Nurses eat anybody young old and indifferent

Nurses General Nursing

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I often read on allnurses about Nurses eating their young but the older I get, the more experienced I get, the more I know Nurses do not eat their young they eat anybody and anything that gets in their way.

They have no time or consideration for whether they are morally right or wrong, they do not care who gets hurt in the consequences they are on a mission.

These "nurses" are not just male or female they are the ultimate perfect product they make no mistake themselves they have no sex, no race, no color, no religion, no morals they are not doing it most of the time because they care about their patients they are doing it simply because in they are attempting to make themselves look Good, and everybody else look bad.

God help you if you have a bad day, your feeling unwell, your workload is so intense that you have difficulty priortising. This is when they feed on you almost like a vulture waiting and hovering to attack it;s prey, almost lulling you into a false sense of security.

We worry about the ones who are nasty to us, who we know are watching everystep making our fingers shake in case we do something wrong with a procedure we can do with our eyes closed.

In reality we shoudl be worrying about the ones who smile in our face, who understand our problems but are waiting in the background to stab us hard in the back to make the vultures job so much easier.

Bitter I hear you all thinking as you read this, no not bitter just somebody who has had her eyes opened, somebody who considered herself to be a a good nurse, somebody who has never been written up, somebody who has never written up another nurse yet somebody who is working in a hostile environment watching it happen to others around her on a daily bases and somebody who knows it is only a matter of time before it happens to her

(-`v´-)

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(¸.♥´ (¸.♥´ .♥´ ¸¸.♥¨-`♥ ♥♥ ~~~ ♥ ♥

The problem with all this back-stabbing in nursing is because this is a female-dominated profession. I truly believe if there were more men in this profession, we probably wouldn't be having these problems. Sometimes I think, we as women, are constantly in competition with each other even if we think that we are not. I cannot count the number of times I have been put down by my female co-workers and never by my male coworkers. I really think that says something. I feel that some women are so nitpicky and anal about everything, that it really gets in the way of what is really important. I don't expect my co-workers to finish everything before they leave and I hope my co-workers wouldn't expect that of me. Nursing is a 24 hour a day job. Some things do not get finished in my 12 hour shift. People need to deal with it.

Here are my rules when dealing with co-workers:

1. Think before I speak

2. Treat people how I want to be treated

3. Never expect too much

The people that create these toxic environments are the ones that need to leave the nursing profession...And that includes the nurse standing in the hallway charting at the drop-down that I politely asked to step aside while I take my critically-ill and intubated patient back to ICU last week and all I got was a nasty look.

Hold it. Hold it right there. While, I find the second half of your post helpful, the first part--i.e., the "woman as the problem" bit is out of line. I used to believe that same statement, but honey,--PEOPLE can be backstabbing, and PEOPLE can be TOXIC. It isn't a woman thing, it's a PEOPLE thing. I'm a middle-aged "pre-nursing" student, and I'm coming from a Construction and Design Engineering background. I've been the only woman in an office more times than I care to think about, and the one thing I'm sure of is that some PEOPLE cannot be trusted. Those same men that I thought "oh, they'd never put me down" etc., were usually the same men that I found out later were the ones tearing me apart behind my back. Please don't hang this at a woman only door.

but as for your rules on how to deal with co-workers--right on! World just might be a better place if we all hung those rules on our mirrors and read 'em each morning before we went out into the world.

Specializes in RN, BSN, CHDN.

My co-workers are not the problem where I work we are very supportive of each other and have had to be. Recently we lost our manager who was encouraged to leave-our manager was a large of life person who drove us crazy at times, but supported us the nurses100 %. since she has gone it has turned our lives into hell. Every department in the hospital has us under the microscope and is complaining about every little thing.

For example a psyhc pt was smoking in her room so her RN of the day had to inform pt about the non smoking policy-the pt complained to an RN transporter that she had been unfairly accused and the RN told her to contact the Director and report the nurse-then she went and got the charge nurse to inform her.

Second example an RN in EGD found a written error from the day before on a mar phoned for an explination when informed that the mar was from a previous day explained the error. It did not satisfy this RN so he faxed the Mar to our director, my question why was he looking through the chart in the first place it had no bearing on the days proceedings. I could go on and on with examples.

Now when these happen on a daily basis to different members of staff, who are becoming more and more distressed it cannot but damper morale.

There is no toxic gossip about each other, it is all occuring outside our dept.

Specializes in RN, BSN, CHDN.
I do my work and go home. I stay out of the politics and people don't bother me. I help when needed but I don't engage in gossip.

This is not about gossip within our working environment, I have tried this but to be truthful I cannot look away anymore my collegues need supporting and anybody could be next because unfortunatly we are human and yep shock horror we make mistakes.

I have worked with gossip mongers and actualy believe they are better that what is occurring

Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.
Hold it. Hold it right there. While, I find the second half of your post helpful, the first part--i.e., the "woman as the problem" bit is out of line. I used to believe that same statement, but honey,--PEOPLE can be backstabbing, and PEOPLE can be TOXIC. It isn't a woman thing, it's a PEOPLE thing. I'm a middle-aged "pre-nursing" student, and I'm coming from a Construction and Design Engineering background. I've been the only woman in an office more times than I care to think about, and the one thing I'm sure of is that some PEOPLE cannot be trusted. Those same men that I thought "oh, they'd never put me down" etc., were usually the same men that I found out later were the ones tearing me apart behind my back. Please don't hang this at a woman only door.

but as for your rules on how to deal with co-workers--right on! World just might be a better place if we all hung those rules on our mirrors and read 'em each morning before we went out into the world.

You're half right. But I'm entitled to my opinion also. At my last job, where I worked with probably one or two male nurses, they never belittled me like the female nurses did. It was ridiculous and I was so fed up that I resigned after about 5 years on that unit. It may not be a woman thing but I'm sorry from my experience it's always been the women that I worked with who were the ones that were backstabbing. But yea, people in general can be toxic, the women at my last job were, I called most of them petty little drama queens and I got some stories for you regarding the drama queens. Anyhow, my point is, maybe if we respected each other more as professionals we would get the respect from society that we deserve, we can't do it by constantly nitpicking at each other..

Madwife:

Thanks for adding some new insights into this "thread that refuses to die" - nursing can involve life or death situations, and, let's face it, normal pleasantries can go out the window in dire situations. Still, the "toxic" situations that many have to endure are caused by management being either indifferent or, in some cases, actually promoting it. What's it going to take to change this? Present company is one person who refuses to poison my life with this nonsense. The corporate mentality contributes mightily to the situation, as there is no way to reconcile happiness with the bottom line. Your staff is miserable - who cares? Is it losing money? In fact, it does, if you want to consider the health effects of misery.

Diahni

P.S. Nurse J22 - I sure wish there were more people willing to stand up to bullies. They're out there, and withdraw only when they feel outnumbered by people willing to stand up them.

A reminder to all to VOTE!!! Yes, we need more Dr. Spocks, and fewer cowboys running our country.

Specializes in RN, BSN, CHDN.
Madwife:

"thread that refuses to die" -

I am presuming u mean 'subject' because I only started this thread last night and I dont think it has run it's course yet.

Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).

Uh, people, Mr Spock was the logical Vulcan from Star Trek. Dr. Spock was the child care expert. Let's try to be accurate, please.

But, seriously, it isn't hard to feel the way Madwife describes. It does seem, at times, like the crap always lands on nursing. If I'm late with a med because Pharmacy sent the wrong one, the computer shows I was late with a med. If my patient is in pain and the doctor refuses to give anything but Tylenol, I'm not an effective advocate. If a patient has a well-approximated incision with no redness or drainage and I can't remember at 0730 whether it has sutures or staples, I deserve to have eyes rolled at me because now the nurse who follows me will have to look for herself when she does her assessment.

Yes, there are plenty of things that suck, but the trouble with these "Nurses eat _________." rants is I am a nurse, and I eat cheeseburgers. Or sometimes a salad. Very rarely, I might chew on an aide, a little bit, if they deserve it. But, usually, I try just to make it a teaching moment and not get harsh. And most nurses I know are the same way.

After ten years in healthcare, I can list dozens of examples of nurses behaving badly, but I can't begin to list all of the times they have caught my pt climbing over the bedrails while I was tied up in another room, or helped me figure out a situation I didn't understand, or been there when I needed three hands, or...well, it goes on and on, including offering to cover my pts so I could go smoke when the stress was getting to me.

So, yeah, it can get toxic, but before we start debating whether nursing is so horrible because so many nurses are women, or old, or young, I humbly suggest that we try really hard not to let a handful of Negative Nellies (or Neds) poison our perception of a whole field of people, many of whom I'm just damned proud to know and work with.

But, yeah, there are always a few who'll just suck the life right out of you...if you let them.

Specializes in ER/EHR Trainer.

Perhaps mob mentality exists due to fear of being individuals. I see this in my environment and can't stand it! I too came from a career that was male dominated and believe me men are just as bad, just sneakier and not as blatant with facial gestures.

The only way it will stop is with strong managers and coworkers who put an end to it. There is nothing like seeing a coworker's face when you confront them in the middle of a tirade with an audience. It's priceless!

I am too old to be playing high school and will not allow it around me, perhaps we should all stand up for the wounded and abused, then the abusers will be the lonely one.

As for the animal analogy, many don't give up their fellows; but surround and protect it. The glass is half full. : ) You have to be at work so many hours, why should it be any harder than it has to be?

Maisy

Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

I agree Mike, there always a few co-workers who will suck the life out of you. Here's some random pettiness I dealt with at my last job...

1. Day shift was short, management ordered pizza for them. A night nurse suggested that management do the same since night shift was short also and it had been busy during day shift and most like will be during night shift. Well, one particular day shift nurse had a problem with the night shift nurse's request and went crying to management, tears and all...

2. Same day shift nurse from above, I gave her report on an elderly patient that came to us from a med/surg unit with low urine out put. That patient had been there for 3 months with various infections. Moving on, gave that nurse report and told her that I didn't know much of why the man has been in the hospital and her response was in a rather rude tone of "why didn't you look it up". Gee didn't think of that myself but you know, have another patient get intubated kind of sucked up my time for about an hour or two.

3. I've been yelled at for not changing the labels on the MARs/flowsheets because the room number was wrong. I moved the patient from bed 11 to bed 1 and the day shift nurse flipped out because there "could be a medication error". She had been a nurse for 20 years, shouldn't she know you don't look at the room number to pass meds..

4. My favorite one was after a particularly long and busy 12 hour shift when I finished giving report to one nurse and she had the nerve to hand me the filled EKG strip sheet and said that she needed a new one. I ended up telling her off because I was visibly tired and could hardly keep it together while giving her report.

I could go on and on, being short RNs and NAs and management not backing you up. I finally had the nerve to leave. It was constant nitpick this and nitpick that. And its not even stuff that is important. Like being asked which nare the NGT is in...FIGURE THAT OUT FOR YOURSELF I AM NOT DOING YOUR ASSESSMENT FOR YOU....It never ends and it needs to.

Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).
I agree Mike, there always a few co-workers who will suck the life out of you. Here's some random pettiness I dealt with at my last job...

...It never ends and it needs to.

No argument, here. And there have been days I've felt just like Madwife. I'm not sure whether I think it helps to vent, or just reinforces the negativity.

I do think one of the best solutions for a toxic workplace is voting with your feet. Which is arguably not a solution, but running away, but as I see it, if things are mostly good, you can work on making them better, but if they are mostly bad, it's time to save your own booty.

A case can be made (and a couple of times has been) that I should see how positive I am about nursing when I've been doing it x years. I can see that, but while I've only been a nurse for a bit over 3 years, I've been in healthcare for ten, so I'm not entirely naive, and mainly, I'm looking for ways to still love my job when I have been doing it x years. My strategy, so far, has been to try not to let the occassional bad day or bad week spoil a whole career for me. So a big part of my objection to broad generalizations like "nurses eat their young," or "male nurses are lazy," has less to do with the unfairness of them, and more with tarring a whole bunch of really great people with the same brush as a handful who might actually deserve it, thereby losing sight of what a joy the good ones are.

I was looking at another thread by someone who feels she has no choice but to go into nursing, even though she doesn't think she'll like it much. I guess I've decided I have nothing else to add to those who've already replied, but I can't help thinking what a miserable existence that portends, because I love my stupid job, and it still drives me a little nuts, sometimes.

So, it does need to change, but one thing we can readily change is not proclaiming __________ are __________ when the truth is that a rather small minority can be, at times.

Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).
Perhaps mob mentality exists due to fear of being individuals. I see this in my environment and can't stand it! I too came from a career that was male dominated and believe me men are just as bad, just sneakier and not as blatant with facial gestures.

The only way it will stop is with strong managers and coworkers who put an end to it. There is nothing like seeing a coworker's face when you confront them in the middle of a tirade with an audience. It's priceless!

I am too old to be playing high school and will not allow it around me, perhaps we should all stand up for the wounded and abused, then the abusers will be the lonely one.

As for the animal analogy, many don't give up their fellows; but surround and protect it. The glass is half full. : ) You have to be at work so many hours, why should it be any harder than it has to be?

Maisy

I spent a small portion of a long career as a carpenter working for someone else whose business was a good deal bigger than mine ever was. I was shocked at some of the politicians and back-biters on that crew, so yeah, men can be just as bad. But a lot of guys in that business would much rather punch you in the face than stab you in the back.

But I do agree with your general point. In fact, I once wrote a little piece for an in-house newsletter advocating catty behavior, in the sense that when one of my cats is annoyed with another, they don't let it fester or talk behind one another's back. They pounce on you, throw you to the floor, bite your neck, and then lick your ears to show they're still friends.

I have not yet actually employed this strategy in the literal sense.

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