Why so closed minded? WHY?

LasVegasRN · Jul 26, 2002

Originally posted by canoehead
LasVegas- his loss IMHO.

Aww, thanks, canoe :kiss

RNConnieF - great post, I agree 100%!

mark_LD_RN · Jul 26, 2002

I always let the patient decide if i can be their nurse, if they want an escourt with me etc. never had a problem never had one request an escourt. but i have been requested by many of my patients and their friends when they return to hospital after i care for them one time. i have even had patients ask everyone leave the room except me. i have no problem with any of this.

as far as the homosexual thing, i have had 2 patients refuse my care for that reason, on one occassion i got to talk to the person more and explained i am not gay and am actually married with 3 children he was shocked he thought all male nurses were gay. i was his nurse the next day and we got a long fine. sometimes it just requires education.

on the abuse issue sometimes it can be a problem, but i have experienced just the opposite. i had a patient once that was yelling screaming and hitting her nurses while see was in labor. her nurses became frustrated so i took over her care no one knew her past abuse history. well we got along great after she delivered they request i be her post partum nurse. when the were discharged the family told me that she got pregnant as a result of rape . and that since then i was the only male she allowed near her besides her father. this is one statement from them i will always remember" you are one great nurse and a wonderful man, she saw you as her angel from the moment you entered the room and talked to her, for this we will forever be gratful to you" needless to say it made me cry especially when she came up to me and huggged me. she had come back to the hospital on several occassionstoshaow me the baby, she also told me that if it were not for me she would not be here today. so you see the abuse thing is not neccessarily an issue but i let them choose.

i totally agree with smiling blue eyes that this gender issue is riduculous and should not even be a point of contention or misconception by other nurses and medical professionals they should realize we are professionals also and gender does not matter. the general public you can kind of explain a lot of them do not know exactly what nurses do or go through, bur again education is the key!

mark_LD_RN · Jul 27, 2002

RNConnie that is a great way to handle it, I must say i really never experienced the problem with patients, but mostly from nurses especially when the nurse was the patient. to me any kind of discrimination is wrong, racial,gender,sexual orientation etc. should not matter. i think one day we will all realize we are professionals and this topic will stop coming up. I have traveled all over the country as a travel nurse and found the problem to be worst mostly in the south, and with the older nurses. Once they get to know me they usually come around. just like where i work now when i started the nurse manager was against me working their but the ADON went to school with me insisted they give it a try, first couple months were kinda rough. but just the other day my nurse manager came to me and told me i am all right, that i have been a godsend to her and the unit because of my knowledge ability and work ethic. she also told me that all i been getting was great reviews from all the patients,midwives,doctors and coworkers. she said she hopes i stay for ever. this made me feel very good. i wish we could all be treated as equals, i love my job and would like to pick up some work at other hospitals, but it is always a challenge to get my foot in the door.

thisnurse · Jul 27, 2002

las vegas...i agree...his loss

if i were a male nurse i dont think id be comfortable doing an assessment on a female pt without another female in the room.

too many whackos out there.

jurbyjunk · Jul 27, 2002

I've told this story in another thread, but I'm going to tell it again. One of my PACU cohorts is John, a Brit from the Midlands. John had a female patient "come to", look at him and say "oh, Doctor". Now, John gets a tad bit irritable when he's mistaken for a doc. He drew himself up to his probable 5ft 10 inches, and said, in a very posh Brit accent, "Madam, if you want nothing done for you, I'll get you a doctor. If you want to be taken care of, I'm your man". Although I work with some great nurses, if I need a "peer consult", I ask John.

I've always had a "sister/brother/friend" relationship with John, able to talk about whatever turmoil was going on in my life. We've talked about our kids, the pains of our divorces, our thoughts about retirement, etc. I've always felt that I could confide in him and he would keep that confidence. And I was right. Recently, I spent 5 weeks in Zimbabwe, at the only first aide station in a 150 km radius, and I found that I was thinking about all of the things I was doing that I could hardly wait to tell him about. I wanted to tell him what it was like to watch 2 kids die of AIDS and what it was like to finish amputating a man's arm (result of a run in with a machete), etc. Yup, I've realized that I care a great deal about him. Sigh. Life's just gotten more difficult.

LasVegas RN, you're right, there are other prejudices other than gender. I'm from Arkansas, and I drawl. As I've been known to say "I may talk slow, but that doesn't mean that I am slow". The bias that I get is that, because I'm from "down South", I am therefor racially biased, etc. I used to work with a "colored" (SA term which means mixed race) surgeon from South Africa who made this assumption the first moment I opened my mouth in his presence, not because of anything that I said but because of the accent.

Over a period of 4 years, when we were alone, he would make sexual innuendoes to me, even ripping a uniform belt several times. When I complained to my unit manager, I was told to "just ignore him. He's just turned 50". At that time, my hospital had no sexual abuse protocol in place.

One day he said "you don't like me, do you. You're prejudiced against me". Now, my parents were from Scotland, and believe me, I grew up not thinking too highly of "Sussenachs". So I looked at this man and said "Gee. I didn't realize that you were English". I left him sputtering.

mark_LD_RN · Jul 27, 2002

thisnurse: that is something one gets used to, do you have an escourt to do exam on male patients? i a very comfortable with it as are my patients. i always give them the option i treat them in a very friendly manner not the typical sterile approach of old days. i always allow them the choice. but so far i have had no takers.

tigger2sassy · Jul 27, 2002

i have worked with both males and females in nursing over the years-- have great respect for both--as we all have something to contribute-- i appreciate a good team member and will have no regrets-- by the way guys some of my best partners were male-- hang in there

Rustyhammer · Jul 27, 2002

I havent' run into many problems taking care of female pts.

I don't need an escort most times.

I HAVE requested someone in the room with me on an occasion or two when I've been grabbed or propositioned by the pt.

And it's not always the female pt. either.

-Russell

Fgr8Out · Jul 27, 2002

I've found that ALL nurses feel more comfortable when they are assigned patients who are comfortable with THEM barring those patients who NO ONE wants and there are a few of those out there, to be certain. We get all sorts of complaints/requests... patients who don't want "male" nurses, or the "ugly" nurse... there are patients who would prefer they not have the "too cute to really be a nurse" nurse or the "old hag." Do you get the picture?

But, in general, we very rarely have patient's refuse the care of any of our nurses... and on those occasions, I have no difficulty in rearranging the assignment. I mean, if the patient is more comfortable... and if the patient feels they have been given a say in their care.... Think about it, patient's are told what to do, when to do it, how it's going to be done... they are stuck with needles, x-ray'd, CT scanned, given bowel preps... all manner of unpleasant tests and treatments... why shouldn't they have a say in who they entrust themselves to if they have a choice?

I really don't ever take it personally, nor do my co-workers, if this or that patient refuses us on occasion. Believe me, I'd prefer NOT to care for someone who isn't comfortable with me... and put myself in the unpleasant position of later having to defend myself against charges brought about by someone who asked not to have me as their Nurse.

Now, should a patient become verbally abusive with a Nurse, or make comments such as the ones LasVegas has had directed towards her... or if someone wrongly criticized a Nurse because he happens to be male, or a different ethnicity, or old, or overweight, or WHATEVER... I would certainly find a way to correct that misinformation and let the patient know how extremely qualified that nurse is....

Great comments and insight from everyone on this Post!! :)

Peace:)

christinemj · Jul 27, 2002

>>>>>The abuse issue is the sole reason I can understand for a patient being picky about the gender of the nurse... AS LONG AS the patient is EQUALLY as picky about the gender of the PHYSICIAN!

Otherwise, it just doesn't make sense. I don't understand why some women don't want to have a female OB/GYN (or any other kind of specialist) but are perfectly content to have female nurses providing the hands-on care. I've heard the homosexuality issue bantered about with female patients not wanting female doctors as well...go figure. I understand that there are some generational attitudes out there, but the inconsistencies in the thought processes drive me mad.

Perhaps the female patient has a long-standing relationship with the male physicain, has known him for years and trusts him completely. Perhaps HE was the one who helped her after her rape, abuse, etc. Perhaps she does not want to encounter NEW male caregivers.

I think this.. "male DR equals male nurse is Okay" mentality is very short-sighted. Without knowing ALL the details of a person's history it is wrong to think that we know best about who should and shouldn't be able to care for a particular patient.

Aren't we supposed to be patient advocates???

Kayzee · Jul 27, 2002

In LTC position I have found that a few of our elderly females request not to have a male nurse or cna. We usually would accomadate these requests if able. Now on the other hand, we have a male nurse who many of the residents just love, " is ---- on tonight? He is attractive and one of our pts. actually proposed to him. I guess everyone has different feelings on this subject. I feel that the pts. peace of mind is important, and I would want them to be comfortable with there caregivers, so I would do my best to assist them with their request. In the future when more male nurses and cna's enter this field, pts. will most likely accept this as the norm.

Burn NA · Jul 27, 2002

I think male nurses ROCK! The ones I've worked with are very compassionate & capable. Additionally, it's great to have both genders in a work setting, for an environment dominated by either gender can have its problems.