Nurse Manager Is A Bully

Fiona59 · Feb 28, 2014

Who don't you trust? HR or the coworkers?

Have you documented events to show a pattern?

Is the workplace violence aimed at you or the unit in general?

Are your coworkers wanting you to act as their rep?

I take it you don't have a union or shop steward.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Feb 28, 2014

I wouldn't trust HR...how is she bullying?

Cardiolyte · Feb 28, 2014

I've worked in this unit 7 years, 5 on nights. She also worked nights. When I was able to transfer to days it was such a relief then she came to days and with her so did the problems. 8 RN's on nights left at one time.

She micromanages the staff, she yells, she decides vacation time, schedules, et. She encourages staff to "tattle" on each other. I went with other RNs to HR concerning a VERY unsafe RN that she had hired that she ignored. That RN was sexually harassing ALL of the young nurses and techs. That is the only way to remove him from the unit. She even ignored a female MD's complaints stating the doctor was just a drama queen. Then I reported issues on our MERS site, was brought into the office and given 30 days to improve my attitude. After those 30 days went by she now tells me that no techs want to work with me nor do the RN's because of my tone. Not what I say, it's my tone that is the issue. There are only 4 and I am one of them, older nurses left... She will not tell me when, who, where, et. My co-workers tell me that is not true, that she does not speak for them.

jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B · Mar 1, 2014

If there is an ethics hotline for your parent company, use it. If there is a incident reporting system, that you don't have to sign your name to, use it each and every time you are yelled at, etc.

Speak to your union rep. If you don't have a union rep, is there an employee relations department of your parent company?

I would stop speaking to your co-workers and putting them on the spot. If your manager encourages "tattling" then they could have been just stating just about anything, and have it twisted into whatever. IF (and this is a big IF) they are complaining about your "tone" (

Speak to your union rep. Speak to employee relations. Speak to your malpractice insurance for guidance. This is not meant to be legal advice per AN TOS.

Selfie · Mar 1, 2014

She is not going to change, and depending on how long she's been there- she may not be leaving soon.

I would document everything. HR is not your friend, and she will probably find more reasons to get rid of you if you go there.

I would do what she says, lay low, and if she isn't leaving anytime soon, and I didn't think I could get along with her, I would look for work elsewhere. She is supposed to make your schedule. I would put in my own vacation time and give it to her for approval, and if she wants to arrange vacation for me, i would not agree to it.

I wouldn't talk to my co workers about any of it.

mindlor · Mar 1, 2014

My boss does not like me. I am not sure why. What I have been doing is to keep smiling, pickup shifts when she needs me, and whenever I catch a coworker doing good make a beeline to her office to report my coworkers excellent deed. I will slowly wear her down. She never used to smile but now she smiles maybe once per week....hey, its progress.

Selfie · Mar 1, 2014

My boss does not like me. I am not sure why. What I have been doing is to keep smiling, pickup shifts when she needs me, and whenever I catch a coworker doing good make a beeline to her office to report my coworkers excellent deed. I will slowly wear her down. She never used to smile but now she smiles maybe once per week....hey, its progress.

LOL. Years ago, one of my best friends did this with people/coworkers that didn't like her. She would go out of her way to say hi to them and talk to them, and didn't care what they thought. At first i thought she was crazy to do this, but once i observed first hand how well it worked for her, and the positive responses she got, I soon changed my opinion.

MatrixRn · Mar 2, 2014

She is not going to change, and depending on how long she's been there- she may not be leaving soon.
I would document everything. HR is not your friend, and she will probably find more reasons to get rid of you if you go there.
I would do what she says, lay low, and if she isn't leaving anytime soon, and I didn't think I could get along with her, I would look for work elsewhere. She is supposed to make your schedule. I would put in my own vacation time and give it to her for approval, and if she wants to arrange vacation for me, i would not agree to it.
I wouldn't talk to my co workers about any of it.

^^ All of that, especially the part about HR NOT being your friend. This is not negative it is just real. HR works to protect the hospital...that is there job. So unless you have a long juicy tale that is well documented and you have the NM on your side, do not even bother.

If she is in for the long haul, a floor favorite, then either lie low and do what she asks, or look for an exit. If you do what she asks while looking for the exit, you may even net a good recommendation from her.

allnurses Guide · Mar 2, 2014

I just want to highlight the advice to immediately stop talking to your co-workers about this issue even if they seem supportive. The atmosphere sounds very much like the only job I ever had that I would describe as toxic. The poison rubs off on otherwise normal people whose first priority is to make sure they aren't next on the chopping block. This can lead to some nasty betrayals. I do hope you can get this worked out. I know what a frustrating, confusing and painful time it can be.