Nursing Admission Letter ***I NEED HELP***

[MSstudent]

I am a freshman in college, and only a few weeks ago, I discovered that I am an entire semester a head of schedule. I have been kicking butt to complete my application before the end of summer 2016, so I can begin the nursing program spring 2017. I completed the rough draft of my letter about a day ago. I have never been a strong writer, and I would be beyond fortunate to have other nurses and nursing students to review my rough draft and give me pointers in regards to making my letter suitable to submit.

The mother's four year old son was on foot in a busy intersection with a drunken man during the latest hour of the night. Seemingly, the man was leading the boy to the liquor store across the street. The paramedics claimed both the child and man died on impact. I vividly remember the woman's scream. It made my heart sink deep, deep into my lungs until it vanished. I was useless. I craved the need to comfort the mother. It was then, at the age of fourteen, I was certain I had discovered my calling. For as long as I can remember, I have always felt strongly about protecting the innocence of infants and toddlers, not only to devote myself to the statuses of the children but to devote myself to prevent despair among those who unconditionally love the children. The desire is utterly unbearable. My passion is to satisfy my desire by specializing in labor and delivery or neonatal care.

I have seemingly lacked the opportunity to surround myself with infants in need. However, on a daily basis I have been challenged with the tasks of caring for my ill grandfather. I have lived long enough to experience his three strokes and episodes of memory loss. Even though I have accepted his fate will bring him to an early death, I will not sit back and watch him dwindle away. I will continue to provide him with unconditional affection to ensure his last years are hale and hearty.

Throughout high school, I quickly developed into an avid studier and made the A honor roll list annually. To challenge myself, I enrolled in various honors, advanced placement, and college courses during my high school career. At the age of fifteen, I pushed myself to obtain a part time job as a cashier to boost my familiarity with a diversity of people, and among the twelve years I played soccer, I was captain of the high school soccer team for three consecutive years and thoroughly took pleasure of gaining leadership skills.

My passion for science became unbearable during my high school career. I yearn to follow my passion for science by pursuing a nursing career. I have communicated with eight different nurses who obtained their nursing degrees through the nursing program of the University of Southern Mississippi. As I continue to acquire knowledge from these nurses, I realize I would be at an immense fault if I would apply to a nursing program elsewhere. After extensive research, I am well aware The University of Southern Mississippi Nursing Program is ranked number one in the state of Mississippi and has towering rates of the nursing licensure test.

[203bravo, MSN, APRN]

can't really comment on the essay since I'm not familiar with what they are looking for... but as a SouthernMiss alumni (though not in nursing) I wish you the best of luck.. my only advice is that the ending needs to wrap up a little better since there is no clear closure.

[JustBeachyNurse, LPN]

There is no closing and some of your chosen words "towering rates" science "unbearable" (intolerable--you don't want a passion intolerable If your passion was unbearable you would not to pursue further studies) appear to be misused. It's difficult to comment otherwise without knowing their requirements. However, read your essay aloud.