Nurses/Students: How often do you cry?

[ToxicShock]

I am not yet a nurse (just a lil ol' pre-nursing student), but I am well aware of the emotional strain that many nurses experience.

Despite everything that you may do to help prevent burn out and depression, there has got to be times when you just break down. But how often? When do you find yourself crying the most? Do you ever cry in front of patients? With patients? Do your co-workers look down on you if you do? Do you see a therapist to deal with some of the really upsetting things, or do you try and handle it on your own?

Use this thread to share your experiences, and give advice to those that may be struggling. You can never have enough support! :)

[vashtee, RN]

I cried twice during nursing school...

The first time was because the lovely woman I was doing a case study on cried because she was dying and was worried about who would take care of her husband when she was gone. That sweet old woman had a stroke right in front of me, and the terror in her eyes was awful, and there was nothing I could do to help her.

The second time I cried was for a little old man I took care of. He was in restraints to prevent him from pulling out all his lines and tubes. I think he wanted to die, but he had expressive aphasia, so who really knows? I had to put an NG tube in him (that was the first time I ever did that, and it's not a pleasant task). I shaved him because he needed it, and he looked so grateful and so very sad. He had no visitors during his hospitalization. When he died, I cried because he was alone.

[Rascal1]

I must admit I cried when I was a brand new nurse and have also cried over the death of a few pts. I had grown close to. Now,I'm near crying as I try to adjust to the new job I just started. Instead I just go home exausted...

[LaneyB]

I was a pediatric heme/onc/BMT nurse for awhile, and when the kids I knew died I would cry a little once I got home. I only cried once at work, and it was just a little bit. I was stuck working a 16 hour shift, and I think I was partly just tired.

[melz34]

I have cried lots of times I cried the other week when this boy I named liam died if you read my new thread any upsetting stories then you will find out what happend

[RN1982]

I also cringe when someone says, "The surgeon made me cry," or "The rude patient made me cry."

No one can make you cry. You simply chose an outwardly emotional response to someone's actions. In addition, it is pointless to cry when the people who "make us cry" aren't going to lose a minute of sleep over the tears you shed.

I agree. Now with that family member, I was upset because he did yell at me and so did my manager. I think I was more upset with the fact that the nurse before me failed to relay to the family that the PICC team left at 5pm and the patient would have to wait and now I have to deal with this sticky situation. This was two years ago. I haven't shed a tear over a patient in the last year or so. I do feel sad for the things that I see working in the SICU. I've hugged family members but I have not cried because I feel that I need to remain strong. Sometimes I feel that I am somewhat emotionless but I am that way for a reason and it's because I don't want to drag the stress of what I see at work around with me. Thats just how I feel about it.

[ToxicShock]

I cried twice during nursing school...

The first time was because the lovely woman I was doing a case study on cried because she was dying and was worried about who would take care of her husband when she was gone. That sweet old woman had a stroke right in front of me, and the terror in her eyes was awful, and there was nothing I could do to help her.

The second time I cried was for a little old man I took care of. He was in restraints to prevent him from pulling out all his lines and tubes. I think he wanted to die, but he had expressive aphasia, so who really knows? I had to put an NG tube in him (that was the first time I ever did that, and it's not a pleasant task). I shaved him because he needed it, and he looked so grateful and so very sad. He had no visitors during his hospitalization. When he died, I cried because he was alone.

That makes me cry just "hearing" about it. I'm glad you were there for him, I'm sure he appreciated it very much. Thank you for sharing your story :redbeathe

[Julie Reyes, DNP, RN]

In all my years of working in the health care field and in scraping young people off the road and off the walls from self inflicted gunshots, etc., and seeing the worst stuff ever - i have never cried.

I think the closest I have ever come to it was with a 9 year old with Downs & ALL relapse that was on the floor I had been assigned to - and his family never came once to visit him - and they live in town.

I think that when he held on to me and begged me to stay when my shift was over was the closest I have ever come to crying. Not so much cause he was sick...but the situation made my heart ache.

[TXstudentRN]

I think I've cried once thus far in nursing school, but never in front of people, and it was in the first few weeks of my first semester when everyone was still getting used to just how much nursing school takes out of you. It was more just a combination of complete utter exhaustion and stress, and then a little thing put me over the edge (in this case, it's so dumb looking back on it now, but it was having to put on sterile gloves for a lab checkoff, and I had a defective pair, therefore broke sterile technique, and didn't pass - and I had to do it all the time outside of nursing school so I knew I could do it, so it was just annoying as all get out, yet enough to put me over the edge). However, I must say the crying can sometimes be therapeutic - it's like I admitted to myself that I was overwhelmed, and after a good cry, I picked myself back up and developed a new perspective (that, and a thicker skin!)

I haven't cried with a patient, and don't know that I would - I'm pretty good at waiting until I'm alone or escaping for a few minutes to take some deep breaths and regroup. But I totally would if the situation called for it.

It doesn't bother me at all when other people cry when it's because of something truly sad and unfortunate, like some of the patients that have been mentioned here. What makes me mad is when someone else makes someone cry, usually one in an authority position. I don't care how much education you have and how high you are on the pecking order, no one has the right to bring someone else to tears.

I think sometimes you control whether you cry, but definitely not always. However, I firmly believe in Eleanor Roosevelt's quote that "no one can make you inferior without your consent." I guess it's hard to generalize whether or not you control crying, because crying is an expression of SO many different emotions. It just totally depends on the situation at hand.

[Julie Reyes, DNP, RN]

"However, I must say the crying can sometimes be therapeutic - it's like I admitted to myself that I was overwhelmed, and after a good cry, I picked myself back up and developed a new perspective (that, and a thicker skin!"

:yeah:I totally agree with you. Sometimes we get our feet knocked out from under us, but - we have to put "our big girl panties on" and pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. It is fine to cry but I just try to remember, there is a time and a place for everything....and sometimes we need to be strong for our patients families & hold it together- and sometimes we need to go off in a closet and let it all out....Elliot does it on scrubs!!! That makes it ok, right?! haha!

[blueheaven]

It depends. Sometimes I get close to a patient and his/her family and I will cry with them. More often than not, I don't as a rule cry.