the time), and asked me to explain where he would send the following order:

"Pt to receive Delicious piece of gum."

Then my husband asked me..."do we get that from Pharmacy or central supply?!" :)

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.

Last night at work we were checking orders at beginning of my shift and I saw the order for : "Lactulose 30ml IVP" , Ummmmm no thanks. I don't think that would be a good thing through the picc. Last thing this guy needed. As if his ICH s/p TPA wasn't bad enough.

The same resident ordered NPH insulin IVP. Had to rewrite that order too. What was with this guy?

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Specializes in ICU/CVICU/CICU/MSICU/CathLab.
Sounds like the first time I came across an order for:

Milk and molasses enema PR.

When I questioned the doc, he replied, "Just don't make cookies".

My first and only order for a Milk and Molasses enema was on a 650# intubate pt in the ICU; G:down:od love those July Residents. Luckily, my order written in under their signature was: Place ZASSI rectal tube. Don't remember if the rectal system actually worked.

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Specializes in Psych, ER, OB, M/S, teaching, FNP.

We had a pateint that was third spacing and had "large" pendulous testicles. Any movement ofcourse caused pain. The doctor wrote several orders and then added "fish net panties"

She meant the panties we use in OB (we call Victoria Secret specials) for mom's after giving birth that can stretch to huge sizes. I can only imagine what the pharmacy thoguth when we faxed them that order!

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I'm a clinical instructor having our clinical rounds in the pediatric unit. our staff nurse failed to monitor vital signs of a private patient wherein students are not allowed to handle. The patient's physician have his round and noticed our staff nurse reading something. Then the Doc encircled the vital sign sheet and wrote a note: "NEGLIGENCE: STAFF ON DUTY JUST READING BEAUTY PRODUCTS CATALOGUE!!!"

the staff nurse just made some teary laugh... :cry:

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