Nurse tells summer volunteer to not refer to the unit as "We"!!

DeeAngel · Dec 12, 2016

Speak up and call her on it, tell her in front of everyone what you think of her words. If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. Silence implies agreement and it's wrong in this case. Being "disgusted" counts for nothing at all, it's worthless and useless. Words are what is needed here and you didn't come up with any.

JadedCPN, BSN, RN · Dec 12, 2016

Speak up and call her on it, tell her in front of everyone what you think of her words. If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. Silence implies agreement and it's wrong in this case. Being "disgusted" counts for nothing at all, it's worthless and useless. Words are what is needed here and you didn't come up with any.

I agree with everything about this except I don't think it necessarily needs to be in front of everyone.

lemonstolemonade · Dec 12, 2016

I would say something to her, but in private. I work at a large hospital and we value our volunteers because they walk with visitors to help show them around when they are trying to get somewhere (which we certainly don't have time for).

emmy27 · Dec 12, 2016

In general I agree that praise should be in public and criticism in private but in the case of standing up for someone who is being mistreated, it's so vital that it be done immediately in front of the person being mistreated, and others if possible. Part of how bullies and abusers get away with it is by creating either the impression or the reality that the victim is alone, and that others agree with them. If someone said something like this to me in front of other employees and no one say anything, I would assume that they agreed with the statement.

If the moment has passed, individually telling the volunteer that you DO consider them part of "we" and the nurse who was so ugly that it was unacceptable is the next best thing (as well as reporting this incident to management- if she's this rude to a volunteer being helpful to a coworker, imagine what she's like in private with a difficult patient or visitor!), but speaking up in the moment in defense of people who are being insulted- especially insulted in what could easily be interpreted as in the name of the unit or the organization you're a part of- is so much better and more likely to ameliorate the problem and stop it from happening again.

It's a galling anecdote- volunteers are a huge help to staff and patients, and youth volunteers are often people interested in working in healthcare. One vicious comment like that could be enough to drive a bright student away from that hospital or even healthcare altogether.

BadwomanM · Dec 12, 2016

I agree with everything about this except I don't think it necessarily needs to be in front of everyone.

I don't know that I agree... she said it publicly and in what sounds like a humiliating way, it might not hurt to at least make sure she knows how ugly that was in a similar fashion. Might open her eyes to how it feels to be treated in such a manner. At the very least, it should be with the volunteer present.

JadedCPN, BSN, RN · Dec 12, 2016

I don't know that I agree... she said it publicly and in what sounds like a humiliating way, it might not hurt to at least make sure she knows how ugly that was in a similar fashion. Might open her eyes to how it feels to be treated in such a manner. At the very least, it should be with the volunteer present.

I don't/didn't disagree with it, I just don't know if I would go out of my way to purposefully say it in front of everyone like I feel like the poster was implying. I'm not a quiet person who holds her tongue so I would have likely said something right then and there, but my point is that I wouldn't have made it a point to do it in front of everyone on purpose (although that is likely exactly what would have happen).

macawake, MSN · Dec 12, 2016

I agree with everything about this except I don't think it necessarily needs to be in front of everyone.

I would say something to her, but in private.

I have a problem with this approach. First of all I think that silence in this case looks very much like tacit approval, so unless a person approves of the displayed behavior I think that they need to make it clear that they don't.

This was a situation where a young person was treated very poorly. They need to receive support from the other adults present. Getting slammed like that when you're only trying to be helpful isn't okay. I would expect that others speak up even if the target of the snide comment had been an adult but in my opinion it's especially important when the venom is directed at a high school kid. Heck of a first impression of how adults behave in the "professional" arena :blackeye:

If the nurse had made a mistake or an error of judgment I'd be much more inclined to speak to her privately, but not even the most generous interpretation of her comment can be construed as a mistake or a slip of the tongue. That was deliberate meanness and I don't think that a person who does that deserves protection, loyalty or discretion. It might be the ex-LEO in me, (always telling people how to behave :rolleyes: ) but I couldn't remain passive when witnessing such behavior.

lemonstolemonade · Dec 12, 2016

I have a problem with this approach. First of all I think that silence in this case looks very much like tacit approval, so unless a person approves of the displayed behavior I think that they need to make it clear that they don't.
This was a situation where a young person was treated very poorly. They need to receive support from the other adults present. Getting slammed like that when you're only trying to be helpful isn't okay. I would expect that others speak up even if the target of the snide comment had been an adult but in my opinion it's especially important when the venom is directed at a high school kid. Heck of a first impression of how adults behave in the "professional" arena
If the nurse had made a mistake or an error of judgment I'd be much more inclined to speak to her privately, but not even the most generous interpretation of her comment can be construed as a mistake or a slip of the tongue. That was deliberate meanness and I don't think that a person who does that deserves protection, loyalty or discretion. It might be the ex-LEO in me, (always telling people how to behave ) but I couldn't remain passive when witnessing such behavior.

Good point!

VegGal, BSN, RN · Dec 12, 2016

I was truly disgusted when a new hire asked a summer volunteer "Where do we keep such and such an item"? And the volunteer responded "We keep it in such and such place. Then another nurse turned to her and said "Do not use the word WE your not part of us"!!! Truly a nasty way to treat a high school kid volunteering his time!!

We need volunteers! I hope the high school kid is resilient and continues to volunteer. Could this incident be taken to management? Does the nurse realize that volunteers actually contribute to the smooth running of the unit / hospital? I can't imagine us not having volunteers where I work.

Irish_Mist, BSN, RN · Dec 13, 2016

I have a problem with this approach. First of all I think that silence in this case looks very much like tacit approval, so unless a person approves of the displayed behavior I think that they need to make it clear that they don't.
This was a situation where a young person was treated very poorly. They need to receive support from the other adults present. Getting slammed like that when you're only trying to be helpful isn't okay. I would expect that others speak up even if the target of the snide comment had been an adult but in my opinion it's especially important when the venom is directed at a high school kid. Heck of a first impression of how adults behave in the "professional" arena
If the nurse had made a mistake or an error of judgment I'd be much more inclined to speak to her privately, but not even the most generous interpretation of her comment can be construed as a mistake or a slip of the tongue. That was deliberate meanness and I don't think that a person who does that deserves protection, loyalty or discretion. It might be the ex-LEO in me, (always telling people how to behave ) but I couldn't remain passive when witnessing such behavior.

Couldn't agree more! I'm usually an advocate of praise in public, criticize in private but this situation deserves a special approach.

SHGR, MSN, RN, CNS · Dec 13, 2016

One of the things I loved about the unit I was a clinical instructor on, was that I was part of "we" from day one. All of my student groups were we. That meant answering call lights and such too- it was we in every way. Great unit to be a part of. I hope my next unit is the same way!

ilovnursing · Dec 13, 2016

I hope that kid will not be the one wipe her/his ass.