Types of Relatives We Nurses Love

Based from experience,this is a true-to-life article about the types of relatives we might encounter inside the hospital, with brief description about them. They are basically a pain in our gut, but we have to deal with them with a smile. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

The irony of the title describes something funny or annoying or whatever and true-to-life (not patient-centered though) encounters with relatives whom at their front we smile, but at their back we just want to put a label on their heads. In patients with such, we understand at our highest level of patience. But among the relatives, it just doesn't feel right. Though by being at their shoes, yes, it is very much reasonable to act with such. But hopefully, not beyond what we can't bear.

Toxic Relative

The first label is for the "Toxic Relative". There are these days when something isn't just right with our hospital duties wherein there are three NGT feedings, continuous blood transfusions, post-ICU trans-ins which we always dub as toxic. In line with this nerve-wracking duties are toxic relatives with endless requests wherein fact, they are already making us PDN's or private duty nurses. The other fact is that these relatives are just too lazy to perform their basic duties as a looker even by just feeding their loved ones. Some relatives would even question your capability of helping their relatives by judging your body frame since they are looking for bulkier personnel who are also busy.

Paranoid Relative

Next,the "Paranoid Relative" is someone who is overly reacting on their loved one's condition therefore us nurses requiring explaining this and that nuggets of facts routinely. Another example is that some relatives would also insist on such measures such as blood transfusions in their dengue-infested loved ones and we would always tell them that interventions are individualized. No two people with the same condition are alike. Physicians also experience the same upon their clinical rounds and the thing is, physicians are also annoyed by such.

OFW or Imported Relative

Another one is the "OFW or Imported Relative". He or she is someone who boasts of healthcare facilities and interventions abroad and compares it here in the Philippines. These are also relatives who do not believe in the capabilities of nurses and doctors here. We often hear them saying, "In the (insert first world country here), patients aren't intervened by such". And at the back of our minds, "Then let your relatives stay at St. Lukes or Asian Hospital if you want the vibes of international facilities."

Frustrated Nurse / Doctor Relative

Lastly,the "Frustrated Nurse/Doctor Relative" is someone who provides healthcare duties and responsibilities ahead without the consent of the nurse and the doctor. An example of this are parents with a child with soaring fever in which they are overdosing their child with antipyretics despite explaining to them the round-the-clock antipyretics given by the pediatricians. We can't just argue with them but just give them the best advice by not doing it again.

For the peace and harmony of hospital duties, we nurses still do our best and wear our smile amid these situations. Though we don't let ourselves drift emotionally into such circumstances, we just welcome every relative with their questions, misconceptions and demands with the fullest of our capabilities. Besides, we are very much immune to them ten-fold.

Have you encountered such? And so, which type?

Sure...

It'll go away...

After their foot falls off.

:sarcastic:

haha. I laughed hard at this!

I find the "annoyance" of families is directly proportional to how far away they live from the sick relative. The farther away they live, the more guilty they feel, the more they have to make up to the relative, the more annoying they are to me.

True. For me it's alright to make up for one's absence. But the part that I hate is too much of everything they demand from the nurse or the resident doctor. Things would work if with balance.

I get the family members in the medical field MD/CRNA/RN/ etc, who just wont let you do your job. The CRNA who after multiple requests would not stop suctioning her mom constantly on the vent every single time she let out the slightest cough, constantly was suctioning her mouth at the tiniest bit of drool. The MD who is pushing buttons on the vent trying to read the vent settings.

Relatives who are nurses on our sister unit going through her uncle's chart. I had to call her NM at that point.

Why did I always get cursed with the MD/RN/CRNA relatives who didn't know how to be visitors?

Patience is the key! We get to encounter such once in a while. We just have to explain infinitely.

MIA relatives haha missing in action. noted!

The ones that work with us in gaining co operation from a patient

Specializes in ICU.

You mean there are other types of relatives besides obnoxious ones? ;) I had a family today who met every category except for the healthcare field relatives...

I am working on getting this poor old lady on the bedside commode when family comes in. I say "Just a moment," and go back in and close the door. They try to come in THREE MORE TIMES while the patient is having a bowel movement. Then, the patient wanted to be changed into her pajamas and put back in the bed. I couldn't even finish buttoning the poor lady's top before the barge in the door. Oh, and the patient kept saying, "Hang on a second." She quite clearly did NOT want her family in the room while she was pooping and getting naked. They didn't seem to care. When they were finally coming in they gave me an exasperated look and said, "We just want to see you, Momma!"

Yeah. You want to see all your mom's private parts and watch her poop when she quite clearly doesn't want you to see any of that? Weird.

Oh, and not five minutes after I leave the room they call me back in because she's "having trouble breathing." I go in there and whip the pulse oximeter on her just to check and her saturation is 95%. She doesn't look to be in distress to me, but she does look like a little old deconditioned lady with a stroke that I hauled on and off the bedside commode whose legs nearly gave out while I was doing it. Maybe they should have a little compassion and let her rest instead of talking her to death immediately after she's done something fairly strenuous (for her).

Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.
Patience is the key! We get to encounter such once in a while. We just have to explain infinitely.

I tried the patience route. They didn't get it. I got frustrated.

As irritating as family members can be, nothing is more heart breaking to me than a patient with no visitors, ever. I just graduated and am about to start my first job, so I don't have all that much experience dealing with a patient's family. Up to now though, people have been pretty okay. The only "bad" one was an RN whose daddy I was taking care of. She was very irritated that a student had been assigned to help take care of him, and had no problems letting me know every time I walked in the room. I had asked him the day before and he said it was fine by him!