Nurses struggling with mental illness

Nurses Disabilities

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I was just wondering if there are any other nurses who struggle with mental illness. It seems to be one disability that is met with little tolerance and support in the medical field. I do have major co-morbid mental illness, Major depression/PTSD/DID, and have had many problems in my career. I have been in therapy and on meds for a long time and have worked very hard to be functional, and I have suprised myself by what I have been able to achieve. Currently, I am a hospice nurse in a residential setting and it seems that I have found my niche. It doesn't aggravate my illness too much. I am very busy at times and most of my job revolves in much cognitive thinking and decision making about the best ways to respond to a patient's emerging or existing symptoms, and in assessing patients to see where they are in the dying process, plus lots of educating to patients and families. My extensive personal trauma background has made me able to have a different perspective on death and don't see it as the scary thing that is SO SAD, that a lot of people do. Plus, because of the things that I have been through, I am more able to be compassionate and understanding of patients and their fears. I especially do well with patients with existing mental illness or lots of anxiety. I notice that a lot of nurses have little tolerance for a patients anxiety and are not willing to take the extra time to walk them through things and provide the extra reassurance that they need.

Yes, there are some nursing jobs that I don't think I would be able to do because of the fast on the spot life and death action necessary. ER and Trauma/Burn are pretty much out for me. But thats OK. A lot of nurses couldn't handle doing what I do either for their own reasons. We are all suited to certain things.

Having mental illness doesn't automatically make you unsuited for the nursing profession. Even though I have heard many times, "what are you doing here?" "Shouldn't you be doing something else, less stressful?"

I am here and am doing the thing I am suited for. Yes sometimes I have to take time off due to my illness, but its no different than somone who has flare ups of a chronic physical illness like lupus, chronic fatigue, or fibromyalgia.

I would like to know how other nurses have coped with their own illness and their nursing careers.

Severina

I am not a nurse, but want to let you know that I have the same problem.

I'm always thinking, "I should have done this, I should have known that, God, I'm so stupid..." I really beat myself up, and I think I make more mistakes b/c of it.

Being seen as incompetant in any way in doing a job makes me feel horrible and also leaves me feeling humiliated. It's just a huge pit of dread for me. :uhoh3: :crying2:

My point is: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

Specializes in Medical, Paeds, Ob gyn, NICU.

Just a thought....have you seen the doctor about changing your meds? I am bipolar and some of the meds the docs have had me on, have made me see myself and my actions differently (as in from a skewed point of view). Hope this makes sense. I do not need any meds at the moment, but i am scared when i am finally a RN that the bipolar will once again rear its ugly head and sap my confidence.

Goodluck and believe in yourself :yeah:

Tina

Thank You so much. This has hit me hard, I have worked confidently, and enjoy the nursing processes. I have had a lot of stresses in my life for the last year. Illness and major surgery for my husband my last child has gotten married, a major move selling the hone we had raised our children in.But the place we move to is beautiful our dream come true that is why this is so frustrating

Hello catz, are you the catz I remember from the depression thread some time ago? There are a LOT OF CAT PEOPLE round here, did ya notice?

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{[[catz}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

yep im the one ya remember :) cat people are fun hehe thats y there are so many of us. (cept im really regretting getting a second cat now lol)

how ya doing?

Specializes in Transplant, homecare, hospice.

Hi Serena-

Awesome post. Gave me a lot of inspiration. I can totally relate. Altho, I haven't been diagnosed with a mental disorder, I found your post intriguing. I was diagnosed with a learning disorder about 5 years ago which has greatly impacted everything I do. Nursing school was hard and learning as a new nurse has been a challenge. I stopped taking the meds because I couldn't tolerate the SE's. The symptoms of my disorder include depression and anxiety, impulsiveness. I'm the one that tends to jump out and say something when I don't agree or feel impulsive at that moment...I used to do this at will. I find that nursing has trained me some to basically "chill out."

I feel the same way you do about Hospice. That's awesome that you're doing well.

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
yep im the one ya remember :) cat people are fun hehe thats y there are so many of us. (cept im really regretting getting a second cat now lol)

how ya doing?

I had to put one of my kitties to sleep :( so I still have one - she is still wondering where her "sister" is!

I'm doing so so, kinda dragging in the depression dept - have an appt with my doc Monday, I hope he can do something with my meds! I can hardly stand myself :(

You sound pretty good! Are ya?

i have struggled with depression i think since actually grade three but wasn't diagnosed with depression until age 12 and since then i have struggled with chronic and severe depression with some ups and some really really downs including hospitalizations. included in there is an eating disorder that started at age 11 of which i am still dealing with today and i'm now 26.

i just started nursing school in september and am struggling emotionally and eating disorder-wise. everything jsut feels so overwhelming and like so much and i'm not even in clinical yet, that's not til next semester so when i think of next semester i'm overcome by anxiety.

but i am on meds and see a therapist weekly and go into an ed unit on the weekends for help with that.

i'm just worried that even though nursing is what i always wanted to do, that maybe it or i'm not cut out for it because of my depression and how my mind tends to think. i've wondered too that maybe i've been reading the stories on here too much and it has just scared me?? it's just got me thinking that nursing maybe is too stressful for me and too hard.

but this thread has helped to reassure me a little bit. i would just have to find my nice. my interest areas are pediatric mental health or pediatric oncology and i think i could do those. i plan on staying far far away from the er, medical surg and those ones.

i just don't know what's going to get me through the rest of this year.

i'm also in a cbl program and i'm not liking it.

karine2

I had to put one of my kitties to sleep :( so I still have one - she is still wondering where her "sister" is!

I'm doing so so, kinda dragging in the depression dept - have an appt with my doc Monday, I hope he can do something with my meds! I can hardly stand myself :(

You sound pretty good! Are ya?

:( its so sad when we have to let them go isnt it. thats y i got the 2nd cat whitney is well getting on, i canot survive without a cat but once she goes ill not be able to get another one so got one now. plus they company for each other. im sorry u lost one of yours.

deression sucks.im sorry your dragging down there too, and i do hope they do manage to do sumat wiht your meds. it aint no fun when ya can hardly stand yourself i know.

as for me its an act, im trying to convinve myself im fine whenim so far form it well ya know the story lol. i had a very nice mega up 2mths over the summer and i want that back now lol. the docs still arent listening to me, or dont believe me or summat. apparently cos i used to be a nurse im spoosed to be able to identify exactly how i feel and why i feel like that. so im mega pissed off wiht them lol.

so i hvae nicely locked myself away in my own little place, avoiding all my usual hangouts online and avoiding everyone as much as i can irl too. but at the same time im not as depressed as i have been, and i havent completly given up yet.

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
:( its so sad when we have to let them go isnt it. thats y i got the 2nd cat whitney is well getting on, i canot survive without a cat but once she goes ill not be able to get another one so got one now. plus they company for each other. im sorry u lost one of yours.

deression sucks.im sorry your dragging down there too, and i do hope they do manage to do sumat wiht your meds. it aint no fun when ya can hardly stand yourself i know.

as for me its an act, im trying to convinve myself im fine whenim so far form it well ya know the story lol. i had a very nice mega up 2mths over the summer and i want that back now lol. the docs still arent listening to me, or dont believe me or summat. apparently cos i used to be a nurse im spoosed to be able to identify exactly how i feel and why i feel like that. so im mega pissed off wiht them lol.

so i hvae nicely locked myself away in my own little place, avoiding all my usual hangouts online and avoiding everyone as much as i can irl too. but at the same time im not as depressed as i have been, and i havent completly given up yet.

Gee and when you DO log all your symptoms and experiences, they think you (I) are faking - numbskulls! OOO that name just doesn't cut it LOL

Glad to hear from you hon, we used to have so much support going on that other thread - it was great. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Catz}}}}}}}}}}}

Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..

i have struggled with depression i think since actually grade three but wasn't diagnosed with depression until age 12 and since then i have struggled with chronic and severe depression with some ups and some really really downs including hospitalizations. included in there is an eating disorder that started at age 11 of which i am still dealing with today and i'm now 26.

i just started nursing school in september and am struggling emotionally and eating disorder-wise. everything jsut feels so overwhelming and like so much and i'm not even in clinical yet, that's not til next semester so when i think of next semester i'm overcome by anxiety.

but i am on meds and see a therapist weekly and go into an ed unit on the weekends for help with that.

i'm just worried that even though nursing is what i always wanted to do, that maybe it or i'm not cut out for it because of my depression and how my mind tends to think. i've wondered too that maybe i've been reading the stories on here too much and it has just scared me?? it's just got me thinking that nursing maybe is too stressful for me and too hard.

but this thread has helped to reassure me a little bit. i would just have to find my nice. my interest areas are pediatric mental health or pediatric oncology and i think i could do those. i plan on staying far far away from the er, medical surg and those ones.

i just don't know what's going to get me through the rest of this year.

i'm also in a cbl program and i'm not liking it.

karine2

karine - so nice to hear from you! you would be amazed how many nurses on this board have had depression or are on meds etc - if you do a search on "depression" you can find some of those old threads.

the point is, many of your fellow students know about your experience, it's good to have a close friend to confide in. and of course you can pm anyone on this board that you relate to.

don't feel you must make hard and fast rules about what you will do when you "grow up" lol - keep your mind and heart open and you will end up where you are supposed to be.

god bless you :)

i have struggled with depression i think since actually grade three but wasn't diagnosed with depression until age 12 and since then i have struggled with chronic and severe depression with some ups and some really really downs including hospitalizations. included in there is an eating disorder that started at age 11 of which i am still dealing with today and i'm now 26.

i just started nursing school in september and am struggling emotionally and eating disorder-wise. everything jsut feels so overwhelming and like so much and i'm not even in clinical yet, that's not til next semester so when i think of next semester i'm overcome by anxiety.

but i am on meds and see a therapist weekly and go into an ed unit on the weekends for help with that.

i'm just worried that even though nursing is what i always wanted to do, that maybe it or i'm not cut out for it because of my depression and how my mind tends to think. i've wondered too that maybe i've been reading the stories on here too much and it has just scared me?? it's just got me thinking that nursing maybe is too stressful for me and too hard.

but this thread has helped to reassure me a little bit. i would just have to find my nice. my interest areas are pediatric mental health or pediatric oncology and i think i could do those. i plan on staying far far away from the er, medical surg and those ones.

i just don't know what's going to get me through the rest of this year.

i'm also in a cbl program and i'm not liking it.

karine2

karine,

i just wanted to let you know... that alot of people have this and it is highly treatable... please don't put yourself down....

read the biography of marie curie and you will see how "depressed" people can be nobel prize winners.

thank god the dsm didn't exist then.... they would have probably said that she had mdd and ocd.

please don't limit your self. but know your limits.

yup zoe aint no pleaseing them, get accused of lieing either way and ggrrr. yeh that thread was real good for suppor wasne it. ((((((((((zoebobody))))))))

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