After searching for weeks for information online I have decided to create a post here in case someone else is in a similar situation, or finds themselves in one. I graduated from my LPN program and applied to the BON and paid all my dues to them and NCLEX as well. In answering regulatory questions, I answered yes to a history of alcohol/substance abuse. I wanted to be honest and transparent. After all, I do possess that "good moral character" that they claim to be looking for! I can't say this enough, I regret it. In hindsight, would the Board really of had a way of knowing that I was an alcoholic for several years? I decided better safe than sorry, after all with technology the way that it is, I didn't know if for instance they would know about a voluntary detox that was from just a wee over five years ago. They informed me (on live chat, because I asked) to send in a letter of explanation, any criminal charges/court documents/dui's, treatment completion information, etc etc). I told the lady none of this applied to me. I never got into any legal trouble during my battle with alcohol and there was only a voluntary detox from some years ago (I had to go get these records to find they were literally two months past being over fiver years! ugh). So, I sent in the record that shows admit/discharge dates, and a letter explaining that I have been completely sober for going on three years now. I am now a single mom, I do well in school, president of the honor society, and already in pursuit of my ADN. Naively, I believe that they are over there looking at my transcripts with my GPA and my letter of explanation, and spotless background check and going, "alright, get that ATT to her. nothing to see here." (I mean not really, but you know)
A couple of weeks later I receive a phone call from someone over VDAP. This person tells me that I am probably going to be placed in VDAP. If I don't do VDAP, then I will just be straight disciplined and have an encumbered license. Can't explain the confusion that followed. And the hurt that I still feel. I received a letter in the mail the next day (by the date, I should have received before the initial phone call) It tells me I am being investigated. I tried to ease my mind after receiving this. Surely, this would be looked into and I would be allowed to test without stipulations. After all, I told the woman I had done nothing wrong...how could they put me on probation and encumber my license when I had never even been licensed? I told her it was my understanding that VDAP was for nurses that are impaired and that VDAP was an alternative for them to make it to recovery...
The next week I receive a phone call from the same lady. She asks, have I made a decision. She provided me with no information during the initial phone call, nor presented me with a choice to be made! I told her I didn't know I was supposed to be making a choice and reiterated that I didn't feel this was appropriate and that I couldn't even agree to something such as VDAP at this time, to be allowed to test. My understanding VDAP comes with fines, drug monitoring (fine, but out of my pocket), stipulations on your hours, all sorts of nonsense. Again, I am told the only alternative is discipline. wot?!
I politely ask if there is someone else I can speak to (after all, this lady has been vague and speaks to me as if I have the plague). She calls me back on speaker phone with a board lawyer. Are you kidding me. I'm still preaching the same nonsense. I ask to be allowed to withdraw my application. Yeah. Because, as a single mom I am struggling to even keep my kid in daycare while I pursue my studies. This was supposed to be a great accomplishment alone, and help financially as I went further. As it turns out, doesn't look like that is the way it is going to go down because I "self-disclosed" she keeps telling me. Somewhere, evaluations are mentioned. I tell her I would love to be able to do that assuming that an evaluation would in fact prove that I am completely recovered but again--I don't have money for something like that! So, my hands are tied. Face this now, and wonder if my nursing program or any other program for that matter, would even accept me with my license having VDAP or being encumbered. Face it now and be forced into working a set amount of hours and no less and no more (after I found a job...as a brand new nurse....on probation/vdap). Pay out my rears fines for years. Before I can pursuit my RN.
My little girl. This was for me, but it is all especially for her. I am the only hope she has for a good life.
She says what I am doing is legal... and later in the conversation says they don't allow withdraw. I am still confused...are they telling me I am going to be forced to test--how can they even do that?
Another phone call that afternoon. Lawyer tells me there will be a hearing. I should be there. If not, they'll just reach default without me. That maybe they can "help". I'll receive a letter by mail. So, I will go to it, without an attorney because take a wild guess--can't afford that either!
I made a last call to them to make sure that my information was correct (as lawyer told me to on BON website- but the website only allows you to log in if you are already licensed). It is correct. And I try to obtain some information about what kind of hearing this is. Because everything I had found online (down to their website) was telling me this is a DISCIPLINARY hearing. I get forwarded to a chief investigator or something. He gets my information, pulls up "my stuff". He says, "so you are refusing VDAP and hearing?" (I recall him saying both). I'm astounded. I politely tell him that I have notrefused anything. I preach my same nonsense to him, about not being able to afford to deal with this at this time and that the only thing I have done at this point is short of beg the board to allow withdraw off my application so that I may continue to focus on my studies. That I cannot afford such a financial hardship at this time. That when I complete my ADN I will reapply, answering the questions in the same manner and try to fulfill what ever obligations the BON feels is necessary at that time. This guy seems to possess a bit of humility. He tells me to email him with another letter, tells me how to address the letter and what things to include in it (in regards to withdraw). And that he is going to take it to so-and-so and try to get this resolved.
I still just don't understand. I suspect that I will be getting a letter informing me of a hearing soon. I am going down there in the dark because I don't understand the legal ramifications or what they can and can't do. The only thing I can do is go down there preaching the same things. And then what? They encumber my license that has yet to exist?? They force me into an agreement? I feel like I am cornered and hog-tied.
I'm still so confused at how you can take a nursing graduate and discipline them without them actually having done anything. What I have read has told me these disciplinary actions are usually one size fits all. Which is crazy.
If you have a similar experience, please, share. If not here, message me. There is practically zero information out there for someone in predicament like this. And there should be. Because at what is supposed to be one of your happiest times in life...you've reached the light at the end of the tunnel- am I right?- and only to have that light ripped away from you and complete darkness.
catsmeow1972, BSN, RN
1,314 Posts
I guess that's good. Hopefully it's because someone figured out that threatening you like that was not a real smart idea. If I may ask what do you plan to do from here? If you apply at a later date, would they dig this up like a zombie thing?
My personal advice, for what it's worth, is to at least talk to a license defense lawyer. Usually they will do at least a consultation for free. Just have your notes together and make the most of that 15 minutes or so.
Stay strong. You've gotten this far.