Bullying

1. How do you guys deal with nurse bullying, unsupportive co-workers, ones that undermine your judgements constantly?
2. 

   About xyzrn29

   Joined: Mar '18; Posts: 2
   Specialty: 1 year(s) of experience

   12 Comments

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3. 
   Mar 11

   Joined: Mar '15; Posts: 2,452; Likes: 8,559

   In 17 years of nursing I have never been bullied so I wouldn't know - good luck to you though!
   
   Hppy
4. 
   Mar 13

   Joined: Jul '14; Posts: 394; Likes: 1,336

   I've seen it a few times. It's been attempted on me a few times also. I put a fat stop on that and taught the offending pig how to treat me. Next....
5. 
   Mar 14

   Joined: Sep '11; Posts: 2,574; Likes: 13,251

   Focus on your work. Don't let petty crap register on your radar. The better you get at what you do, the harder it is for anyone to throw you off your stride. You go to work to take care of the patients, not get in personality conflicts or power struggles with your coworkers. If anything happens that undermines patient care, write an incident report. If after several months it's just a crap workplace no matter what you do, start looking for a new job.
6. 
   Mar 15

   Joined: Aug '01; Posts: 1,681; Likes: 2,676

   I'm a bit confused. Bullying involves some kind of coercion, through verbal threats or physical intimidation. Coworkers who are unpleasant and question your judgment are not great to work with, but this isn't bullying.
7. 
   Mar 16

   Joined: Nov '16; Posts: 352; Likes: 1,044

   Rise above drama. It's pointless. However if someone is intentionally harassing you, stick up for yourself and put an end to it.
8. 
   Mar 17

   Specialty: 10 year(s) of experience ; Joined: Feb '17; Posts: 6; Likes: 7

   Recognized as definition of workplace bullying in a court of law in 2014:
   
   Workplace Bullying is repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators. It is abusive conduct that is :
   
   *Threatening, humiliating, or intimidating, or
   
   *Work interference - sabotage - which prevents work from getting done, or
   
   *Verbal abuse
9. 
   Mar 17

   Joined: Jun '02; Posts: 14,213; Likes: 59,589

   I'm sure bullying exists. I've worked with two bullies. In four decades at the bedside. If it's happening to you repeatedly, then you need to check what you bring to the interactions.
10. 
    Mar 20

    Joined: Jan '17; Posts: 886; Likes: 1,020

    Confront it head on. Call the game. Turn it on its head and make a joke. If you wither and die, they will continue doing it.
11. 
    Mar 20

    Joined: Dec '11; Posts: 14; Likes: 2

    It could be a form of bullying but would depend on the person's intent which we would have no idea unless we crawled inside the brain! Good point though! I say this because as a nurse working as part of a team effort to care for our patients we should try to understand and respect each other's efforts. Nursing is not all black and white and in fact there are many gray areas and various conclusions can be made concerning a patient's condition.
12. 
    Mar 21

    Specialty: 1 year(s) of experience ; Joined: Mar '18; Posts: 2

    Thank you everyone for your valuable suggestions.
13. 
    Mar 30

    Joined: Dec '16; Posts: 33; Likes: 16

    Quote from Orca

    I'm a bit confused. Bullying involves some kind of coercion, through verbal threats or physical intimidation. Coworkers who are unpleasant and question your judgment are not great to work with, but this isn't bullying.

    I was verbally and physically bullied when I was a kid. With social media, it has evolved. In the younger generation, I've run across many who have lost sensitivity to real-life social cues and don't even have basic respect for those they should have respect for (elders, parents, teachers, authority figures, other people in general). Likewise, sensitivity to this lack of respect has also gotten touchier. Not to mention, they are emboldened by not having to deal with an actual physical reaction (we know how much of communication is non-verbal). THIS aspect I have seen carry over into even the "older" generations that should know better. People who would never have said the kind of things they do on social media in person, are carrying it over into the "real world".
    
    All that said, when people go out of their way to step on your actions or judgement simply because they can or think you won't do anything about it--that's a lighter form of bullying. No, not to the extent that most would call it, but, someone using some aspect of their position, size, or personality to deliberately make someone else feel uncomfortable, IS being a bully.
    
    I look younger than I am. Typically when asked, people think I'm around 30 or so, when in fact, I'm almost 43 and am already retired from the military. I've had a few jobs where people thought they were gonna screw with the new guy. Now, I expect that to a certain extent. I've even done it to others--its a right of passage. But, trying to intimidate me just because you get some jollies from it--NOT HAVING IT.
    
    I think the best thing to do is have a conversation with the person causing you a problem. Be open, but, polite and respectful--make it clear that you are serious about just wanting to get to the root of the problem. "Do you have a problem with me?" "Have I done something to upset you?" Give examples of why you feel that way. BE RESPECTFUL and look them in the eye.
    
    These are completely reasonable questions. If the individual(s) you are talking about are actually participating in some kind of 'pushing you around' just because they can, there's a good chance they'll be taken aback by your boldness and it might just stop for your asking. On the other hand, be prepared to eat some crow. Someone might just be trying to see what you're made of--assessing you. If that's what they're doing, you might get a little crap for your confrontation. If this happens, you'd better make sure that they understand that you were just making sure because you couldn't decipher what was going on and take ownership--you just didn't want to be causing a problem.
    
    The point is, gather up your courage and just talk to them. Hope you get it figured out...
14. 
    Apr 14

    Occupation: RN From: AZ, US ; Joined: Sep '03; Posts: 1,667; Likes: 134

    On bullies....honestly I had not seen or experienced it until 30 years into my career. It seems as we started getting mixed generations it has become more frequent. Also a turn over in nurse managers....4 in less than 5 years.
    
    I honestly just try to come to work and do the best possible job I can. I try to stay away from gossip...rarely eat or break with coworkers because of the gossip. Even then peer evaluations can trip you. All you can control is your own reaction.
    
    Stay strong!

    Last edit by kitty29 on Apr 14 : Reason: Soellung

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