10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for - page 7

Very, very funny and true! If I may add one more: "Spread open your legs so I can insert this "(foley cath)... Read More

  1. by   grace90
    how about "Can you flush him for me?" (referring to a PICC/CVC)
  2. by   iluvnurses25
    If you had sex before this shouldn't hurt a bit.
  3. by   gonzo1
    More please. I'm laughing my arse off.
  4. by   Logan

    This thread is funny! :chuckle

    matthew (Who has been laughing so hard his wife thinks he's gone crazy).
  5. by   shill
    How about, "I'm going to stick this in your mouth under your tongue, don't bite it, just hold it with your lips"...:imbar. as you go to take an oral temp..
  6. by   Nurse`Chief~Chickie
    you won't need your underwear, but you can leave you socks on.
  7. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    "How much tail do you want?" (asking a surgeon how much of the tail of a silicone ear patch he wants left on).
  8. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    "Suck for me" (suctioning for a surgeon)
  9. by   Tanvi Tusti
    "Open your legs for me and try to relax, it makes it so much easier for me to get it in and is much better for you".... my little speech when preparing a woman for her pap smear!! Never thought about how that sounds before now lol
  10. by   augigi
    "This may make you gag, but just try to swallow".

    Inserting NG tube.
  11. by   JBudd
    There isn't an orifice in the human body I haven't stuck a tube into.
  12. by   muffie
    roll up your sleeves and pull down your pants and lie down on the bed so i can do my thing
    [put in iv and shave groins]!
  13. by   ElvishDNP
    See if you can squeeze your nipple and get anything out.

    (trying to get a disinterested baby to latch on...)

    Please separate your knees so I can check you.