I'm sorry, but I didn't realize I signed up to please the customer. While the nurses go around reminding the patients this is a hospital, not a hotel, we get notices that we SHOULD make these people feel like they're in a hotel. Or "even if you know they're wrong, you should apologize and let them know that they're right" THIS IS AN ACTUAL MEMO THAT APPEARED IN MY MAILBOX.
... oh but it gets worse.
I got tapped on the shoulder by the "hospital customer service rep" telling me this patient (customer) really really wants a milkshake and would really make her day if she could have a milkshake. And I tell this rep this patient just had a bowel resection yesterday and not only can she NOT have a milkshake, but she probably can't even have water, even ice, for the next couple days. I spend all day listening to this patient whine and complain, and now the hospital has provided her a rep to follow me out in the hallway to whine and complain. And neither of them can admit that although a milkshake would make the patient really happy for about 15 mins, going back to surgery and prolonging the recovery would not. I know there's a lot of things in the medical field that seem downright cruel. But if we go by "the customer is always right" keep the patient/customer happy, there will be consequences.
Should customer service be #1 priority? Or am I just being delusional believing that patient safety is more important than patient satisfaction?
It would be poor taste to quote myself, however, safety is the priority not service. While I understand the frustrations of patient's family for perceived slights and perhaps inadequate care...the questions that must be asked are if staffing is inadequate, how can we perform the basics when even the acute causes us to stretch beyond our capabilities?
Visiting should be curtailed on patients who are walkie/talkie and those who require little help. I would never leave an elderly family member or a child to be on their own-no one will care for your family like you. That's the reality....if families are unhappy then push for staffing, safety, volunteers in the community, volunteer yourself, but don't complain that nurses can't do it all.
There is no nurse I know that wouldn't like to spend time to get to know their patients, and or, to provide all around good nursing care. It isn't possible in this time of healthcare cut backs-CEOs say patient's are the priority, but lets face it....we all know it's the almighty dollar.
I am in favor of allowing family members to stay when in the nurses opinion it is in the best interest of the patient.
We have one charge who will only allow it if we have a high profile patient or someone with clout. I feel it should be the nurses decision, and the charge should back her up. If the family member causes a problem in caring for the patient then they should not be allowed to stay because their staying is no longer in the best interest of the patient. In the past when we had open access on our stepdown unit I have seen it both ways and with the new rules I have seen pts. who definately suffered because family could not stay. I don't think it was ever because my coworkers did not want to provide care, but it is impossible for one person to safely meet the needs of all our patients given the acuity level.
The things described by the family member on here are really unfortunate, but you know, even the best i can do, I have been guilty of the same. I hate it, but it has happened. It is grievious.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
meals are not free for visitors at any hospital i've heard of. as for entertainment, i find other things much more entertaining than having to go find a nurse that won't respond to the call button.
it's not fun sitting in a hospital to make sure your mom is cared for....especially when you're trying to fit in a job, your kids, housework, and other necessary evils.
someday, when you're caring for an elderly parent and you experience the same things i did, you'll understand. most of my friends have gone through the same thing with their parents...in different hospitals. it's widespread.
just because i'm not a nurse, don't assume that i know nothing of what the job involves. it doesn't matter....in any job, doing your job is required.
what makes you think i'm not caring for an elderly parent? actually, most of us here are sons, daughters, parents and siblings in addition to being nurses. we've all had the experience of caring for a sick child, parent, spouse or sibling. and, just in case you're interested, i *am* caring for an elderly parent who has alzheimer's.
just because you're not a nurse, i assume that you're not actually doing the job. therefore, you don't know about the stresses, families included. in fact, visitors are one of the biggest stressors in our job. but you don't get that. because you're not a nurse.
Meals are not free for visitors at any hospital I've heard of. As for entertainment, I find other things much more entertaining than having to go find a nurse that won't respond to the call button.
It's not fun sitting in a hospital to make sure your mom is cared for....especially when you're trying to fit in a job, your kids, housework, and other necessary evils.
Someday, when you're caring for an elderly parent and you experience the same things I did, you'll understand. Most of my friends have gone through the same thing with their parents...in different hospitals. It's widespread.
Just because I'm not a nurse, don't assume that I know nothing of what the job involves. It doesn't matter....in ANY job, DOING your job is required.
The problem with you adding anything to this thread is that you have absolutely no understanding what is required of any nurse, because you are not a nurse! Priorities are made and remade within minutes and a nurses best laid plans can be changed by one change in condition for the worse! WE NEVER GET IT EASIER, IT IS ALWAYS HARDER!
I have been on the other side of the bed and would recommend that family always remain with those unable to care for themselves. That's what family does....
Truthfully, you must ask yourself is a patient's need to toilet or experiencing a toileting accident is more important than someone who is coding, can't breathe or must have life-saving treatment. To that patient, it is....to us, it is a sad reality that we cannot be there when "lifesaving duty" or truly necessary duties calls. What most patients and their families fail to realize is that nursing has assumed many jobs that used to be done by physicians, we assume all responsibility for physician contact, and must note all changes in patients. NO ONE CAN HAVE EYES IN THE BACK OF THEIR HEAD AND SOMETHING WILL FALL THROUGH THE CRACKS!
We are college educated professionals who choose to care for patients, however none of the patients we receive are chosen by US. Patient assignments are not always fair....and administrations have no fear cutting back because they figure the nurses will just suck it up and work harder. If not, who's the bad guy?
There is always the option of private duty aides-then you can make sure you parent has 1:1 care. I have done it when necessary due to my work schedule...I would suggest it as an alternative for worried family members and it truly is a Godsend to know your family member will have professional care and someone at their side.
FINALLY, I MUST AGAIN STATE THE OBVIOUS....YOUR DISPLEASURE MUST BE AIMED AT LACK OF STAFFING IN THE FORM OF ANCILLARY STAFFING-AIDES TO ASSIST WITH TOILETING, FEED PATIENTS, AND CARE FOR THEIR BASIC NEEDS. WHILE AN EXPECTATION THAT IT IS PART OF NURSING'S TASKS-CRITICAL CARE WILL ALWAYS SUPERCEDE AND THOSE BASICS OF LIFE WILL GO UNDONE!
Ask your daughter what her priorities are and have to be when working....unless she works in ICU...in which case she only has two patients to care for....a far cry from the many on the floor and the ER!
Maisy
*A hard working, caring nurse who doesn't have eight arms; but wishes she did!
"it would be poor taste to quote myself,..........."not if it enhances understanding
".......... safety is the priority not service." only if that's been a possible problem
".......frustrations of patient's family for perceived slights need to be discussed with them
".......perhaps inadequate care..." isn't safe
" .... if staffing is inadequate, how can we perform the basics..." by hiring auxilliary staff
".... even the acute (?cases)causes us to stretch beyond our capabilities? unsafe
visiting should be curtailed on patients who are walkie/talkie and those who require little help. they are in need of more socialization than others who aren't as conscious!!!! ye gods!!!
i would never leave an elderly family member or a child to be on their own-no one will care for your family like you.
that's why keeping elderly patients at home, with help for adls when you need to go out, is optimal. it;sz much less expensive than board & cares, nursing homes, etc.
that's the reality....not necessarily, when good planning for care at home is in effect with hh nurses monitoring it
if families are unhappy then advocate with all the other staff members for better staffing, safety,that's why a lot of snfs and nursing homes have patients in wheelchairs (comfortably tied in if necessary), around the nursing station
volunteers in the community, if unlicensed, should not provide nursing care. check with insurance company
volunteer yourself, but don't complain that nurses can't do it all. it's better to know what the families' needs are, and make (real) effort to meet them
there is no nurse i know that wouldn't like to spend time to get to know their patients, and or, to provide all around good nursing care. oh, i've kn own many who just want to show up for their assigned shifts, and collect a paycheck
it isn't possible in this time of healthcare cut backs-ceos say patient's are the priority, but lets face it....we all know it's the almighty dollar. there needs to be a national formula that disallows excessive profit to be made, while skimping on services/staffing, for patients
maisy.
so many times, staff sees families as a threat to their job, when they ask the impossible. please analyse whether their needs can be met by adjusting the time of day when something can be done, rather than discouting a request as something coming from a demanding family member. they need to be seen as part of the health care team, in planning the care for the loved one.
i prefer to see families actively involved in nursing care at the facility to which they've entrusted the care of the patient, than the ones who dump a family member in one, wipe their hands of all subdequent care needs, and never (or seldom) visit......
I'm sorry that your mother had such a bad experience in the hospital. I have had the pleasure of both restricted and open visiting hours. I personally prefer the restricted visiting hours, here's why. When we had restricted visiting hours we were able to give the patient the much needed rest that they deserve...you need to rest to heal! If we had a patient that was crashing or actively dying we let the family members stay in the room with the door closed to give them privacy during this time, all the while checking on them every 1/2 hr - hr. We were able to do the procedures that we needed to in order to get the loved one better without all of the "expert advice" from family members that had NO CLUE what we were doing. The doctors could come in and visit/examine the patient without interruptions from family members. The majority of the family members were glad that no one could come in whenever they wanted and stay forever making the patient exhausted and taking longer to heal. These family members UNDERSTOOD and APPRECIATED the care that we nurses were doing for their loved ones. We had more families and patients saying "THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DID."
We did not have anywhere near the issues with patients, families, and visitors as we do now with open visiting hours. We have been open for 18 1/2 yrs now and it only gets worse instead of better. Now families bring in food and eat in front of the patients, talk non stop and very loudly, play with the tv turning it louder and louder because they can't hear themselves talk!!! Talk on their cell phones loudly even though they have been told numerous times that they can't use cell phones in ICU. This group of family members doesn't talk to that group of family members so when the DOCTOR writes the order for "15 minute visiting twice a day, 2 people at a time," it doesn't apply to the group that is there at the time it ONLY applies to the other group that they don't talk to; and to make sure THAT group doesn't overstay their welcome and limited visiting we need to bring in our pillows, blow up beds, sleeping bags, camping equipment because we are the police and that group can't be here longer than us. This way we can take over the ICU visitors lounge, classrooms, lobby, and prevent other family members from sitting down before they come in to see their loved ones. GIVE US A BREAK, GROW UP AND PUT YOUR BIG GIRL/BOY PANTIES ON and think about what you are doing to your loved one, not the fact that we are trying to care for them and you are in the freaking way!!!! If family members would stop thinking that the nurses are there at their beck and call, that the hospital is a hotel, refuse to listen when we say only 1 person call for info (that the patient will let us give out) and relay the info to the other 4-20 people in the family, and more importantly think that they are our ONLY patient and they know more/better than the nurses; then family members might actually see that we do know what we are doing and that we are actually caring for their loved one and doing everything we can to get them better within the constraints that administration has placed on us. The best one so far is the family that came to see their family member after surgery, was told they are allowed to stay in the waiting room and come in periodically to see the patient, but can't stay in the room (one of our smaller rooms) and they copped an attitude with us. "Those chairs are uncomfortable, I have had several back surgeries you know and can't sit in those chairs for long, I want this big chair out there with 2 pillows and blankets, do you have anything to eat it has been a while, you really don't expect me to wait in that room do you?" Yes we know those chairs are uncomfortable, but they are better than the ones we had before; NO I don't know your surgical history and right now don't care, you aren't my patient your family member is and is also MY NUMBER 1 PRIORITY; if your back is that bad then you need to go home and sleep in your own bed; NO you can't have that big chair out there it is for the patients when we get them out of bed, with them leaning on us because they are unable/unwilling to stand on their own 2 feet; NO you can't have 2 pillows and blankets...GO HOME, the pillows and blankets are for the patients not you!! Nope the food (limited) that we have is for the patients not you, if you are that hungry, again...GO HOME and eat your own food; YES I do expect you to go into that waiting room and stay there until we come get you after we are done with the care that we have to give to your loved one. Wait, wait, it gets better...you don't believe us so you go the the surgeon and say that you want to stay in the room 24/7. Thank God for the surgeon to come out and ask us if this is allowed, and for him to get upset because you went to him behind our backs when we explain visiting hours and why families don't stay in the ICU rooms AND that we have told you that for the past 3 days that you have asked the same question...no our answer didn't change because you got the surgeon to ask. Unfortunately you will have some nurses that don't care, and they are everywhere, but don't blame all of us for the few that give us a black eye. We are trying to get them to clean up their acts, sometimes it just takes longer than we would like. We are trying to go back to restricted visiting hours and the DOCTORS reluctantly agreed to have the unit closed for one hour in the morning and at night when we are giving shift report. You are given a brochure with the visiting hours and all of the info about ICU...why haven't you read it????? Why are you getting pissy with us because we tell you that you can't come in during shift report? Why are you coming up to the desk to listen to report on the other patients after being told to leave (politely, I might add), then stand there when we quit talking because of HIPPA just so you can chit chat with us? GO AWAY, let us talk to the next shift without all of the interruptions and stupid requests..."she needs her tissues" (they are right there move the table back where we had it so she can reach them); can you give him something to drink he is so thirsty (weren't you listening to the million times that we told you no he can't have anything to drink or eat); can you give him his tv control (where did you put it, we had it right near his hand); she needs her pain medicine...for the 20th time...IT'S TOO SOON, when it's time we will bring it in.
i am not a nurse, but i just spent the last 10 years caring for my elderly parents, which necessitated a lot of time with them in hospitals. 10 continuous years?
it really bothered me to read the posts about limiting visiting time. we tried to keep at least one member of our family with my parents at all times, because the quality of care they got from the nursing staff was often horrible!
visits from family are essential for patients' well being. however, it's important that family members who are known disturbance makers, - you know who they are.......are told by other family members that short (5 min.) visits are more appreciated and helpful, and that they shouldn't speak so that those all down the hall will hear them. noise can disturb many patients, even the hoh, wearing their hearing aids.
some examples: my mother had bypass surgery, and the next day she still could not even sit up in bed without assistance. her lunch was brought up to her room by the dietitician, that's special treatment, as trays usually come to a unit and the nursing staff deliver them, and arrange bedding, etc. shortly afterward, so that patients who feed themselves can manage that.....and was left by her bedside...out of reach. it sat there for two hours without a nurse even checking on my mother to see if she needed assistance. had she been in x-ray, the wc, or anywhere else when the tray was brought? in that case, it should have been placed in the warming cabinet in which the trays should be delivered. mom hadn't eaten in almost two days and was very hungry, but had to lie there with the food out of reach. she rang for the nurse, but they were doing a shift change, and said that they couldn't help her for an hour, at minimum. that's when i'd recommend pulling the call bell wiring from the wall!! where were you at that time, by the way? the time spent with patients who have surgery, is best spent while they're in their rooms, not while they're in surgery and recovery areas. if you needed to be at work, that would have been a good time to be there, if you could get to your mother's bedside within an hour or so in an emergency.
another example. my mom (heart patient) was not allowed to get up without assistance, so she rang for the nurse to help her go to the restroom. it was 45 minutes before the nirse came, at which time my mother was sitting, wet, cold and miserable, in a pool of urine. how humiliating for her! this is not an excuse for the nurse, but a reason for this travesty: often nurses are so busy, because labor laws in existance for many decades haven't been observed and hospitals get away with that, which is the reason they're poorly staffed. it's our own fault that we have to go 4 hours without making our own bathroom stops, most times (believe it or not, i've known of nurses to be incontinent due to putting their own needs on a "back burner". we also abuse our own bodies by missing meals (or making fries and ranch dressing a "meal" due to unrealistic work loads, by missing nutritious meals. unions have given up getting those basic needs met, as nurses think that it's no big deal! so their minds don't recognize anyone's need to go to the bathroom as urgent.
if you or a family member is in a hospital, tell them to yell "diarrhea!" very loudly and desperately over the intercom, if their call for assistance to the wc is ignored. believe me they'll have someone at their bedside in seconds. then they should refuse a bedpan, as the exercise of going to the br is essential following surgery. they should flush the toilet before the nurse comes back and say, "oh i didn't think you'd want to see it! whew!"
if the nurse doesn't return to assist them back to bed, for a half hour, pull the emergency cord. that's what it's there for. (hmmmm, i think i may write a patient's hospital survival guide.....)
another example. my mom is on blood thinnners. a lab tech came and drew blood, but did not apply pressure to the draw site. what, no pressure bandage, as they're trained to apply? that's a reason to have a discussion/make a complaint to the lab supervisor! she left the room, and my mom had blood dripping from her arm. it's always the one time a pressure bandage isn't applied, that it happens....she rang for the nurse, and it was 30 minutes later before one came. there was a large puddle of blood on the bed, floor, and my mom's gown by that time. she's anemic, and this blood loss certainly didn't help her condition. another instance when pulling the call bell wire from the wall, is indicated. these days, being a "squeekie wheel" is the only way to prevent these exmples of inadequate care. being a good - that is, an uncomplaining patient/family member can be harmful. each patient should be treated as a vip (very important person).
for patients on a heart ward, how can a nurse go hours without checking on their patients??? easily, when their own physical needs and many other patients' more urgent needs have to be met. any employee needs care by their employer, and to be reported when the needs of patients aren't met sufficiently.
if family members weren't there to help my mom to the restroom, help her with her food, make sure her insulin arrived when the meal did, etc, my mom would had a horrible quality of life when in the hospital. that's becoming more frequent, and it has 2 sides, one being that families need to be included when nurses plan patients' care, and their suggestions/complaints heard. :argue: the way shown at the left isn't an effective way to correct this
often a nursing care plan (which is made for every patient and should be different for each one, then have charting that recognizes goals mentioned in it) isn't shared with family or explained to them, which can be why diabetic patients need for sugar restriction, and heart patients' needs for salt restriction are ignored by families who bring food to their family members.
visual aids that have been seen by the nurses at inservice sessions, that give the reason for dietary corrective measures, need to be shown for the patient and their families. just having an educational channel available (if no other tv program looks watchable) doesn't meet the need. dr. oz has fabulous visual descriptions of diabetic body functions, and being a visual learner, i love them - sort of like the ones on tv's "house".
the nurses say that they are understaffed...but when you go to the nurses' station and see them standing around discussing a party they attended, it's obvious that their dedication is severely at question.
no nurse should ever be seen dallying at the nurses' station, when they're expected to be meeting patients' needs. either supervision is lacking there, or they could have been discussing a patient's aberant reaction to a medication........ that could sound like a party, with staff volunteering information about previous occasions when that might have happened.
nurses usually have their patients' needs at heart, but if they've worked short staffed very long, and haven't had recognition of their own needs by the management of the hospital, they "burn out", appearing not to care at all.
that's when a family member should go to the head of nursing and administration to discuss accepted ratios of nurses: patients. by adopting an attitude that these elements in hospital experiences can be resolved is necessary. when everyone has the intention that it will be successful, it is.
whenever you wonder what the intention was, look at the situation as it exists.
There are universal issues that have left us floundering in (urine?, hunger? attitude of "nothing can change"?).....
Well, things can and should change when we all get behind the Reform of Health Care!! The ruling entities of hospitals have applied their greed, that resulted in our, and our patients' neglect. the time is now! Those who can and will change things for the better, is us.
Nurses need to be well informed about the bill, even though it transforms every time it enters and exits the 2 houses, with some outrageous demand(s) met of "special interest" politicians. It's a starting point, not an end in itself. I've been watching CNN's coverage of the angry Tea Partiers", with whom I'd never agree. They want the status quo, not change; and sound very misinformed!!
Don't take others' opinion about it! Go online and see it for yourself, then contact your Representatives and Senators with your opinion/input/frustrations!
Examples of well phrased letters to them can be found at OFA.com Organising for America).
You can get a pin to wear, as I do, that says, "Another Nurse for Reform of Health".
"...........to give the patient the much needed rest that they deserve...you need to rest to heal! how do you "give rest", other than just leaving them alone?
"............. family members that had no clue what we were doing. clue them in, then!
the doctors could come in and visit/examine the patient without interruptions from family members. it's important to have the patients' permission for a family member to be present, and if it helps a patient deal with what they have to go through, and the family member looks up to the task of seeing gross things they may not have, before - what's wrong with that? patient care plans need to include whether or not family can be present then, for support. if the doctor doesn't want that, i say "too bad", and "give that doctor remedial education regarding the importance of having supportive family present when in pain, if that's what the patirnt wants. better still, suggest that he/she and the family read elizabeth kubler-ross's books.
the majority of the family members were glad that no one could come in whenever they wanted and stay forever making the patient exhausted on what did you base an assessment that it was the presence of family members that caused fatigue? illness and certainly surgery, causes that! and taking longer to heal. please present scientific articles that demonstrate that.
these family members understood and appreciated the care that we nurses were doing for their loved ones. or did they have other things to do, and you gave them permission to leave the patient?
we had more families and patients saying "thank you for all you did." more than what? how genuine that is, depends on whether they could be patients on your unit at another time, or simply their upbringing....
we did not have anywhere near the issues with patients, families, and visitors as we do now with open visiting hours. of course! when they're not there, they're invisible, and possibly plotting what they'll do to undermine your care. we have been open for 18 1/2 yrs now and it only gets worse instead of better. now families bring in food and eat in front of the patients, talk non stop and very loudly, play with the tv turning it louder and louder were they told not to do that? and that if it continued, security would usher them outdoors?
they can't hear themselves talk!!! talk on their cell phones loudly even though they have been told numerous times that they can't use cell phones in icu. one time is enough before kicking them out. then reinforce that if they don't leave, by calling security (out of their hearing), and don't become argumentative with them. signs proclaiming the prohibition of talking on cell phones, or talking loudly are necessary. this group of family members doesn't talk to that group of family members so when the doctor writes the order for "15 minute visiting twice a day, 2 people at a time," if an order contradicts the policy of the department, it is cancelled! that needed to be reviewed in the committee shortly afterward.
surely nurses aren't the hospitality committee for visiors. let the doctor tell the visitors, rather than think writing an outrageous order for you, applies to the visitors. orders are clearly for patients, not family members. disciplining family who are on hospital turf, isn't to be considered, and bad behavior not tolerated by anyone, not for a second!
nurses' roles don't include policing. that's what security is for, and they have reinforcements to call in if needed. expressed anger usually accelerates unlawful behavior. signs denoting regulations that affect visitors, and printed notices for take home study occasionally work, and can be used as evidence that they had needed information, if someone takes your attitude as something that requires their jousting skills.
report? i agree that if there are no enclosed spaces for visitors, a sign on the icu door and a lock in place that doesn't allow access to visitors during report and when routine assessments that need to be made at each shift's start, are done, is very much needed.
sorry this is so long...had to vent.
great rant!! do you feel better, and have you figured out a way (other than banishing cooperative family members altogether)? most icus allow visitors one at a time for 10 minutes, and a rest with no one of at least 15 minutes in between them; and no food or cell 'phones seemed reasonable. how did it get so out of hand? it just takes allowance of one infraction.......
meals are not free for visitors at any hospital i've heard of.you'd be surprised what people manage to finagle, then. just because things aren't advertised doesn't mean they aren't *expected* and *demanded.* as for entertainment, i find other things much more entertaining than having to go find a nurse that won't respond to the call button. again, you'd be surprised.
it's not fun sitting in a hospital to make sure your mom is cared for then don't. ....especially when you're trying to fit in a job, your kids, housework, and other necessary evils.
someday, when you're caring for an elderly parent and you experience the same things i did, you'll understand. experience and perception are often intertwined, and somewhere in the middle lies the truth. most of my friends have gone through the same thing with their parents then it would stand to reason many (or most) of us that post here have taken care of elderly parents (or other family members) too, wouldn't you think?...in different hospitals. it's widespread.
just because i'm not a nurse, don't assume that i know nothing of what the job involves. it doesn't matter....in any job, doing your job is required. i don't have to assume....i know you don't know. there is no way you can. period. the very fact that we're doing our jobs is what you think we're doing wrong (prioritizing, which may mean, unfortunately, that the more basic (read: less immediate) cares for your mother need to get pushed back a bit.)
i know i shouldn't feed it. but i don't like our vent threads getting stepped on.
To the person who is not a nurse and trying to put guilt on us all.....GO AWAY!
Unless you have something constructive to add (which I haven't seen yet) and actually listen to what the nurses are saying on this thread theres no point in you posting here at all.
Family members can be incredibly helpful to nurses. The venting on this thread is not aimed at the average family member.
The discussion is about the family members who are obnoxious, get in the way of us trying to do our job properly and are disruptive to other patients in the hospital.
And in the US (thank goodness this customer service crap doesn't yet exist in public hospitals in Australia) it seems that nurses are expected to go out of their way even to the detriment of patient care to appease these self entitled people. I've even heard of nurses baking cookies.....wtf?
I'm sorry your mother has had poor care. But instead of interrupting our vent thread you need to write a letter to the hospital or care facility to outline your concerns about your mothers care. Don't whinge about it, do something about it.
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!!! Talk on their cell phones loudly even though they have been told numerous times that they can't use cell phones in ICU. This group of family members doesn't talk to that group of family members so when the DOCTOR writes the order for "15 minute visiting twice a day, 2 people at a time," it doesn't apply to the group that is there at the time it ONLY applies to the other group that they don't talk to; and to make sure THAT group doesn't overstay their welcome and limited visiting we need to bring in our pillows, blow up beds, sleeping bags, camping equipment because we are the police and that group can't be here longer than us. This way we can take over the ICU visitors lounge, classrooms, lobby, and prevent other family members from sitting down before they come in to see their loved ones. GIVE US A BREAK, GROW UP AND PUT YOUR BIG GIRL/BOY PANTIES ON and think about what you are doing to your loved one, not the fact that we are trying to care for them and you are in the freaking way!!!!
If family members would stop thinking that the nurses are there at their beck and call, that the hospital is a hotel, refuse to listen when we say only 1 person call for info (that the patient will let us give out) and relay the info to the other 4-20 people in the family, and more importantly think that they are our ONLY patient and they know more/better than the nurses; then family members might actually see that we do know what we are doing and that we are actually caring for their loved one and doing everything we can to get them better within the constraints that administration has placed on us. The best one so far is the family that came to see their family member after surgery, was told they are allowed to stay in the waiting room and come in periodically to see the patient, but can't stay in the room (one of our smaller rooms) and they copped an attitude with us. "Those chairs are uncomfortable, I have had several back surgeries you know and can't sit in those chairs for long, I want this big chair out there with 2 pillows and blankets, do you have anything to eat it has been a while, you really don't expect me to wait in that room do you?" Yes we know those chairs are uncomfortable, but they are better than the ones we had before; NO I don't know your surgical history and right now don't care, you aren't my patient your family member is and is also MY NUMBER 1 PRIORITY; if your back is that bad then you need to go home and sleep in your own bed; NO you can't have that big chair out there it is for the patients when we get them out of bed, with them leaning on us because they are unable/unwilling to stand on their own 2 feet; NO you can't have 2 pillows and blankets...GO HOME, the pillows and blankets are for the patients not you!! Nope the food (limited) that we have is for the patients not you, if you are that hungry, again...GO HOME and eat your own food; YES I do expect you to go into that waiting room and stay there until we come get you after we are done with the care that we have to give to your loved one. Wait, wait, it gets better...you don't believe us so you go the the surgeon and say that you want to stay in the room 24/7. Thank God for the surgeon to come out and ask us if this is allowed, and for him to get upset because you went to him behind our backs when we explain visiting hours and why families don't stay in the ICU rooms AND that we have told you that for the past 3 days that you have asked the same question...no our answer didn't change because you got the surgeon to ask. Unfortunately you will have some nurses that don't care, and they are everywhere, but don't blame all of us for the few that give us a black eye. We are trying to get them to clean up their acts, sometimes it just takes longer than we would like. We are trying to go back to restricted visiting hours and the DOCTORS reluctantly agreed to have the unit closed for one hour in the morning and at night when we are giving shift report. You are given a brochure with the visiting hours and all of the info about ICU...why haven't you read it????? Why are you getting pissy with us because we tell you that you can't come in during shift report? Why are you coming up to the desk to listen to report on the other patients after being told to leave (politely, I might add), then stand there when we quit talking because of HIPPA just so you can chit chat with us? GO AWAY, let us talk to the next shift without all of the interruptions and stupid requests..."she needs her tissues" (they are right there move the table back where we had it so she can reach them); can you give him something to drink he is so thirsty (weren't you listening to the million times that we told you no he can't have anything to drink or eat); can you give him his tv control (where did you put it, we had it right near his hand); she needs her pain medicine...for the 20th time...IT'S TOO SOON, when it's time we will bring it in.
MAISY, RN-ER, BSN, RN
1,082 Posts
It would be poor taste to quote myself, however, safety is the priority not service. While I understand the frustrations of patient's family for perceived slights and perhaps inadequate care...the questions that must be asked are if staffing is inadequate, how can we perform the basics when even the acute causes us to stretch beyond our capabilities?
Visiting should be curtailed on patients who are walkie/talkie and those who require little help. I would never leave an elderly family member or a child to be on their own-no one will care for your family like you. That's the reality....if families are unhappy then push for staffing, safety, volunteers in the community, volunteer yourself, but don't complain that nurses can't do it all.
There is no nurse I know that wouldn't like to spend time to get to know their patients, and or, to provide all around good nursing care. It isn't possible in this time of healthcare cut backs-CEOs say patient's are the priority, but lets face it....we all know it's the almighty dollar.
Maisy.