Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 144

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   HisTreasure
    Your surgery isn't until 3PM, it's only 8:30. Please stop coming up to the window asking if we've had a cancellation and can we take you early. We probably can't. We've told you that 12 times. The receptionist is getting angry and is now coming to the back asking us to come and repeat what we've already told you 12 times. You're irking my nerves, and yes, I am tempted to tell you this to your face. And I probably will.
  2. by   BabyNurse1969
    "Can you please just tell me what you want me to bring you over the intercom when I ask is there anything I can bring you, instead of saying I need to ask you something, only to be asked for a blanket/pain med/juice/water when I get to your room? It would make both our lives run alot smoother, and you would get what you want a lot quicker. Thanks ever so much."

    Love and rockets.

  3. by   RNforLongTime
    I'm sorry that you don't like to be poked for lab work(says the pt with 10 tattoos and numerous piercings) but we need to see what the values are so that we can treat them appropriately since your heart likes to have runs of SVT!!! If you don't want to allow the phleb to draw labs that the doctor ordered for you, then you might as well go home NOW!!!

    And I'm the mean nurse who isn't allowed to take care of this patient anymore!! GRR!!
  4. by   Quark09
    To the 50-year old flasher who is always trying to get the nurses to take a peek at his nether regions: "I've seen bigger."
  5. by   shoegalRN
    This is what I ACTUALLY said to a pt in the ER:

    Pt: Don't think y'all are plan on keeping me and you are not gonna be poking on me either.

    Me: Then why did you come to the hospital?

    Pt: WOW! You are a mean one!

    Me: If you are sick and gonna come to the hospital, you have to allow us to do our jobs to help you get better. If that means we have to poke on you to get blood drawn or admit you to the hospital, it's all in order to help you get well.

    Pt: I don't care you are still mean.

    Me: (Smiles) Now, I need you to get in a gown and I'll be right back with the stuff to draw your blood.
  6. by   talaxandra
    "Sit down and shut up or go home."
  7. by   tencat
    NO you can't call at 2 AM and request an emergency nursing visit because grandpa's foley catheter came out (not pulled out) and he needs a new one NOW because he's peeing in his depends and getting the bed wet. Well, you can call and request it, but it won't happen until tomorrow morning at about 0900....

    I don't care HOW much money you have or how prominent you are in the community, I'm NOT your personal maid and I'm not moving furniture for you or running errands. And grandpa is NOT going to get a shower because he weighs 300lbs and I'm NOT letting my aide get hurt, nor am I hurting myself.
  8. by   annister
    I'd love to be able to say "sure, let me get your nurse". I'm the only one who can't get away with it.
  9. by   MomBabyUnitRN
    I guess I've never had any problem telling a couple (more so the dad) that I am not a maid. If he'd like the bedside table cleaned off, there's the garbage can and "go for it".

    Since I work night shifts on a busy postpartum unit with no well baby nursery, I have no trouble telling you that watching your baby is not MY responsibility. I don't mind watching your baby and letting you sleep, but it's YOUR baby. When we have two c-sections and three more postpartums coming up adding that to our already nine patients and one of them is hemorrhaging, and nobody is around to watch your infant, please don't expect us to. We are a team of three nurses who are trying our best to make everyone happy. You are responsible for her/him for the next 18 years.

    No, babies don't sleep at night. They wake up quite often and are hungry. Since they are now your child, you should wake up and feed them. Who do you think is going to do this when you go home?

    Home deliveries are meant for pizza. Please don't think you're safe delivering your infant at home because you're trying to save a buck. Also, please don't try to let your midwife tell you you're not pre-eclamptic with a blood pressure of 196/110 and it's safe to deliver on your own mattress.
  10. by   sevensonnets
    I could care less about your bowels.
  11. by   sevensonnets
    Ah, so you're the niece who's in the Medical Field. RN or LPN? Well, you work in a nursing home? What kind of unit? Oh, housekeeping.
  12. by   sevensonnets
    No maam I don't know how your mother slept last night. I wasn't here because I was asleep myself. Since it is now 2 pm you might try asking her yourself. No maam I don't think anyone else is around who might be able to tell you how your mother slept last night.
  13. by   sevensonnets
    No, maam, I don't have any control over the color of the jello and by the way I didn't cook your eggs. No thank you I don't want your cake. It's okay to leave it on the tray if you don't want to eat it. Thank you, I'm glad to hear that I'm the best one that's wiped your behind since you've been here but I still won't go home with you.