And He Will Die... - page 2
Words that are heard by many family members when a catastrophic event is going on in a bed nearby. The lifeline they have held on so firmly is being cut by a doctor who knows the physiological... Read More
May 3, '12Joined: May '12; Posts: 1; Likes: 2Amazing article. This sums up the best and worst days of my career as an ICU nurse all in one article. As I make a career change in the next month, I pray I can take this knowledge with me. The pain I have felt for/with the many families I have cared for has often been unbearable...and not once has someone asked how I was...it has been a heavy load to carry. I have been determined to not "die," and from the very beginning I knew what type of nurse I would always strive to be; Compassionate, caring and ever present for my patients and their families.*
May 3, '12Specialty: 31 year(s) of experience in PICU, NICU, L&D, Public Health, Hospice ; Joined: Jul '09; Posts: 4,870; Likes: 8,270I am, as we read this thread, endeavoring to start and build a hospice that DOES pay attention and take care of the cummulative grief of the staff.
Thank you for your insight and wise words.
May 4, '12Joined: Sep '07; Posts: 5,880; Likes: 21,844Kathy,
That was so beautifully written. As nurses, we grieve with our patients and their families, but we often take that grief with us when we go home at the end of the shift. It is a privilege to help these families face the death of their loved one, but we also need care and comfort. Thank you for so eloquently sharing your experience with us.
May 4, '12Joined: Apr '02; Posts: 32,053; Likes: 21,386Thank you for this, Kathy.
So true, so real, so heartfelt.
May 7, '12Occupation: RN and blogger extraordinaire Specialty: 20 year(s) of experience in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych ; From: OR, US ; Joined: Sep '02; Posts: 27,016; Likes: 45,010Kathy.........did you know you are a brilliant writer?
May 20, '12From: IL, US ; Joined: May '09; Posts: 239; Likes: 316Kathy,
Very poignant article.
It is funny, as I read this with tears streaming down my face remembering my moms last days, I am also remembering every nurse that stood by us. The doctors would run in and out and talk to us (especially myself being a nurse and my sister who often came in her right after work as an EEG tech), ignoring our mom or treating her as if she were senile. So not true. The doctors often coming unprepared, not even bothering to read her chart or get lab results before entering her room thinking they could breeze in and out and be treated as Gods. You should have seen their faces when they were not and when they were left off the hook by 2 daughters that knew better.
But the nurses, they knew. They gave us respect knowing that we knew, but also so so so much compassion. The tender loving care that they showed not only her but to us, 3 grieving daughters was remarkable. There were some things that were done wrong by some of the doctors and they knew it and they stood by us even when it cost them. They stood by me when the guilt that consumed me because I, a nurse that has been by the side of many many passing into the next world, could not save my own mom. They saw it, and they were there to help alleviate it. As a family member they were there for me, but also, they were there for me as a fellow nurse. And they were able to distinguish between the 2 when I could not be one of these, but got lost in the other. They were there for me. And without saying many words, but in anticipation of my needs. Very quietly were there, almost hovering as they saw my heart break and my professional demeanor shatter and crumble to the floor. They even understood and faught for us to keep her intubated for one extra day...you see, the day they wanted to extubate her was on my sons 11th birthday...and they knew that we 'celebrated' his 10th with the passing of my uncle and knew that it just wouldn't be right to have his birthday marked with yet another death. So they faught the doctor's and administration to keep her on for yet another day.
And on that day, still in denial and shock of the passing of this wonderful, healthy, strong woman that was our mother, they did not rush us out of the room. They did not hover waiting for us to leave. Instead, they allowed all of her children to come to say goodbye and there are 8 of us and with several dozen grandchildren. There were even nurses and doctors that were off that day, that after calling to check on her condition and found out that she passed, came to the hospital to say their goodbyes. I will never forget these nurses, men and women, collegues that supported us, faught for us, loved with us. Never.
May 23, '12Joined: Jan '10; Posts: 2,358; Likes: 3,117if we had a contest this article would a contender without a doubt. thank you for sharing such enlighten view of our silent moments that some call blessing angels.....aloha~