Nurse to Nurse Abuse (how do I fix this)

[PACURN27]

I have been a nurse for the past six years, currently in ( a small) PACU for a year. The nurses that I work with still pick on me. Granted, it has become better than when I first started there. Here are some examples of what I mean: 1.) Information is withheld from me 2.) When asking questions, I am made to feel like I asked a stupid question 3.) Gossip (i.e. I'm sitting down all the time when I am not, I take too long with patients etc) 4.) Not talking to me.

I realize that these are not specific examples but I just wanted to give a general show of "reoccuring" themes. I have done a lot of soul-searching trying to figure out if it is me. Am I difficult to work with? Am I not seeing the bigger picture? etc. All of this to no avail. I truly am trying my hardest and want to be supportive to everyone on the unit. I want to get along with these women.

After speaking to a senior nurse on the unit she confided in me that she believes these struggles are unique to this unit. She came from a much busier PACU and said everyone was much too busy to pick on others the way these nurses do. She has told me to hold me head up high and just continue working. I am doing my best with this but I would be lying if I didn't say that these nurses really upset me. They make me question if I am a good nurse or not. I have gotten better at dealing with this (letting it roll off of my shoulder). I can't help but wonder if I should just grow a thicker hide or if I am asking too much by wanting to be treated well.

With the economy, being the way it is, nursing jobs where I live are hard to come by. This job is close and the hours work well for my family. I really enjoy the work I am doing, except, of course the way the nurses treat me. My nurse manager (team leader) is part of the problem. I do not know the women above her well enough (nor do I have the guts) to speak about these issues for fear of retaliation.

My question (and thank you for so patiently reading this)....Is this something I can fix? How do I better cope with this? Has anyone experienced this and was able to work through the problem?

Sincerely,

A nurse with a hope for a better future

[Jules A, MSN]

I have not been a target of a bully and have no intention of making light of these situations but I always wonder why not move on and find a team that will respect and work with you? I get that it isn't fair, legal and shouldn't be your responsibility to leave a position but it is what it is and if after 6 years things have not changed so I wouldn't hold my breath. Its like driving down the road and an aggressive driver who has been on your bumper for miles and attempts to pass you. They cut it too short with oncoming traffic and your options are to 1. slow down, 2. make room in your lane by pulling over or 3. have a 3 car accident. Is it really worth it to be right when you are hurt in the end anyway?

[cecilsgirl]

I can say this about a person we had come to our floor once to work, she- from the get-go was not a team palyer and made it very clear she wouldn't be. She wanted off the floor with-in a week. She felt "picked on ", but let me tell you, she caused it by having blinders on to the whole team thing. She would get on" her" job for the day, and not lend a hand to no one else, unless asked or told to do so. She had run-ins all the time with staff, but she would tell others on different shifts "How bad she was being treated". I'm not saying this is how you are in anyway, I'm just saying that sometimes no matter what, some people just don't get it, they won't bend to be a part of the team, and then they want to blame everyone else for not "fitting in".

[SlightlyMental_RN]

As for withholding information: Plant yourself in front of them, look them in the eye, drill them for the info., and for goodness sakes, don't freakin' apologize. I would say something along the line of, "Hey! Jane! What where the labs for Patient X? You didn't tell me them during report." DO NOT look apologetic or timid. Rinse and repeat. Never, ever look weak, or they will smell blood.

[TickyRN]

You have gotten good advice from previous post. All I'll like to add is that you should try to make it a habit to befriend new nurses on your unit. Get to them while they are still young and fresh, before they get poisoned (LOL) against you. That way you kinda have you own crew/friends .

[dazyRN]

There are about 5-6 bullies on the unit I work on. This group thought they ruled the nest and could tell everyone on the unit what to do, how, and when. To make matters worse the manager backed them up.

The next thing I knew almost everyone quit. I looked at the schedule when it came out the following month and there were 18 days out of 30 that had noone scheduled to work. The supervisor and manager were having to take patients because they ran everyone off.

[Leelee2]

This environment you describe sounds very toxic. I wouldn't doubt if your co-workers are jealous of you and your nursing abilities!! As a nurse, and as a Patient, there is no such thing as "taking too much time" with a patient. Anyone, any age, can suffer complications...or be extremely anxious, etc and Need someone there with them!

I would really hate to see these other nurses in this setting, because from what you describe, HIPPA violations are surely taking place between them as well. (gossips)

You will need to decide for yourself, if this toxic type of work environment is worth your stress, and possibly your own health. In the meantime, stand up for yourself, and call them out when gossip and other things are taking place, that is all you can do. Good luck in dealing with a very difficult issue, keep your head up high!!