Nursing & Depression

[carpe_de_em]

While visiting in the lounge one day, we discovered that every nurse there was on an anti-depressant.

I have had 'Treatment Resistant Depression' for about 20 years--as long as I've been a nurse. Now I am totally burned out, on major meds, and am seeking disability d/t depression/anxiety.

I beleive years of long hours, high stress, high expectations and little appreciation (from management, not patients) has contributed to this.

How many other jobs consider you a tratior b/c you call in sick? And trying to get off for a sick child is an unforgivable sin. How many other jobs want you to work overtime on the days you are scheduled, call you at all hours of the night or day when you are off, first pleading w/ you to come in, then laying a guilt trip on you if you say "NO!" And let's not forget the mandatory inservices and CEU's that take time away from your family.

If any profession should understand the importance of the individuals' physical, mental, social and spiritual self it should be nursing--after all we are taught in nursing school about treating the patient as a whole, not just a disease! Why don't we treat our staff the same way.

Anyone out there in the same boat?

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

Right on, micro!!

I'm glad that people are still on this thread.....The more we talk about this, the more we bring it out of the darkness, the brighter our lives can be...

carpe_de_em, PLEASE hold on and try to believe that things will get better!! Remember, death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem---don't surrender!!!!!

[micro, RN]

Originally posted by mjlrn97

I'm glad that people are still on this thread.....The more we talk about this, the more we bring it out of the darkness, the brighter our lives can be...

[/b]

ditto, back.......mjlrn97

don't think this is a dead horse thread......

think the stigma is still out there and felt all around.......

not just in this area

life is okay and cool

life can also be a _____ and a >>>>>

but that is okay also

micro

[SmilingBluEyes]

right now w/my personal situation, depression is a REAL threat. I hope to head it off w/exercise and if needed, medical treatment this time around. Hey I live in Seattle, and the rainy season is almost upon us. I have a real "feel" for this thread, right now. Micro, as usual, I feel like I LIVE your POSTS...are we in the same brain? lol....

[micro, RN]

oops, if you are in my brain, don't tell smiling eyes

it is good to laugh, also

inbetween the tears and the reality

it is okay to dream and to feel

what you feel, you must to heal

and above all be real to yourself.

to thine own self be true

smiling eyes, thx for the lol and the :-) you brought to my face

I wish for you much peace

and to all, the same

we are all connected

in ways we cannot always see

micro

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

SmilingBluEyes: You live in Seattle? I'm not too far from you, in the mid- Willamette Valley here in soupy western Oregon. I know what you mean about the rainy season---I've got that seasonal affective thing too. It's a lot better since I've been on antidepressants, but there always comes a time in mid-to-late winter when I just don't think I can take another day without seeing the sun. You might want to ask your doctor about getting a light box to help with this; either that, or try a tanning booth once or twice a week (not good for the skin, but GREAT for the mood!). And if you really don't want to be on meds, you could try St. Johns wort, which helps with mild depression (it doesn't do much for moderate to severe depression, though). Let us know if any of these works for you, and hang in there!!:)

[HazeK]

our OB/GYN docs donate all their Prozac and Wellbutrin and Effexor samples to our Labor & Delivery staff .... by putting them in our drinking water!

Haze

[sphinx, BSN, RN]

It is so refreshing to see this topic discussed here......I've struggled with recurrent severe treatment resistent depression for most of my life. I can't say that nursing has caused my depression, but it does contribute, the stress can make things so much harder to bear at times. I was depressed long before I was a nurse, and when I got my first nursing job, at first it was a refuge. It allowed me to stuff my own problems and feelings into a corner in the back of my head and give of myself to others. Of course, this eventually caught up with me, because I never did give back to myself. My depression also contributed to some bad choices I made in my life, ie with relationships, etc. I feel as if I spend more time in the pit than not. I have been on nearly every antidepressant there is, except for the MAOI's, as well as several other meds including some atypical antipsychotics, moodstablizers, lithium at one point, xanax at one point, buspar.......the list goes on and on. It's always a delicate cocktail mixture! The hard thing for me has been that I have never felt supported by my fellow nurses. My first job, I started to fall into a deep depression. I was in counselling,on meds......I confided in my boss, who allowed me one week off, and basically told me to snap out of it, or I'd be on my rear, since I'd had several call-ins. I tried, I really did.....I had support, therapy......but I missed one day too many. I was too sick to pursue the idea of disability, and my doc at the time was less than supportive as well. I was let go from my job. I was devastated, and within 3-4 months, my depression spiralled down further, and I ended up hospitalized not once, but twice. I finally got into partial hospitalization, then into and IPRT and DBT and individual therapy, and eventually was able to work again. Even though I only went part time, this too became too much, and I again spiralled down, and ended up hospitalized for yet another suicide attempt. This time besides med changes and increased therapy, I tried ECT, both inpatients and outpatient. This was only marginally successful, so again I went to partial hispitalization and to the IPRT until I was able to return to work. I finally was doing well, really well......until the hospital I worked for closed. I thought for sure then that I would "lose it", but was shored up enough to get myself out and get a new job. That is the job I am at now, have been for 2 years. I love it, it is in homecare, but the stress is incredible. So far I've managed, but the past few weeks have started to fall into another depression. I am desperately trying to head it off.......but I also do not want to inform my boss about my history. I mean, my first job I got fired. And my second, well, after I returned from disability, I was denied possibilities to crosstrain, even when I was recovering and doing well. Last week I broke down at work, and had to leave, so the cat is probably out of the bag........to me, this situation is difficult to say the least. How do others deal with this stuff? You talk about how so many nurses are on meds......is administration usually aware of the level of depression, or are they blissfully ignorant and unaware? Do people usually opt to be upfront with their employer, or be a fraidy-cat weeny like me and try to hide the "obvious"?

Well, thanks for listening anyway..........

[Youda]

Last week when I went in to my doctor (he keeps close tabs on me d/t the depression), he said that the days were already shorter by around an hour, and the SADs are starting to come into his office. He told me this to keep me aware that this could be another factor in my own depression. I went out to the health/herbal store near me and loaded up on full-spectrum light bulbs (about $8 each) and changed out all the bulbs where I usually sit or read. I couldn't say for certain that they're working, but I seem to be doing/feeling better. I actually felt like going outside and filling the hummingbird feeder. That may not sound like much, but a major deal to me, and some indication that I may still be holding my own.

As for administrations? Don't get me started on that or I'll have to start using words that aren't allowed here. I went on a FMLA medical leave to try and get my depression under control. My employer denied the medical leave because it wasn't a "serious health condition." And I am now, according to them, absent without leave and in "jeapordy" of losing my job. So, now when I am trying to keep myself up, I've also got to fight these ***holes with the Department of Labor.

So, I'll just sit here soaking up my "light therapy" and try to deal with it . . . later. :)

[SmilingBluEyes]

Mjlrn....yep the Willamette Valley...done that a few times ...beautiful. I will ask about the light box if need be. I think tho, mine will be situational as well as chemical...with the medical nightmare I endured last week and the loss of a much-wanted baby. Nursing has NOT contributed to bouts of depression in MY case...if anything it lifts me, reminding me how fortunate I am living with the wonderful man I do, and having my two healthy kids. But I DO get depressed frequently. I have to be careful.

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

SmilingBluEyes: I'm so sorry about your loss. There is nothing anyone can say that can erase one iota of the grief you're going through, but just know that there are many of us out here who share your pain and send you our prayers.

Also, just because a depressive episode is situational doesn't mean you can't, or shouldn't, get help for it. A short course (3-6 months) of an antidepressant, some counseling (which is definitely in order---I wish I'd gotten help when I lost my second child shortly after birth 18 1/2 yrs ago), or a combination of the two would almost certainly be of benefit. Please don't allow yourself to suffer any more than you are already!!

[carpe_de_em]

SmilingBlueEyes:

my heart goes out to you, I can't imagine the loss you must feel. I can understand depression. It is a serious illness and a real threat. Life threatening. Hope can be hard to find when you have a disease that's sole purpose is to rob you of hope.

Sphinx: Are you my double???

Been on every antidepressant known to man.

Been (and am) on anti-psychotics

Been on Lithium (tried to tell them I wasn't bi-polar but would take a manic day every now and then, just to get some things done.)

Been to a dozen or more therapists

Hospitalized for psych illness 5 times

Suicide attempts, too.

Add in a General Anxiety Disorder, Treatment Resistant Depression, PTSD, panic attacts

My previous doctor put me on Adderal for the depression, it saved my life and made me functional, now I've moved and my doc wont prescribe it. I can feel I am begining to sink into the deep.

[sphinx, BSN, RN]

hey, carpe_de_em....maybe we are doubles, sounds like similar stories, that's for sure. While it's comforting to know I'm "not alone", it is always distressing to hear of people who have been, or are going through similar (or worse) things. My psych doc recently increased my dose of Topamax (part of my current cocktail). I am waiting and seeing. I've maxed out he dose of my current antidepressant, which is the one that has worked best for the longest amount of time, so I hesitate to have him change it (not many options anyway, in that regard). It's about time to break out my light box too, I think.

Meanwhile, the job I've been at the past couple years is getting to be so very stressful, working a good 50-60 hours a week. I just can't handle that. I love so many aspects of it (I'm in homecare), but I've been thinking for a long time now that it is getting to be more than I can handle. So I am looking into other options. Chnaging jobs while falling into a depression is not easy, but in the long run it may be what "saves" me.

Take care, all!