Nursing & Depression

[carpe_de_em]

While visiting in the lounge one day, we discovered that every nurse there was on an anti-depressant.

I have had 'Treatment Resistant Depression' for about 20 years--as long as I've been a nurse. Now I am totally burned out, on major meds, and am seeking disability d/t depression/anxiety.

I beleive years of long hours, high stress, high expectations and little appreciation (from management, not patients) has contributed to this.

How many other jobs consider you a tratior b/c you call in sick? And trying to get off for a sick child is an unforgivable sin. How many other jobs want you to work overtime on the days you are scheduled, call you at all hours of the night or day when you are off, first pleading w/ you to come in, then laying a guilt trip on you if you say "NO!" And let's not forget the mandatory inservices and CEU's that take time away from your family.

If any profession should understand the importance of the individuals' physical, mental, social and spiritual self it should be nursing--after all we are taught in nursing school about treating the patient as a whole, not just a disease! Why don't we treat our staff the same way.

Anyone out there in the same boat?

[sphinx, BSN, RN]

Thanks Youda.......well, I'll be 35 next year, but was hoping to stay 34, so I guess I may never get that patience, lol. Let me tell you, I felt so bad about that appointment, wishing I'd never had the surgery even so that I didn't reschedule to begin with. I was sitting there in my car with leaking eyes, hoping no one was bothering to look in my window. When they turned usa round, I was thinking it must have been an overturned chemical truck or something, and felt so bad when I heard someone died, like here I am bawling about a missed apointment,, but this iinocent person was kiiled for God's sake!! I mean, just driving along and wham, life is over! Well, I am glad he is willing to get me in this week, because I just can't wait till week after next....things have been too bad for that, recently. And rescheduling for my son was no problem either, I can ge him in Thusday at 9, will just have to bring him late to school, which I'm sure won't bother him anyway, haha. My other son is the one giving us such a hard time these days, and am wondering if perhaps I should see if Vince's therapist can take on another patient! His older brother, he will be 14 in January.......he failed 6th grade and so took it again last year, and is now in 7th. He did great last year, but is up the the same old crap again this year: He's smart, but doesn't work....specifically homework. We came up with several strategies last year that worked very well, but he's found ways around them, to where he can lie and tell us he did homework, when he didn't. (I'd explain our system and where it is failing, but it's a long story). We've tried several things to get him back, but not having much luck. He had a 65 and a 63 on 2 majjor classes, 80's in the other 2. He got a whopping 23 in home and careers. I have been so upset about all this, thank goodness my husband is a voice of sanity! (usually, haha)

Anyway, I best be off........time to swish and swallow (ack).

bye all.

[KarenKidsRN]

I just discovered this thread this week and am really happy to see it ( Ok I don't come here real often) Just have to share some of my story. I think I have probably had clinical depression in some form or another since childhood, definitely had my first full blown depressive episode at age 16. Long family history that I never even knew about. An aunt hospitalized and treated with ECT back in the 40s. A schizophrenic uncle. An agoraphopic grandmother. My family moved acress the country when I was young and there wasn't a lot of contact with relatives, so my folks never told me all this until after I was diagnosed at age 39, while going through a divorce and being too close to the edge of wanting to commit suicide.

I think the nursing profession with it's stress and 12 hour night shifts were definite contributors to my depression and divorce.

I have learned the hard way NEVER to tell anyone I work with about my psychiatric history, diagnosis, or meds. the stigma is still intense, especially in the critical care areas and trying to educate people unfortunatley is next to impossible when their mind is already made up. Depression is one of those things that cannot be understood by someone who hasn't experienced it.

I had an incident at a former job where I was falsely accused of something by one of the MDs and the nurse mananger decided it was more important to massage his *&% ego than support her nurse. He claimed he never gave a verbal order at 2am and I was accused of practicing medicine without a license. I was furious when she suspended me without pay, went to a grievance who sided with the manager and the doctor because they were all in the same administrative pool. It hit me at a bad time during one of my mood downswings so I asked my doctor to put me on disability for a while to work some things out and cool off. Well as soon as they found out I was seeing a psychiatrist I was fired. I seriously considerd taking legal action against them but just didn't have the emotional strength to go through with it at that point.

So if anyone out there is under the impression that administration will be supportive and understanding you can just forget it! Mood disorders are something they do not want to have to deal with, and the legal fight to get your rights re-instated can take years and how do you pay the bills in the meantime? Not to mention that I would never want to work in that toxic of an environment again anyway.

So now I am even more careful about who knows and employers DO NOT need to know what meds I am on, It is none of their busines as long as I am able to perform my job responsibilities safely.

After surviving (barely) that incicdent I decided to try the travel nursing thing and so far I am loving it and loving life again more than I have in years, but I am not about to risk stopping my meds and I keep the phone numbers of my therapist and friends back home handy for emergencies, even though I haven't had any.

Thanking God I live in a time when these meds are available and not having to go through what my relatives in the 40s and 50s went through wth their psych problems, but also very aware of the stigma that still remains.

[Youda]

karenkidrn, welcome to this wierd group! :balloons:

just out of curiosity, would you say you had a long line of problems similar to the one you described at work? maybe not as serious, but that made you feel that way?

i'm convinced that when they get around to mapping out every little thing about the human dna, they're going to find exactly what makes us susceptible to depression. i have an old merck manual that i bought when i first started nursing some 28 years ago. back then, the two diagnoses for depressions were either "depressive neurosis" or "psychotic depression." of course if you were a women, you got "involutional melancholia" which and i quote "the patient will often have exhibited such traits as intolerance, stubbornness, oversensitivity, avoidance of pleasure, worrying, apprehension and insecurity." betcha a women didn't write that!

is it any wonder that depression still carries this stigma when a mere 30 years ago "melancholia" could stick you in the state psych house for some male interpreted "avoidance of pleasure?" what is so sad is that the medical profession, of all people, should get some continuing education! i can forgive anyone if they don't keep up on topics outside their area of practice. but, to be 30 years behind? and these stigmas still perpetuated in nursing schools?

yeah, i'm with you, karen. i'll keep my business, my business.

[sphinx, BSN, RN]

Karen,

I do understand......while it's become clear to my current boss that I have been depressed lately, she believes it is related to my recent hyst (she doesn't know I still have an ovary)......I have done everything in my power to keep my pysch history a secret! That is one reason it is hard getting a therapist, as I am unwilling to ask my boss "can I get off an hour, every 2 weeks" (or whatever) because that would likely require an explanation......a regular MD visit once in a while is one thing, but on going therapy visits are harder. I had a therapist and a group therapy for a while......as a CHN, supposedly you have flexibility to "work around" appointments and such, but as my work load grew and I became busier and busier, I could rarely get to group or appointments. As it was, I had problems relating to my therapist, so it turned out ok, but it remains difficult finding another, as I don't know what I can commit to! I'd hoped to be in a diffferent work situation by now, but it's not likely at this point....so!

Anyway, yes stigma is real. I always used to think "oh, this is nursing, a fellow nurse ie. nurse manager-should understand....well, somewhere in this post I probably recounted the story in more detail so I'll make it brief.....I was fired from one job, and I feel it was directly related to my depression, and I did not have the mental (or physical!) energy to fight it, and just gave up........and my next job, while my boss was understanding, stating she'd experienced too, I felt it negatively impacted me in that I was passed by to be cross trained....anyway, welcome........

Heather

[Sunnybrook]

When I said that giving unsolicited advice is a symptom of co-dependency, I was NOT referring to any one in particular. I'm sorry if that comment offended anyone. That was not my intention.

I mentioned that I suffer from this disease and I have given advice when I probably should not. Seems as if I've done it again. I am truly sorry if I offended you. I was just trying to share some insight as I have learned it.

[sphinx, BSN, RN]

Sunnybrook,

I don't see where you've given any advice (at least not here) that you shouldn't have. I don't know how long you've been on the internet, but it is quite common in all settings (b. boards, e-groups, e-mail) for someone's words to get misunderstood. After all, all we have is words on a screen......we can't hear the infelections in your voice or see the expression on your face or your body language....all things that we would normally use to clue us in to what you really mean. On the other head, I find the internet to be a medium that sets me free, to say things I never would in real life. I am very shy in real life, and would never have the guts to talk to anybody like I do here, or on other places I post to.

BTW.....I know all too well about codependency, unfortunatly........so, I do know where you are coming from. I do, I do.

[Sunnybrook]

Thanks for your comments, sphynx.

I think that one of the negative aspects of computerized communication is just exactly what you said; it is one sided and lacks the verbal and visual clues that we're used to in face to face conversations. The interpretation is left to the reader and is often misunderstood.

I also agree that it gives one a sense of freedom and allows the release of thoughts that otherwise would not be verbalized. I think it may take the place of writing in a diary or daily journal, which has been shown to offer a release to some people.

One thing that I enjoy about allnurses is being able to "talk" with other nurses since I work outside of the hospital and I don't have daily contact with my peers. It gives me a sense of belonging again.

Thanks for the feedback.

[Youda]

i was trying to smooth feelings, so i neglected to say:

welcome sunnybrook !!! :balloons:

[Sunnybrook]

Thank you Youda.

[sanakruz, ADN]

Dont let the bastards get you down!!!

[mamabear]

Amen to that!:) And welcome.:kiss

[Sunnybrook]

I appreciate the kind words.