Sexual harrassment?

Nurses Relations

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I had a male nurse co-worker who was actively engaging in "sexting" during the shift and showed me a very provocative partially nude female on his cell phone. As the charge nurse on duty I was required to right him up causing him to be placed on 2 week suspension. Fellow collegues, do you think this employee should be able to keep his job?

That is not the EEOC's definition of sexual harassment. The harassing party does not have to be a superior to the party being harassed.

Sexual Harassment

"It is unlawful to harass a person (an applicant or employee) because of that person’s sex. Harassment can include “sexual harassment” or unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.

Harassment does not have to be of a sexual nature, however, and can include offensive remarks about a person’s sex. For example, it is illegal to harass a woman by making offensive comments about women in general.

Both victim and the harasser can be either a woman or a man, and the victim and harasser can be the same sex.

Although the law doesn’t prohibit simple teasing, offhand comments, or isolated incidents that are not very serious, harassment is illegal when it is so frequent or severe that it creates a hostile or offensive work environment or when it results in an adverse employment decision (such as the victim being fired or demoted).

The harasser can be the victim's supervisor, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or someone who is not an employee of the employer, such as a client or customer."

Hmmm, I'm going to have to do some more checking! If this is the most recent and correct information, well....I stand corrected, and I thank you. However, I remember this being in the news not long ago, and the reason why it WASN'T considered "sexual harrassment" was because of the very nature of the situation the OP described: the "harasser" was actually subservient to the "target". Thought I had remembered it pretty well, but maybe not.

Beyond that, even if the employer/employee situation is exactly as you describe, what is painfully evident is that this WAS a single incident. It was not severe, it was not prolonged. It wasn't illegal for him to make a single comment, joke, or show her the photo.

Her consideration, therefore, of this being "sexual harassment" is unfounded.

It may very well not be my place to chime in here, but I'm going to anyway.

Until very recently, I was the only male on my shift (I'm a CNA). It amazes me how people can miscontrue things like this. Is what he did wrong? Yeah, he shouldn't have shown you that picture and you shouldn't have known he was "sexting" rather than just texting. But, seriously, a write-up? It would have been so much easier for you to tell him these things were inappropriate, for everyone involved. Now he gets to lose two weeks of pay and quite possibly start looking for another job IF he gets to keep his license.

Every night I go to work, I get to listen to one particular coworker tell everyone at work the things her new boyfriend did to her the night before. Seriously, who cares? But the other girls eat this up. There's a lot of "Oh, I wish my husband would..." and "If my boyfriend would do [this] I'd do [that] more often." Seriously? When did this society become so sexually engaged that we feel the need to tell every person we know about our sexual exploits? I don't go around bragging about how many girls I've been with, what I'm going to do with whoever next time we go out, or talking about the experiences I had with so-and-so or what's-her-name. If I did, those girls would have me fired in a heartbeat. Yet when they make ME uncomfortable by talking about this and that, there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

Somehow we have gotten to the point that if a guy brags about or shows off the things his partner/friend/whatever does for him, he's a stud, in general society, but in a society of primarily women (such as the nursing field) he's a dog. Okay, so men are dogs, but women are what? Apparently goddesses. The girls I work with are taking turns reading the 50 Shades of Grey books, mostly while at work. From what I've heard, some of that stuff is probably a lot raunchier than "sexting." Yet this is acceptable. "Oh, it's just fantasy." Yeah, but it's SEXUAL fantasy.

Do I partake in "sexting"? Not really. Do I partake in my coworkers' sexual conversations? Not at all, even when asked. I've been having problems with the girls I work with, anyway. I don't want to do anything that can be miscontrued as harrassment. I have ONE girl I talk to at work. We're about the same age, have been in similar situations, and get along very well. We don't talk about who's doing who. For the past couple of days we have worked directly together, we have talked primarily about my ex and how I feel about her.

My point here? Dude, you overreacted. BIG TIME. I can almost promise you that guy meant nothing more than "Hey, I trust you, what do you think of this chick?" when he showed you that picture. He didn't ask you for similar pictures, did he? Or is there the possibility that he just needed a friend to say "She seems kinda skanky..."? Seriously glad I don't work for you. I'd smile and you'd swear I was making lude comments. How do I know this? Guess what I got reported for Wednesday night?

The harasser can be the victim's supervisor, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or someone who is not an employee of the employer, such as a client or customer."

Just considering something....technically the guy in the scenario (Joe Nurse) might be a co-worker, since the OP as charge nurse cannot fire, hire, or promote him. But an interesting twist is that he IS 'under' her supervision because she IS the charge nurse and because she has the ability to "write him up" and request disciplinary action. And nowhere in that quoted definition does it cover someone who claims harassment from a subservient employee.

Which, I guess, goes to my original comments: it cannot be legal sexual harassment if Joe Nurse is not her co-worker, but a staff member she supervises.

Chances are, though, he'd be considered a co-worker in this situation, and all bets are off!

Specializes in Pulmonary, Transplant, Travel RN.

I agree with the double assertion that there is a double standard. I've had females sit right next to me and talk about the very explicit details of their love life. Too much detail and imagery. I'm not made "uncomfortable" easily and I was...........

Now, take the same situation, but make it two men sitting next to a female nurse discussing things. Even if they don't care to admit it, many people see this as a completely different thing. Not saying I believe you to be this way, but believe it or not, a lot of the write ups concerning lewd jokes/harrassment come from.........guess who? The biggest culprits of the exact same behavior. Why? Because people see how they act, assume they are OK with that sort of joke/conversation and proceed accordingly.

I would have told the nurse to stop showing me pictures, then go from there depending on his response. I've had nurses tell me my humor makes them uncomfortable.........and I appreciate it and respond by curbing the jokes. On the other hand, if I were one of these people who responded by ignoring your warnings or calling you a prude........then there is a problem that requires mediation from management.

Specializes in LTC, Medical, Telemetry.

Lose his job? No. This isn't male comradery speaking, just an honest opinion.

As others have said, there is a huge double standard in nursing. As a male myself, I am very reserved and cautious in discussion. Even if I feel I know the person well enough and the boundaries, I know the implications of sexual harrassment accusations and the weight that follows. I have not personally been accused, but I know some that have (some with and others without merit).

Here is my impression: you should have addressed it with him immediately on the spot if it makes you uncomfortable. You don't have to come off as disciplinarian, just a simple "sorry, that really isn't appropriate" will suffice. Sexual harrassment is just that - harrassment. As in repeating the act with full knowledge that it makes you uncomfortable. He certainly overstepped his boundaries, but you need to declare those boundaries clearly. Unprofessional? Yeah, as are most non-work conversations at the nurses station. You are justified in writing him up, although it would have been more effective to have just spoken directly to him.

Wow. Someone is really power hungry.

When the person decided to tell his charge he was sexting, and then showing her a picture of same, is where the line was crossed. As charge, responsibility lies in the good of the patients and floor. The correct thing was done, as what the OP describes is, in fact, sexual harrassment. If she spoke to him, then he chose to share with a couple more co-workers, who then said "I was sexually harrassed and my charge nurse saw what he was doing and did nothing but speak to him" it could have left the charge nurse holding the bag.

A policy should be put into place to have all cell phones turned off until one's breaks. With a disciplinary process in place for those who do not abide by those rules. ie: verbal, written, suspension, etc. And this should perhaps be put into place prior to the return of the employee. Sexting or not, it is irritating to have people texting in report, in rooms, in the hall, at the nurses station when you are trying to speak to them--enough is enough. So, he should perhaps be given a chance to redeem himself, and keep his job, lesson learned, but he needs to abide by the policy like everyone else.

Sexual harrassment it seems is one of the most under-reported situations ever--due to "awwww, I was just JOKING" or whatever comments. And in this instance, the charge nurse is held a a higher standard of conduct. It amazes me the excuses that we will make for someone who participates in this type of behavior. Guess what, he did MEAN it, he was grossly inappropriate, and his actions have consequences--real world stuff here.....

Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature that tends to create a hostile or offensive work environment.

This is the legal dictionary's term of sexual harrassment. It is for most part of their "mandatory day" or orientation training. It is highly subjective in nature, and bottom line is that until we stop making people feel badly for reporting sexual behaviors at work that they find offensive, sexual harrassment protection is not worth the piece of paper it is written on.

Would anyone feel differently if the person had shown another co-worker who then brought it to the charge nurses attention? Then what was she to do with that information? She had the information, she is required to report it, and it was adminstration who chose the discipline, not her.

Specializes in Med Surg, PCU, Travel.
I had a male nurse co-worker who was actively engaging in "sexting" during the shift and showed me a very provocative partially nude female on his cell phone. As the charge nurse on duty I was required to right him up causing him to be placed on 2 week suspension. Fellow collegues, do you think this employee should be able to keep his job?

This sounds like a simple male bashing post. As a man I can tell that lots of information has been omitted from this post. First of all, no man in his right mind with just walk up to his charge nurse aka boss and start showing nude photos to a female of his sexual exploits, men usually keep it amoungst themselves or if its to a girl, its a girl who is "one of the guys". So until you give the whole story noone here can give you any input that is of value.

You and this male must of had some sort of history or some sort of close relationship for him to think of you are "one of the guys" because that is what he is doing, unless he needs psychiatric treatment. Did you also engaged in some sort of unethical or sexually related conversation prior to this for that topic of sexting to even come up??? or u just accidentally caught him in the act?, unless he needs psychiatric treatment. So I'll say it again, give us the whole story.

If it's as simple as the 3 sentences you gave us to read, then yes he should be suspended, provided that you let him know upfront about your opinion and were not an active participant and or at least given an initial verbal warning. As far as harrassment policies goes, no employee is fired unless the person continues his unwanted behavior after initial suspension, but its would all depend on you works harrassment policies.So I'll say it again, give us the whole story.

If I were stupid, I would say that before you were charge nurse, this was the usual way this person normally acts, you had objection but the other nurses did not but you never voiced your objections,because you were friends or maybe just did not want too and now that you are charge nurse you are in a position to "fix it". Does this person have prior incidents like this on his file? Normally a suspension only takes place after the person has broken an initaial written up warning. Once again too many gaps in this post and too little information. I'm not defending this guy...some men are total a***holes but given the information posted its just weird, I mean actively engaging? does that mean you accidentally caught him in the act?

Edit:

I work with a bunch of guys and there was always one guy who had vulgar stuff to say after meetings, being Christian I normally would just leave the room, they all know perverted talk offends me and I let them talk their nonsense. But one day the guy walks up directly to me and said something totally vulgar that had Obama, in it. I got upset, he thought I was thinking he was a racist, but that was not it, it was just a totally perverted joke, worse than anything he said before. Instead of pulling him aside I just lost it and told the guy, hey dont come around me telling me your crazy perverted jokes that I got no interest in and to show some respect for his coworkers. Everyone was shocked I was yelling becuase I'm normally quiet. From that day, he never spoke like that again. Yes I was wrong to embarrass him in front of the whole crew, but my point is if someone offends you,even if they think its funny, say something about it, be firm, be clear and make it end...dont even let it get to a point where they need to be suspended, unless they refuse to change.

The guy is a dork.

Sexting is dumb.

Sexting at work is dumber.

Sexting at work and showing somebody is dumbest.

OP- please elaborate. How is this is harassment?

And- honest answer: If you saw female rn #1 showing female rn #2 a picture on her phone from last nights batchelorette party, what would you do?

If you work in an environment in which the above would be severely punished, then by all means hold this dork to that standard.

Alernately, you could tell him: That's inapropriate. Don't do it again.

Specializes in Med Surg, PCU, Travel.
It may very well not be my place to chime in here, but I'm going to anyway.

If I did, those girls would have me fired in a heartbeat. Yet when they make ME uncomfortable by talking about this and that, there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

Do I partake in "sexting"? Not really. Do I partake in my coworkers' sexual conversations? Not at all, even when asked. I've been having problems with the girls I work with, anyway. I don't want to do anything that can be miscontrued as harrassment.?

I agree with most of your post rivershark2005 and the day you partake in any sexual conversations with your coworkers, even if they ALL say it is ok, even if your charge nurse invites you too, trust me, it would be the end of your career in nursing or any career for that matter...possibly even criminal action and in addition to being donned a sexual predator.

Fifty shades of grey is totally inappropriate for the workplace, its like a male bringing a playboy magazine to work. But who are male nurses going to report this too? The female charge nurse or female DON? They will not take a complaint about fifty shades of grey seriously...men always get the harsher treatment in harrassment cases. I think all of this is less about harrassment and more about power.

it isn't harrassment because it lacks repition.

When the person decided to tell his charge he was sexting, and then showing her a picture of same, is where the line was crossed. As charge, responsibility lies in the good of the patients and floor. The correct thing was done, as what the OP describes is, in fact, sexual harrassment. If she spoke to him, then he chose to share with a couple more co-workers, who then said "I was sexually harrassed and my charge nurse saw what he was doing and did nothing but speak to him" it could have left the charge nurse holding the bag.

A policy should be put into place to have all cell phones turned off until one's breaks. With a disciplinary process in place for those who do not abide by those rules. ie: verbal, written, suspension, etc. And this should perhaps be put into place prior to the return of the employee. Sexting or not, it is irritating to have people texting in report, in rooms, in the hall, at the nurses station when you are trying to speak to them--enough is enough. So, he should perhaps be given a chance to redeem himself, and keep his job, lesson learned, but he needs to abide by the policy like everyone else.

Sexual harrassment it seems is one of the most under-reported situations ever--due to "awwww, I was just JOKING" or whatever comments. And in this instance, the charge nurse is held a a higher standard of conduct. It amazes me the excuses that we will make for someone who participates in this type of behavior. Guess what, he did MEAN it, he was grossly inappropriate, and his actions have consequences--real world stuff here.....

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