Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 35

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

  1. by   LauraMarieLPN
    An eldery patient was admitted for etoh withdraw, the MD order was:
    1 can beer q meal and HS.

    The patient's family thought the doc had lost his marbles.
  2. by   LauraMarieLPN
    Oh it happens more than I think we realize. I had a patient who was conveniently admitted every Thanksgiving and Christmas with constipation for more than 3 years. She has since passed. God rest her soul.
  3. by   LauraMarieLPN
    Quote from RN-NICU
    One of my favorites...... 3H enema.... High, hot, and hell of alot.
    For the chronically constipated pt, I guess.

    Sounds like the first time I came across an order for:
    Milk and molasses enema PR.

    When I questioned the doc, he replied, "Just don't make cookies".
  4. by   LauraMarieLPN
    This is not an order that was written but a question I was asked.
    I was precepting an LPN student. She came to me and asked, "Should I feed the unconcious patient in 628"? I very patiently replied "No, she's nonresponsive, she's dying." She replied, "Don't unconcious, dying patients eat?"
  5. by   LauraMarieLPN
    Quote from santhony44
    "Purulent" works just fine. Of course, you could also chart it the way we were taught in school, and just describe it: thick yellow/green/white/whatever exudate.

    OK, back on topic: a neurosurgery PA wrote for a vaginal yeast infection cream something like "tid." The nurses told him that it's generally used at bedtime for seven days. "Oh, I don't remember all that woman stuff, just write it the way it's supposed to be used!" The charge nurse changed it but did enjoy teasing him about it.
    I've seen "*****" drainage charted many times. I always wonder if they read what they charted and interpreted like everyone else following them was going to.
  6. by   LauraMarieLPN
    Quote from Laurel RN
    We had a real jerk of a doctor who would right things like:

    Box of Kleenex to bedside STAT
    I worked with 2 MD's in particular who never spoke to the nursing staff but always had one snide order or another to write in the orders.
    I contributed it to their "God Complex".
  7. by   can'twait2B1
    No joke our Doc who is a big teddy bear and is loved by all of us coined a new diagnosis, not once but numerous times. Hypo and Hyper Potassiemia, I guess he was absent the day his terminology class went over hypokalemia and hyperkalemia.
  8. by   uraqt2
    I kid you not I was working a swing shift when a woman came into the ER requesting a UA due to the fact she had a nightmare. When questioned why she'd want this done over a nightmare she simply stated that this had happened before and she was told if it ever happened again that she needed to get a UA done immediately. Our ER doc couldn't get any other response so he actually wrote the order "obtain UA r/t pts. nightmares" Come to find out she did have a UTI and had been advised by a previous doc that if she became symptomatic again to be checked out, well the pt. associated her symptoms with nightmares.
  9. by   dorie43rn
    We were shaking our heads on this order just the other evening:
    Go ahead and resume lasix.

  10. by   Natkat
    Funny looking kid is an actual diangosis - or more of a description. There is a congenital disease called Aarskog syndrome. Children who have it will have a very strange looking face. In the old days when doctors would see this they would describe the child as having FLK syndrome until more testing could be done to confirm the diagnosis. It wasn't meant to be mean or pejorative. I used to be a coder many years ago and there was even a diagnosis code for it. It has since been changed.

    HOWEVER, there was a joke running around that the leading cause of FLK is FLP - funny looking parents.

    As for the 86 year old woman visting her parents - I recently had a patient who is 79-80 or therabouts who came to dialysis feeling depressed because he just found out they were going to put his Mom in a nursing home.

    I once saw a chief complaint of "sick" on an emergency room report.
  11. by   nurseannika
    It was in July. the Res wrote an order which said to "change sheets". What a POS.
  12. by   ArmyKitten
    We have a staff doc that is nearing 105 and now finds his daily joy in writing orders in the most creative manor possible. His latest creation is writing "squeezies to legs" instead of SCDs. This is the same doc that draws a smiley face on the steristrips of every surgical patient he has. Last week I noticed that not only did he draw a smiley face on a lap appy pt, but he made a speech bubble on the steristrip next to it with the word "ouch" written in. Oh my.

  13. by   psalm
    Was that a misprint, a doc nearing 105? What hospital is this in?