Dating Patients

mhull · Jul 21, 2006

Who has time to date patients? I'm too busy trying to marry a Dr! :chuckle

LOL....I hope Dr Phil or a nursing magazine editor don't read that.......LOL

mhull · Jul 21, 2006

So this is an old thread, but I thought I'd go to allnurses.com for some insight and opinions on this topic. I've been caring for a guy who is 6 months older than I am who came into my unit with a broken jaw a couple of days ago. I had him on my shifts his entire stay. Anyways, he's mentally competent and is quite a good looking young fella despite his puffy, wired jaw. We had a good, therapeautic, professional relationship during my shifts with some witty banter thrown in for good measure. On my last shift (which ended this morning), he said he wanted to cook me dinner when he's able to open his mouth and that he wanted to give me his number. I said I couldn't accept either because it'd be unprofessional. He said he was going to make me take his number, which I did wind up with at the end of my shift. He has been discharged from my unit now. So this all got me thinking, am I cruel, unethical nurse if I did wind up taking this guy up on the offer or by calling him? Who is it hurting? What is unprofessional about it? If I did either, I don't really see me taking advantage of someone who is vulnerable physically or emotionally. He's not mentally ill or addicted to anything and the only thing remotely physically awkward I saw was his right butt cheek when I gave him an IM for pain control. I never really thought I'd be entertaining going on a date with an ex-patient. Never really thought it'd come up...

Does he have a way to contact you? If so, maybe he will. What does your policy at work and the BON state. Make sure you look at both of these. Also, you could accept the invitation and go out as friends. Make that plain and clear to him. If anything comes of it fine and if not fine. That way I don't think either way you will be crossing any lines. That is if your hospital doesn't have a policy or the BON doesn't. My mother always said that you could never have too many friends.

Also, this day and time maybe you should think about meeting in a public place until you get to know him. It scares me to hear the horror stories.

But on a brighter note, you never know where you will meet Mister or Miss Right.

Home Health Columnist / Guide · Jul 21, 2006

from pa sbon:

professional relationship exists:

for a registered nurse not involved in providing mental health services, the relationship which shall be deemed to exist for a period of time beginning with the first professional contact or consultation between a registered nurse and a patient and ending with the patient's discharge from or discontinuance of services by the nurse or by the nurse's employer. the administration of emergency medical treatment or transitory trauma care will not be deemed to establish a professional relationship. (ii) for a registered nurse involved in providing mental health services, the relationship which shall be deemed to exist for a period of time beginning with the first professional contact or consultation between the nurse and patient and ending 2 years after discharge from or discontinuance of services. for a patient who is a minor, a professional relationship shall be deemed to exist for 2 years or until 1 year after the age of majority, whichever is longer, after discharge from or discontinuance of services

CoolHandLu · Jul 21, 2006

stkates - He rang his bell and when I went to answer it, he passed me his number when he was deeking into the bathroom. I didn't chuck it out. Call me ignorant, but I don't see how he was vulnerable. I didn't feel like I was in a position of power over him.

I guess this is a topic that does not have black or white answers. I will look in our policy and procedure manuals.

HeatherB,CST · Jul 17, 2007

I am not working in a hospital yet, but I will share what I have seen...from the many weeks I've spent in the hospital with my brother (the patient).

He's tall, cute, smart, funny, single, and early 30s. I've never seen a NURSE flirt with him. However, I HAVE seen rad techs, cnas, phlebs, and pt transport girls all flirt/hit on him to some degree. Even the housekeeper decided his room needed a thorough wipedown that took 45 min. He is very charismatic and fun to be around, but good grief!! It's kinda funny, the difference in the way they look at me before and then after they find out I'm his sister, not GF or wife! LOL

His dialysis tech also gave him some "glamour shots" of herself that were...let's say she was showing off her recent elective surgery and excellent taste in swimwear.

He hasn't and won't ask out a care provider, though. I'm proud of him, cuz lordy knows he's been tempted!

One other funny thing...we call the nephrology dept at this hospital "central casting" because EVERY doc there is young and gorgeous! Not an old or funky looking one in the bunch! They come into his room looking like the Grey's Anatomy cast. We are convinced that head shots are required to be submitted with residency applications.

Edited to add: I just realized this is a year-old thread!! oops, my surfing has gone out of control again...

rnmomtobe2010 · Jul 17, 2007

My aunt did it. She was a phebotomist. They have a 8 year old daughter that he has NEVER seen. That sucks!!!

bobnurse · Jul 19, 2007

wow, this is an old thread that has resurfaced

EricG · Jul 19, 2007

Oddly enough,

Most, if not all of my dating in the recent past has been GYN patients from cases that I circulate. Does this seem like a problem? I've looked at it from all angles and can't find an issue!

GOD NO!!!!!!!, lol

My wife may just kill me for even jokingly posting this.......

I dunno, maybe it's just periop services but I simply cannot imagine conversation even coming remotely close to one of a date (married or not). Sure, I have had my share of flirtatious patients and family members (sorry, I'm not bad on the eyes, lol) but there's no way in hell I would even think of walking that thin line, married or not! Plus, being honest with my fellow nurses, probably less than 1% of the patients that get to have me as a part of their perioperative experience do I even remotely find attractive based on my own interpretations of course. :lol2:

Diary/Dairy, RN · Jul 19, 2007

Well, I have never really been tempted, besides, I value my license!!!!

I do have a former co-worker who has slept with many many of the student nurses, cna's, whatever he can get! Just gross!

paraloco · Jan 7, 2008

Many years ago, my mom was a home health nurse. She married the husband of a cancer patient she had been taking care of after she died. I thought it was strange at the time, but my children liked him, and he liked them. I don't think any of his family knew to complain back then. Looking back, it was bad.

jelorde37 · Jun 9, 2008

i've never dated a patient but i have been harassed by same sex patients-kinda weird if i may add...

rusnad · Mar 23, 2011

Hi, everybody. I have a question. I am a student nurse in Canada, almost done with my RN program. During my consolidation I met this nice man. I never was assigned to care for him, it just happened that we started talking and there is a strong attraction between us. I reviewed CNO guidelines, and it says that the nurse can date a patient after the discharge, after applying fair judgement and if it is not obvious that this nurse will continue patient's care. But actually, he never was my patient to start, nor will I ever have to work with him as a nurse after I get my licence. He is getting discharged in a couple of days, asked for my phone number. I declined explaining all ethical aspect, valnurability and such. He said that I surprised him, because he never felt as if I abused my powers, and besides I was never his nurse. Would it be unethical and inappropriate if we have a dinner after his discharge? Or at least exchange numbers, wait for few months and if still feel like talking to each other, have a dinnner or coffee?

He is mentally stable, was at the hospital with fractures.